I thought it would be easy.
I was wrong.
I thought that moving into this house and “house-sitting”
for the year would be the answer to my prayers. Sure, I was still paying almost the same amount of rent but
I didn’t have to worry about a deposit and a few other incidentals that I had
to pay if I were to rent any other place.
Silly me, I forgot how much The Powers That Be LOVE to @(#* me up.
I didn’t think it would be a big deal to have ALL of my worldly possessions (that keep dwindling down to less and less with each move)
packed and stored in a garage and half a basement. I didn’t think it would be hard to step right into someone
else’s reality and preserve it for them while they were enjoying a year in
Italy.
I was wrong.
It was easy at first, and a carefree feeling had
settled into my heart. I enjoyed
the large lived-in home and made myself comfortable among unfamiliar
surroundings. But then, slowly, I
began missing some of the things that had for so long been at my
fingertips. The things that
brought me comfortable memories and reminded me of the children I loved and the
parents who loved me. I miss the
photos that were packed in bozes; the quilts lovingly stitched by my mother and
the small wooden elephant my father had given me when we met his boat as it
docked in Nice almost 50 years ago.
I didn’t know I’d miss the field hockey sticks perched in a
corner, or the container near the TV of various controls, wires and cords that
connected to some kind of game station to something in the back of the TV. I
didn’t know I’d miss the five BAZILLION wine glasses I used for vodka, my
familiar kitchen utensils, my books perched on shelves or my various junk in my
various junk drawers.
I didn’t know I’d miss my stuff.
The lesson I’ve learned from all of this melancholy? (Besides
the fact that women who’ve had all their “stuff” removed can still apparently
be hormonal and wackadoodle once in a while) is this: I guess if you can’t have the people you love most around you, it’s helps to surround yourself
with the things that “bring them back”.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the basement to root
through boxes and bring back my people. (I need some love
around here.)
