I picked Bitchy up from her apartment early this morning so that she could come home and bask in all that is Easter. Or…so she could shower and get ready for her all day gig driving the beverage cart at the golf course. (Apparently everyone GOLFS on Easter Sunday.)
She convinced me to go through the Drive-Thru Dunkin Donuts on the way home by informing me that her switching her caffeine addiction from Starbucks to DD has helped her save a ton of money. How that helps me in particular I do not know, but I smiled and rewarded this momentous decision with the quick detour.
The girl who handed us Bitchy’s coffee was wearing THE MOST ridiculous bunny sunglass/mask contraption and I laughed out loud! Bitchy handed me the money and when I received her change I gave a dollar to the girl and said, “Thanks for making my day.”
As we drove off Bitchy turned to me. “I can’t believe you tipped her with MY MONEY!”
“Bitchy, she was working on EASTER. And she deserved it.”
“No! She was probably Jewish, and that mask was hideous! It was creepy! Do not give my money away without asking!”
“Honey, you know you have to treat others the way YOU want to be treated!”
“Oh, Jesus,” she muttered as she rolled her eyes.
“What goes around COMES around,” I added.
“Oh, for God’s’ sake, stop it!”
“Honey, Listen to me. I want you to go to heaven! I am determined that you go to heaven some day, even if I have to drag you there myself. And after this conversation, I’m guessing that’s exactly what I’m going to have to do.”
(A mother's work is never done. NEVER.)