Sassy hits one out of the park.

And I thought I might be lonely. (aka Sassy really does love me.)

However, when I said I needed a mousetrap, I think she misunderstood. (The mice are bigger than he is.)

Big, Throbbing Nuggets of Comfort

Have you met Anna? Do yourself a favor, and go see her. She is brilliant, hysterical, talented and just as normal as the rest of us.

Dear Vodka,

I'm so happy to be here today on your blog. Thank you for the invite.

Listen, a little birdie told me that you've been facing some tough challenges lately and, although I don't have any details of the situation (frickin' tight-lipped birdie), I want you to know that I'm there for you.

In an effort to try and raise your spirits at the start of this brand-new year, I'd like to share with you some of my favorite quotations – time-honored touchstones that have seen me through many a greasy patch on life's highway.

I hope these sayings provide you with the comfort of knowing that somewhere out there, some very wise people have already stepped in every cow flop in the pasture...and in this way we can learn from them. Enjoy.

"Happiness and bliss are just a choice away. If you want really good Thai food, however, you're going to have to drive." ~ Leo Buscaglia

"When life gives you lemons, freeze them and then wing them off your balcony at people." ~ John Tesh

"It's unavoidable. Some days are just buzzkills." ~ Mother Teresa

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And, if that step happens to be toward Daniel Craig, I'm coming with you." ~ Traditional Chinese Saying

"Watson, you dillweed. It's never going to work if you don't plug it in." ~ Alexander Graham Bell

"When life gets me down, I go for a walk in the woods. I figure if I stay gone long enough, the jerkwads who hurt me are going to think I got eaten by a bear and then the joke's on them, right? Ha!" ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Hang on a minute. Perhaps this isn't as irretrievably effed up as I thought it was." ~ M. Gandhi

Cheers and Happy New Year to you, D.!

Love,

Anna

I might have to start serving food at this little gathering. But then again, no one would probably eat it.

If I were a little more like Scary Mommy, I'd probably be thinner.

This was a gift from my friend, Jill. And while I know MANY people who share this pet peeve, I, unfortunately, am not one of them.And yeah, it's a guest post. And if only I had Merv Griffin's couch, we'd be all set. Kramer.

The most wonderful time of the year is over. The one time when near strangers ring your doorbell to drop off plates of home-made cookies and brownies and chocolates. The time when school parents send goodies home in back-backs and bring fresh muffins for breakfast. It's all over. Thank God.

I suck, I know. Bah Humbug. I just can't help it. Food prepared by people I don't know well freaks me out.

Now, I know that restaurants are no picnic. I certainly don't know the chefs and some downright questionable shit goes on in those kitchens. The neon signs about hand-washing might not get through to the line-chef and retribution for annoying preparation requests may be commonplace... I know. But, for me, there is just something different about a restaurant and a home kitchen.

When I had my babies, we had some kind and generous neighbors who brought us home-cooked meals every day for weeks. I bet they were delicious. Jeff certainly enjoyed them. But I wouldn't know. If they came from a kitchen I didn't know, I couldn't get myself to eat any of it.

Am I alone here? It certainly feels like it-- I don't see anyone else picking around at out at pot-lucks, trying to figure out who made what or passing on the homemade goodies. I just can't do it. So, you can skip my house next year for the holidays. I'll take the plant instead.