4/14/11

Why I didn't start therapy years ago I'LL NEVER KNOW.


I have an incredible therapist.



As I crouch into a ball in the corner while this tornado of pain and conflict swirl around me, he has given me some advice that I sorely need.


"You are fighting a battle. As you fight this battle, you need to wrap yourself up with the strength and love of your friends and family. Worry about what's ahead, and let us all worry about the little things. And ask for help."




And so now, I heed his advice.






I am asking for help. (Send some strength. Just a bit of strength.)

49 comments:

Rick Daley said...

I can send you a can o' spinach, that always worked for Popeye.

Brian Miller said...

flowing your way...

and for the record, you should be getting a hug from me in the near future...smiles.

meg said...

I so understand this. My Husband and I are recovering from our second miscarriage. This time we got all the way to 12 weeks saw the heartbeat and then poof all gone. I called one friend of mine and she said "Can I make dinner for you guys?" I must have been in a fog or something and I said yes. I will never ever turn anyone away now that wants to help. Especially with the small stuff. I am not sure how I can help so far away but I will and do think of you often. That's my way of saying you are in my prayers even though my faith is all messed up.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Sending you all the strength I have.

ChiTown Girl said...

Sending you love, prayers, positive thoughts, good vibes...did I miss anything? Oh, yeah... {{{hugs}}}

Gaston Studio said...

Thank goodness you're smart enough to seek professional help... and take his/her advice.

Lots of love and strength heading your way on continuous waves.

DawnA said...

Sending positive thoughts and good vibes your way!

Rima said...

I just sent you a package of strength, tied up with a hopeful ribbon. Did you get it?

Sara J. Henry said...

Can send all the love, support, advice, and books you can handle. Let me know when you're ready for books, and I'll start sending them your way.

Momma C said...

From when I started having kids, my Mom told me to take copious notes throughout their lives. Why? So their therapist would have an easier time sorting out just how badly I fucked them up along the way.

It is a hard world out there. I probably need a therapist, but I had bad experiences early in life, so I blog instead. That you go at all is a sign of your strength.

When my kids are hurting, they squeeze my hand, my finger or as much of me as they can get their little arms around, depending on their hurt. Squeeze away!

Carla said...

Sending strength, faith and love. Wish I could hug you for real, but his virtual hug is gonna have to do.

Anonymous said...

You are going to make it. People do care. :)

Sue said...

Time is the magical answer! And sadly, none of us can control that or speed it up. I promise you though, as more time passes, you will become stronger each and every day. I promise! Your kids will be fine, but like you, they too just need to wade through "time"! Thinking of you, and knowing in my heart you will be okay. I survived the worlds worse divorce in a very similar situation to yours. And somehow, I'm still "standing" and proud of it!

Take care, Sue

duffylou said...

I can envision your family and friends meshed together in a warm, fuzzy, but indestructible, blanket. Let the love and strength of others envelope you while you soak up the power you need to fight the good fight.

Julie said...

Whatcha need? I have big shoulders, a box of Kleenex, and alcohol.

sue.sorgatz said...

It pretty hard to ignore that elephant in the room. I understand chocolate contains magic elixer that will give you the strength to tame that elephant. Wine too! Starbucks? Studies are inconclusive, but I'd consider volunteering for a strictly scientific study. That could be my proudest contribution to society!(BTW, Chocolate is approved by the Department of Education. The wine? Not so much...)

Give yourself just one small perk every day.
Enjoy the sunshine every possible chance.
And save just a little of that sun to get you through some dark times.

this is ME - said...

I have been reading your blog for a little while now, and I don't know all the story (not sure you've even shared them ALL here). I am just beginning down this same road, and if it helps, you stories and heartfelt thoughts are inspiring and encouraging for me. you're real. don't ever get numb to your heart. ever.

Vodka Mom said...

let's just say a financial hurting is hard to overcome. And when someone wants to make you pay some (A LOT) to the IRS the day before it's due when you THOUGHT you were filing together, it can take the wind out of your sails.

Queen Mahin said...

Dear Vodka Mom, I wish I had the words to be eloquent and comforting, but I'm afraid that this will be halting and bumbling instead. Just wanted to say that you are showing strength by asking for what you need and taking the necessary steps to make it better. Sorry you're going through a rough patch.

sAm said...

Consider strength sent. And...this, too shall pass. You have made it through other battles, and this one will someday be a distant memory (perhaps still painful, but at least distant) just as the memory of those battles are to you now.

Ladybird World Mother said...

There will be more wind in the sails, VM. Meanwhile I send you hugs, prayers, love and thoughts.
We all love you. xx

Sara J. Henry said...

Now you know, in the future not to trust that person - and to have these sort of things (who claims whom, etc.) spelled out in arbitration or court documents - unfortunately. Claim EVERYTHING you can - all expenses blog related (file as a business - easy to do on Turbo Tax), claim the kids, etc.

