(That angel? She lives next door....)
I’ve learned so many things on this little journey I like to call “saving my own life.” (Again, for God's sake...) I’m not just talking about changing taillights; fixing the toilet handle; programming channel changers or remembering to check the little do-hickey on top of the oil tank so that you don’t run out of OIL on the first 15-degree Saturday in December. (That resulted in a $550 bill. Apparently the oil company doesn’t care that you had $52.00 in your checking account. )
No, I’m not talking about those things.
I’m talking about the fact that God works in mysterious and marvelous ways. I know, I know, I don’t talk about God much on this blog. But that doesn’t mean that He doesn’t live in my house; because He does. And even though I’ve often joked that He loves to shake up my world and smile, I also know that He goes out of His way to make sure I’m okay.
I’ve often felt carried through some of the more painful events in my life, and for that I am thankful. But I’ve also realized that sometimes angels grab you by the shoulders and drag you along.
Last year, my angels had their work cut out for them. I spent each month just praying that I would make it; that I could pay my bills and help my children in any way I could. I spent each night lying alone in my bed, mustering the strength to continue my journey, and would discover each day that I would not be traveling alone.
And on those particular days that I felt broken, I would find a card in my mailbox or a package on my front porch. When I was pacing the floor trying to figure out what I could possibly sell to pay for Sassy’s car repairs, or some other necessary bill, I would discover that someone had sent me a donation on Paypal; and I would cry.
I just want to thank every angel out there who has held me, comforted me, listened to me and grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me up. And even though this journey is still in its infancy, I have finally gone from crawling to walking upright. And for that I am grateful.
And so Sharon, Amy, Braja, Elise, Lynn, Kevin, Leslie, MaryAnne, Anne, Suzy, my darling Anna, Sherri, Stacey, Janie, Rene, Joy, Brian, Chris, Cora, Eric, Sheila (the best bff a girl could have) and anyone else I have surely forgotten; you are the best examples of friends.
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and I wish you the Merriest of Christmases, the Happiest of Hanukkahs and the Fantastical of Festivuses. (Now, I'm off to try to pay it forward..)
(thanks for the pillow. It reminds me that in the end, love is all we need. But that love? It's the love you have to have for yourself.)