Today’s entry in the book of Kindergartenese. (This is the advanced class.)

Buckle up. 

1.     Bair.   “Dat’s not bair!”  

2.    Mishta.  “Hasta la mishta, Mrs. Smythe!”

3.    Peanuts a tenshun.  “Mrs. Smythe, what did you say?  I wasn’t peanuts a tenshun.”  (No one listens to me. NO ONE.)

4.    Crap.   “Da kids went to Miss B’s room? Crap!”  This is what the ESL child will say when she realizes that all the ESL children went to ESL without her.    (Cause she wasn’t peanuts a tenshun.)

Crap?   CRAP?   I smell a rat: a tiny, adorable Chinese rat.    

Note to the ESL teacher:  When they can say curse words appropriately, I think they’ve tested OUT of ESL.  Don’t you?


Gigi said...

Wow, I think I may have passed this class!

But then I had lunch with two very small ones today. I desperately needed to calm my nerves afterward though.

I don't know how you make it through a whole day (every day).

Melissa said...

Love, love, love this!

Ellie Mae said...

HA! I am SO gonna have to use the peanuts attention on my boys Very, Very, soon! I'm sure they'll look at me like I'm crazy, but what else is new?!! SO FUNNY! And, HOW do you make it through a whole day (every day)?!

#1Nana said...

Unfortunately the standardized ESL test has no curse words. I know that all our secondary kids would be meeting benchmark if they would add this component!

Brian Miller said...

haha...i am good enough to call english my second language...it took me to the note at the end to figure out what peanut a tenshun meant...i obviously need remedial kindergartenese

Pseudo said...

Hey, no one listens to me either. It takes the 4th or 5th student before I can get one of them to repeat my directions. And that kid usually only heard half.

Love the crap kid ; -)

Sandi McBride said...

hey, I remember this class...I think my sister taught it...

Anonymous said...

I understood the peanuts a tenshun. Maybe that's because when we were young my little sister would get very "nurse" when my dad was trying to teach her to ride a bike and he would let go. To this day, we sometimes say we are nurse instead of nervous.

jessica said...

I have the toddler class so their words aren't even confused with other words- most of them are just made up!! A common phrase used in my class is: "ematanow", prounounced: eh-mah-ta-now, AKA it's my turn now!!

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