PurestGreen said...

Big squeeze from Scotland. (*)

Amy B. said...

Gawd, asking for help is the best thing ever. It really works. And going to therapy is one of the best ways of asking for help.

I mainly lurk here, rarely comment, but I always read. I love your blog. So a big virtual hug and thanks to you for just being who you are.

SkylersDad said...

Sending you all my best with a hugs topping!

Everyday Goddess said...

You are in my heart of hearts, dear friend!

a Broad said...

Sorry, sweetheart, I had surgery today and was busy but now I am home and I have a bunch of strength and love that I can share .. definitely. Here it comes !!

The Empress said...

I will send you strength.

And I wish Jane, my therapist, would come live with me.

Gigi said...

I think the hardest thing is asking for help - even if it's offered, accepting seems weak somehow. But, as we've all learned, it's not - it's a show of strength.

Sending lots of love and prayers.

Chris said...

I know nothing more to say than "take care" and sending you good vibes.

this might amuse one kindergarden teacher needing help:

http://nobodyscores.loosenutstudio.com/index.php?id=547

anniep said...

Wow. Don't cha hate it when someone else's anger gets all over you? That's assuming I am assuming right. I am a new reader but feel like a long time reader after catching up thru the archives. so, from one kindergarten teacher to another and to use the words of a former student-My hort knows what it wants to say but my mouf won't let me. Hug and good thought coming yor way!

MANDI said...

I'm far away on the other side of the globe and hardly every comment but I want you to know that there are people all over the world, quite literally, who are holding you close to their hearts. I can't physically help but the strength is being sent.

Anna See said...

I'm sorry about the absence of wind in your sails, Vodka. Much love to you. If whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, you're getting mighty strong. LOVE.

absees123s said...

Sending you strength and keeping you in my prayers...I love reading your blog!

Captain Dumbass said...

I'm going to dedicate a little section of my garden to you.

Scope said...

May the ne're do wells in our lives get the beat down that they deserve.

J.J. in L.A. said...

You got it, babe!

(((HUGS)))

Dawn said...

You are an AMAZING woman! Because even on days you are going through things like this... you make us ALL laugh... and THAT is TRULY a gift!
Thank you and sending you strength.

Lynne said...

Vodkamom, I'm sending hugs and good thoughts from the rainy, cold northwest - would it help to file an extension request (don't know the correct name & number for the US form)by tomorrow so youcan get some space to figure things out?

Kyddryn said...

Hugs, darlin'.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

Cat said...

If it makes you feel any better, my son's kindergarten teacher embarrassed my husband today.

I'm British but live in Peru with my Peruvian husband. He's really shy so all the kids' body parts/body function vocabulary is in English not Spanish. Today my son got home from school, whipped out his penis, proffered it to my husband and said (in Spanish), "Look! It's called a penis". My husband went red and weakly asked him to pull his pants up. I thought it was funny at first but then started worrying about how many other people he's excitedly shared his new knowledge with.

Kindergarten teachers are so brave. You can get through anything.

Lili said...

Love and strength to you. Awesome therapists are a blessing.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Therapists can be so cool - Not sure why I'm training to be one - I'll never live up to your hype!

Much, much love to you, Darling VKMom, I hope life brings you the joy you surely deserve - In spades and hearts! Holding you in my (((virtual))) arms... xxx

Kisses to Beautiful Braja too xxx

Paige said...

Good luck with the therapist--I start Wednesday. For the same reason. Blech

And the IRS can be handled. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

HUGS from France!!

You WILL look back on this and know you did it. The world will not end. I know it feels like it, but drink a bunch of wine and dance around the room singing "I will survive" (I'll let you pick your own version, lol). Lean a little bit on everyone - they're all strong enough to take it.

Joan said...

Isn't it funny that you never really know who you're married to until you divorce? I'm so glad you've got a good friend by your side and a therapist behind you. Behind your therapist, there is us. And we're all following you through the tunnel and out the other side.

Ang said...

Oh honey! Sorry I've been MIA for a while- Not sure what all is going on, but I can sense in your post you need a big ole hug and someone's shirt to snot on...here, I'll share. Bankruptcy, divorce/dissolution, my child refusing and falling behind in school work (and I school him at home-nice kick in the gut)...you name it- my life over the last year has been a shit storm-- BUT there is a silver lining, I never would have believed it!! You will find yours also, hang in there girl! You rock!! You will make it!! Love ya much!!

Melissa said...

I rarely comment, but I read every word you write. I've long read between the lines and suspected that we were living parallel lives. I was not the least surprised when you announced your separation. I know absolutely no details, and yet, somehow I do. I'm so proud of you and I'm watching and praying for you every step of the way. I suspect that someday in the near future I will also walk the path you walk. I'm counting on you to make it through whole and happy. I know you will. And when you do, I will know that I can too.
Hugs and prayers,
Melissa

Magpie said...

>>strength>>