3/28/14

What happens when kids miss five hundred THOUSAND days of recess. (We missed you, Mr. Sun.)



Sometimes, after a long, unbearably frigid winter that has PRECLUDED recess for several thousand days, the first grade children might, perhaps, forget some of the playground rules.

For starters, our gorgeous little Korean girl named Daisy MIGHT have forgotten that when you ask the teacher if you can go to the bathroom and she points to the lower entrance of the school and says, “Yes, you may!  Go down below and go to the bathroom! Go, go go!” it means that you are to push the BUTTON at the lower door, enter the building when the buzzer goes off and go to the bathroom  IN THE BATHROOM right inside the door.)

It doesn’t mean that you run like the wind down the hill, THROUGH the off limits parking lot, pull down your pants and SQUAT under the large glass office window, and pee onto the daffodils and tulips that are just beginning to peek out of the ground. 

Sophia and Josie forgot that eating mud brownies is not only GREATLY discouraged at recess, it's also incredibly disgusting. ( Oh, and for future reference, a mouth PACKED with gravelly mud will make it incredibly hard for the teacher to understand your request for water....) 

Then, one of the boys playing basketball might forget that the penalty for traveling with the basketball is NOT chasing and tackling said opponent to the ground and choking them while screaming, "Penalty! Penalty!"  It was, however, probably comical to watch the teacher with a new hip try to run towards you screaming “STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!” at the top of her lungs.

And then, after many of the playground rules were reviewed for the BILLIONTH time upon returning, exhausted, to the classroom, one of the children forgot a very important inside rule.


Never, ever look at the teacher and utter the words, “What the HELL?” when she decides to give a spelling test.  



I wonder if he can spell “grounded?”








(How do I spell Friday?  V. O. D. K.  A. )









21 comments:

Ingrid said...

This made me laugh. Thanks for that.

Elizabeth said...

OK, I'm glad I had not just taken a drink of my wine because then my laptop would have been splattered from my Guffaw!! at this post, especially the spelling test. Oh. My. Goodness. In fact, my husband had to stop what he was doing in order to hear what had made me laugh soooo hard. Thanks for sharing.

Vodka Mom said...

Elizabeth- I am still laughing my @$$ off.

Kristi said...

I think I'm going to try that on my boss when he gives me a last minute assignment on Friday afternoons! LOL Thanks for the smiles!

Mrs4444 said...

Boy, can I relate; it's been a LONG winter!

Joanie said...

Oh yeah. Those are fun days, aren't they? Even without the snow, any child (and any ADULT, for that matter) who has been without a good recess is apt to do something a bit crazy as all rules suddenly belong to a different universe.

anniep said...

Made me laugh again! This reminds me of the time I received an emphatic 'DA-yum' at the end of my particularly awesome rendition of the the book Noisy Nora.

Susanne said...

Hilarious Vodka! Especially the spelling test. Gotta love kids and their special take on the world...

One crazed mommy said...

OMG - this cracked me up!!!! Thank you for this - needed it on a Monday morning! :)

Anonymous said...

Bet those flowers will grow a treat after that watering! I spell Friday W I N E N O W! Love that we leave comments now. Been following you for ages and there have been many many times I wanted to say how you have made me smile or to send hugs xx

Lil Mama said...

I thank you so much for being a teacher. I would never have such patience. I have a 5 year old with boundless energy. When I say boundless I mean it. He wears out the Boarder Collie. I can't imagine having a whole room full.

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