I had a moment tonight.
I was sitting on the lovely deck of a kindergarten co-worker of mine. Her incredible husband texted her at lunch and offered to host happies for us. (Apparently after 13 years of marriage, he knows how the teacher feels on a Friday afternoon. And yeah, now we all want to marry him.)
I glanced around her back yard, searching her gardens for familiar flowers. You might remember that when I made the move to save my own life I left behind many, many, many gardens that I had lovingly tended for over 15 years. During the spring and summer months, I would take early morning “garden tours” around my yard with my coffee, enjoying the varied and incredibly beautiful flowers. My friends would stop by for cuttings or plants, and I would share freely and happily.
I can’t do that anymore.
I asked Ms. Awesome if we could walk around the yard, and she happily followed me down the steps. We walked slowly as I pointed and named all the various plants that were in different stages of growth. She reminded me about the ones that I had given her when she and her husband had started their gardens. (He works in agriculture, and is a kick-ass gardener. Of COURSE.) It took me a bit to remember the names, and that rattled me. I was always the one who knew ALL the names of everything- they rolled off my tongue effortlessly which always shocked me because frankly, I can’t remember much of anything else.
I stood in front of a plant in the corner of her yard, and remembered that this was once my very, very favorite! (Thank God I remembered SOMETHING.) It had fuzzy, greenish-white leaves, and a tiny magenta flower. The color was always magnificent, and I always waited anxiously for them to bloom.
I stood there, and I couldn’t remember its name. I tried and tried and tried and it never came to me. I was floored.
We walked back to the deck and carried on a lively conversation about funny stories from the day with everyone else. I sat at a table and tried my hardest to remember the name of the plant. But I couldn’t. I really, really COULDN’T!
Finally, I had to excuse myself and leave the party. I couldn’t explain the sadness that washed over me as I realized that I had lost this particular part of me. I rattled off names of flowers out loud as I drove home, hoping that it would spark something in my brain.
It wasn’t until I was able to Google it that I discovered its name.
And tomorrow I plan on making a trip to my lovely neighbor’s home to beg, borrow or steal every single plant that I didn’t even KNOW I was missing until tonight. After all, she's the one that gave them all to me in the first place.
I've decided to be her newest and best project ever.