I’m 56 years old, and I have finally discovered what a “grown-up” relationship really looks like.
I shake my head and try very hard not to regret many of the moments of those 56 years, but I’ve realized in the last year that I had no idea what a real, honest to goodness GROWN UP relationship really was.
I have three incredibly horrible/wonderful children, and remind myself every single day how thankful I am for them. It’s because of them that I’ve come to know the real meaning of joy, true love, despair, fear, great pride and gratitude. It’s also because of those three souls that I can’t regret the many years I spent in an unfortunate marriage. (If I wasn’t still raw from the fact that someone who shall not be named managed to steal ½ of my TEACHER’S retirement, I might actually thank him for those children.)
Last year The Powers That Be took pity on me. They knew I finally loved and respected myself, and I guess they decided I was ready to be loved by someone else. But this time they sent someone my way who is kind, generous, loving, handsome, funny and who can dance like nobody’s business. They sent me a real man.
You know what I’ve realized a grown-up relationship means? Most of you are probably lucky enough to already know, but I’m going to share my own earth shattering realizations about what a real man in a grown-up relationship really does.
First, a real man doesn’t play any crazy games. He doesn’t wait to call you, he doesn’t ignore your text messages or phone calls, and he makes you feel like you are the only and best partner in the world. He loves to hear your voice in the morning, and wants to hear it before he goes to sleep. He reminds you each day that you are important to him and that you are an important part of his life.
Second, he’s honest. He tells you when you are wonderful, and when you are sounding a bit crazy. He tells you when you look beautiful and when you might want to donate that well-worn blue dress to the Goodwill. He admires your children for their strengths, and gently reminds you when they make a misstep. (Moms are a bit blind in some instances…it’s that maternal component that brings on an occasional bout of blindness.)
Third, he makes it easy for YOU to be honest. He listens to my boring stories, my silly fears and my occasional trips into the world of crazy ranting. He never makes me feel like I should hide any of these sides of myself, and always has a response that makes me laugh. Sometimes I think I share WAY TOO MUCH, but that’s because my heart is so at ease with this man.
And while I could go on and on, do you know one of the best things of all about being in this particular grown-up relationship? (Well, besides the fact that I’m crazy about him…) He’s decided that he needs to show me a world I’ve never seen before.
And when I say the world, I really mean it.
Buckle up, cause vodkamom’s adventures have been raised to an entirely new level.....