3/31/12

It's the old adage...you can't possibly win if you don't play. (And I will most certainly play.)




I walked aboard an airplane today and carried with me a bag filled with anticipation, fear, excitement and hope.  I shoved my great expectation into a quart-sized plastic bag and watched it zip through the metal detectors unnoticed.


I threw caution to the wind, followed my own crazy advice and accepted an offer.



We’ve been talking on the phone almost daily for months and months,  trying in earnest to tell the stories of our lives.   (Have you tried to put 30 years of living in a short story? It’s not easy.)  Our discussions flow easily and comfortably and are sprinkled with laughter, sympathy, heartbreak, and surprise. 


We supplement these conversations with emails, finding that some thoughts are easier conveyed when you pretend that no one is on the other end readying a response, or looking into your eyes.  And throughout it all – throughout this voyage of re-acquaintance, I have felt a stirring in my heart.  An awakening,  a fire slowly beginning to burn. This warmth, this wonder and amazement have given me another kind of courage. 


As I sit here on a plane I realize that I am just a girl going to visit a boy.  But my heart is full of hope.  I feel butterflies in my stomach that I never thought I’d feel again.  I realize that I need to live each day, accept each challenge and bet on each hand that I feel might be a winner.  I lean against the window facing the sun as it’s warmth shines upon my face, and I smile.






Life is good today, my friends.  Life is good.  





(And if I don't live each day to the fullest, then I am nothing but a hypocrite.  And that is that.) 

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rules from my friend Rob over 20 years ago and they all are true:
1. you are the only person who can make yourself happy
2. you can't help how you feel in a moment (this is a perfect example)
3. all men are dicks.

These rules have never failed to be true.

Be true to yourself on this trip and enjoy.

Vodka Mom said...

Oh Sweet LORD I love you


I LOVE YOU.

(And I will remember that- cause I know it's true...)

But I will still try to have SO MUCH FUN. (Cause I need it. wink. wink.)

Brian Miller said...

whoa whoa whoa...who is this guy...i dont know that i have heard anything...i have not vetted him to make sure he is good enough...smiles.

have fun VM

Vodka Mom said...

He's redeeming himself. But more about THAT later. I hope.



I really, really hope.

(Oh. His name rhymes with MINT.)

CaJoh said...

The best of skill in making the most of the moment and making that moment momentous.

Linda M. said...

Have a super time reconnecting. You can use some "me" time, and an opportunity to recharge from your hectic classroom.

Can't wait to hear more! : )

Heather said...

Having recently gone through a divorce I've felt a deep connection with many of your posts lately and this one makes me smile. I look forward to the day that I can trust again and have that tingly feeling again. I've never commented but I've been reading for a while and I love your stories and your honesty. Have a WONDERFUL trip!!!!

ChiTown Girl said...

Sister Girl!!! First of all, I'm a little sad that you're here, but not to see ME. Second, I'll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed (but not my legs, cuz THAT'S no fun!) for you and the boy to have a nice weekend. I'm so sorry our weather has cooled WAY off this week. Then again, maybe you two will be making your own heat. What?! I'm just sayin....

Joanna Jenkins said...

I'm with Brian Miller-- I vote Brian checks this guy out!!!

I'm excited for you!

xoxox jj

JennyExplainsItAll.blogspot.com said...

I can't wait to hear all about it! Oh my, how much I miss that feeling of anticipation. You remind me that it's out there waiting for me (and you!)

Have a marvelous visit.

Vodka Logic said...

Awesome.. don't know it you don't take a chance.

We want deets later. :)

Jen said...

oh wow

you go, throw caution to the wind, and have an AWESOME TIME!!!

I am so proud of you and I am living vicariously through you right now!!

Most of all, look after YOU, make sure that it feels right in your heart AND your head, and if so, DIVE right in there!!

Cant wait to hear more

Jen from Oz
xoxo

Kathy said...

Good luck and have FUN! Be true to yourself. Being a former teacher, I love your classroom stories. But, every teacher needs adult time, and this sounds like a good one! :)

Unknown said...

You GO, Girl!!!!!! We are all rooting for you!!! Have fun!!! Woooo-Hoooooo!!!!

Adie said...

Have a blast and be happy!

Cora said...

It like we are living twin lives sometimes, have you ever noticed that?! :-)

Have fun, my dear! You deserve it!

Scope said...

Hmmmm...

This sounds oddly familiar.

As the person who got on that plane almost 3 years ago, I'm warning you, be careful. Look what happened to poor Cora! ;-)

But are gymnasts, even ones with bad knees, supposed to be the ones unafraid to leap? (Just stick the landing. Tripping over your wheelie bag coming thru security is a tad embarrassing.)

Sue said...

You rock, I'm happy for you, and thanks for warming my heart today! You deserve a VERY nice time and I hope you get just that!!

Take care,
Sue

Mrs4444 said...

Oh, wow! That's EXCITING (and scary)! I'm so excited for you. I hope it all went well, and I look forward to updates :)

Kate Lord Brown said...

oh oh oh! Happy for you:)enjoy it all one day at a time x

Red79 said...

Cheers to throwing caution to the wind! So excited for you! I hope you have an amazing trip. Can't wait to hear all the details (well most of the details). Enjoy!

Her and the Boys said...

Have fun and REALLY enjoy yourself! You are brave and courageous for taking a chance....not everyone would be able to do it. Cheers to you!