And the prizes just KEEP on coming (Isn't God tired yet? Can't someone else give Her a good laugh??)

The very BEST way to make a great impression on not only your new principal and new school secretaries but also ALL THE PARENTS in the office and in the front of the school volunteering on FIELD DAY????

Have someone from the Sheriff's Department serve you with papers because your (@*#*$^ ex-landlord is suing you for Three THOUSAND five hundredDollars for items that were (not) broken (by you)  or on their last leg when you moved in.  (I guess the 1500 deposit and the 500 in escrow wasn't enough to cover the, um, carpet cleaning?)

Honestly, it's fun stuff like THIS that just makes my life so darn fun!    (Frankly, I'm just about done....) 

(Why couldn't they have sent Woody?  Would have been MUCH less scary for the kids....)


ArtWithAnAttitude said...

Man that really sucks,... I've been there, only in my case it was an eviction notice and at work... Hope your day gets better,. Vodka makes everything better : ) especially watermelon vodka

Lorraine said...

YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. I would tell you to click your heels together three times and repeat it, but we both know that won't get you anywhere. Though it does seem like you've landed in Oz.

Gigi said...

Holy hell - seriously?! Fight it VM. That is ridiculous.

Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Ridiculous! This really stinks, VM. I'm so sorry!

Vodka Mom said...

I'm trying to look at it like this....I am always learning. Unfortunately, I'm learning that there are some people who really aren't very nice.

And I will find a way to talk to them FIRST before I batten down the hatches for the battle......I know I'm right on this one...

And you can't really get blood from a stone. right???

Brian Miller said...

ugh...sorry the hits keep coming VM...what a scum bag as well...milking it for everything it is worth...

Scope said...

I'm really starting to wonder about humanity.

Cora said...

First of all, I can't believe they would serve you AT AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL with kids present. How disturbing!!

Second, unless you poured battery acid all over the carpets and scribbled with red lipstick all over the ceiling and walls, there is NO FLIPPING WAY that you owe that scumbag landlord $3000 on top of the money he already has. No way at all!

I've seen The People's Court. There are landlord cases like that all the time where landlords try to screw renters out of money by claiming it took three days to clean the place and that they think they deserve $300 an hour for it, etc, and it never flies. Never. I say go to court against the jerk. He'll have to produce receipts and pictures and proof of what the costs really are. Additionally, he'll only be allowed compensation for the value of the items at the time (if, say, the ten year old carpet got soiled beyond cleaning, he'll be allowed to keep the cost of ten year old carpet, NOT what it would cost to put in NEW carpet, etc).

There is NO WAY his calculations are correct. That's ridiculous. Make him try to prove it in court. He will never be able to, and you will probably find yourself being awarded part of your security deposit back as well because his claim is outrageous and bloated.

You might want to look into the law in your state about this sort of thing as well. Some states (the ones who are sick and tired of shifty landlords like that) even allow the renter to collect double the security deposit back if the landlord is found to have been trying to cheat the renter. If that's the case in your area, you should certainly counter claim against him for double your deposit back.

I know you're tired of fighting and just want a peaceful moment for once, but, my fabulous, brilliant, beautiful lady, this is a fight you will absolutely win.... y'know, unless you plastered dirty diapers and sardines inside the wall or something batshit crazy like that.

As Edna Mode would say, "FIGHT! WIN!"

Go get 'im!

Auntie Pam said...

You are, indeed, a good person. When you sue the ex-landlord, be sure to include pain and suffering. You will win. Start gathering evidence now. I'm guessing you don't have pictures, but you do have hilarious blog posts.Judge Judy loves those!

One crazed mommy said...

Oh that just royally sucks - I'm so sorry! :(

J-Berg said...

I'm a landlord in your state. I might be able to offer some insight on what the process will be like, what information you can come armed with etc.

Let me know if I can help.

Jen said...

I LOVE what Cora said... can you do that?????

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