I'm gonna have enough trouble getting MYSELF to heaven...(Make a reservation for me, would ya)

I picked Bitchy up from her apartment early this morning so that she could come home and bask in all that is Easter. Or…so she could shower and get ready for her all day gig driving the beverage cart at the golf course.  (Apparently everyone GOLFS on Easter Sunday.)

She convinced me to go through the Drive-Thru Dunkin Donuts on the way home by informing me that her switching her caffeine addiction from Starbucks to DD has helped her save a ton of money. How that helps me in particular I do not know, but I smiled and rewarded this momentous decision with the quick detour.

The girl who handed us Bitchy’s coffee was wearing THE MOST ridiculous bunny sunglass/mask contraption and I laughed out loud!  Bitchy handed me the money and when I received her change I gave a dollar to the girl and said, “Thanks for making my day.” 

As we drove off Bitchy turned to me.  “I can’t believe you tipped her with MY MONEY!”

“Bitchy, she was working on EASTER.  And she deserved it.”

“No!  She was probably Jewish, and that mask was hideous!  It was creepy! Do not give my money away without asking!”

“Honey, you know you have to treat others the way YOU want to be treated!”

“Oh, Jesus,” she muttered as she rolled her eyes.

“What goes around COMES around,” I added.

“Oh, for God’s’ sake, stop it!”

“Honey, Listen to me.  I want you to go to heaven! I am determined that you go to heaven some day, even if I have to drag you there myself.   And after this conversation, I’m guessing that’s exactly what I’m going to have to do.”

(A mother's work is never done.  NEVER.)


Brian Miller said...

there is irony in her words back to you...smiles....way to go mom...happy easter...

Nell Jean said...

Maybe you could give her a new pseudonym up to which she could rise.

Vodka Mom said...

Well, I COULD do that. But she's worked SO hard to earn the one she has.


elisabeth said...

You are always so awesome...although my oldest is 12 and I am a little afraid for what might be around the corner :-) Happy Easter!

Mercy Langille said...

The things I have to look forward to...

Scope said...

Irony - Girl working on Easter hoping for tips while selling beverages bitching about tipping a girl working on Easter hoping for tips while selling beverages.

Mrs Catch said...

Mercy! You make me giggle. Hope your Easter was fantastic.

Heidi said...

Bitchy forgot that the Jews were celebrating Passover this Easter!lol
My daughter get's mad at me anytime I try to teach her anything but I think it get's into helps her brain irregardless.

Kathleen Fisher said...

We had one of those days with our own daughter. A complete meltdown because I loaned her copy of Hunger Games out without her permission. To her brother.

Alexis said...


I'm late to the party (AGAIN!) but oh how I'm sooooo with ya on this!! My "girls" are 28 this year. Kickin & screamin baby, they're getting to heaven....kickin & screamin!!

My new quote (thought of you immediately of course):

Teachers do not teach for the income.

Teachers teach

for the outcome.


♥ Braja said...

Whip 'em, but whip 'em good ;))

miss you lovely :) xoxoxoxo