8/19/09

I don't even know what she was mad about...


Dear Bitchy,

Just a word of warning: your sister, Sassy, is waging an INCREDIBLE campaign to take over your name. Just when I thought 17 might be the perfect age, she decided to REMIND me about what 17 year-old girls are really like.


Also, I would recommend that you either start treating me like crap again, or wave goodbye to the name “Bitchy” that you earned AND wore so proudly these last four years. This lovely young woman who is ready to go back to college is SURELY an impostor.


Quick, help me hide Sassy’s car keys! She’s grounded for at LEAST a year after last night’s screaming rampage. (I promised myself not to look her in the eye. Why do I forget that?)


Love, (And I really mean it this time.)

Mom



58 comments:

Cora said...

Awwww, Bitchy's growing up. *sniffle* :-)

Cora said...

Oh my God, was I really the first commenter?!?! YES!!!!

Keyona said...

OMG, You scare me to death with the teenage girl talk. Enough already. J/K. :o)

WeaselMomma said...

I've got a 15 year old who is ready to fight to the death for the title. Picture this "Eldest vs. Sassy in a cage match".

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

ooh ouch!

Joanie M said...

Oh, she wants something, I tell you! And it's probably expensive!

Moonlight Hollow Musings said...

Bless your heart! I can't imagine raising teenage girls! Boys are bad enough...but girls, pleeeassseee!

Malisa

Sprite's Keeper said...

Hmmm, I wonder. Could she want something or has she crossed the threshold into adulthood where common sense actually has a place? This will be a wait and see!
xoxo

Suzy said...

I'll bet you can imagine what kind of teenager I was.

Rick Daley said...

Alternate names for The New Bitchy:

Homeless
Broke
Destitute
Survivalist
Really Fucking Sorry, Let Me Back in the House Please

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Okay - so maybe I'll *enjoy* my two year old daughter's crappy summer cold attitude today... It sounds 100 times better than that!

only a movie said...

1. I really like the car keys.
2. We can name them Bitchy 1 and Bitchy 2?
3. I hope your little kindergartners treat you like gold on the first day of school.
4. Teenagers suck.

Tammy Howard said...

You mean they trade dispositions? As long as I have at least one that's tolerable...

Sandee said...

I've so enjoy Bitchy. I'm going to miss her. Just saying.

Have a terrific day. :)

Desert Songbird said...

I'm really hoping my daughter ages gracefully. I'm not holding my breath, but a mother can hope, right? Right?!

The Gierich's said...

How bout Bitchy and Bitchier?

Sandi said...

I think you may have just created a nightmare. You know Bitchy isn't going to give that name up, she loves it and so now you have forced her to fight for it. Oh girl, You may regret that little letter...

Frau said...

OMG you are scaring me! I can barely handle my hormonal moody 15 year old it gets worse??

Jeff D'Antonio said...

STOP THAT! Have you read my most recent post? I had a nice warm glow about me as I immersed myself in lovely thoughts about the joys and wonders of watching my girls grow up, and then you had to go and shatter my illusion by reminding me about what's coming in the next few years....STOP it!

~Just me again~ said...

LOL...dont think it's over...its just a phase. Mine did that too. Just when I thought the Bitchy was over and gone it came back, they're now 24 and 21. They always come back LOL

Just sayin' ;)

Mrs. D said...

My mom said we didn't turn "human" again until were about 22 or 23, so don't go changing names just yet.

SSP said...

i should get my brother to read your blog...his daughter is 2 and he walks on water for her...I tell him to remember these moments cuz I remember what I was like at that age...I could have taken Bitchy and Sassy together with one hand tied to a chair!!!

Deb Thaxton said...

-->What would Bitchy's new name be? If you want to make the sponsors happy, call her Crystal Light or Wishbone. ha!

http://www.WebSavyMom.com

Jan said...

Beloved's youngest daughter is 17 and they are butting heads BIG TIME. She's being a complete SNOT, and I keep reminding him what the two older girls were like when they were that age, but he doesn't want to listen. He just wants to be mad at her.

Think I'll point him in your direction.

The Seeker said...

My sister has always held the title of Bitchy. I don't think I've ever had enough gall to pull that off.

Alix said...

Would you write to my son for me please?

Angie Ledbetter said...

My daughter Queenie must be weird (well, look who raised her!), but we don't have these spats. Now the boys (17 & 18), that's a whole nothr story.

PS Dayum, can I have some of your followers? LOL

PSS Come do-si-do at the Haiku Hoedown if you get a chance. :)

Toni said...

They must be late bloomers. I turned bitch that day I hit 13!

Michel said...

oh vodka! don't be silly. The bitchy never ends!! You're just going to have to name them bitchy/1 and bitchy/2 (b/1 and b/2) for shorthand.

my father still calls me princess - but with air quotes. the man is insulting. I WAS the princess of that kingdom!

laughingwolf said...

lol... having two daughters in their 20s, i can tell you that stuff NEVER ends :O

*Akilah Sakai* said...

One of these days after reading your teenage drama, I'm going to sit on my kid's head and put her right back in the womb!


P.S.
Stop by. Your blog has been given the OFFICIAL SEAL OF AWESOMENESS!

Gaston Studio said...

**Sigh**

Teenagers.

Mrs. E said...

Yep! What all these people said. And double that *sigh* for me!

Vodka Logic said...

Funny, my baby just turned 15 and there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.

xx

♥ Braja said...

Parenting. Huh....

Zip n Tizzy said...

After 17 years of hand me downs, looks like she's just going to have to live with one more. Now take Lovely daughter (formerly known as bitchy) shopping for an awesome new name. Wave Sassy's keys as you're backing out the drive!

Jeanne said...

As I was just saying in Monday's post, I'm actually not crazy about people between the ages of 14 and 25....

Sounds like Bitchy may be exiting Adolescent Hell a few years early!

blognut said...

OMG. What are you going to do for a pseudonym for the old Bitchy?

And will Sassy become Bitchy.2? Like a software version?

Maggie said...

Now, I know how my mom felt and still feels. LOL! :)

Mango Girl said...

Maybe it is a rite of passage and Bitchy is passing on the title.

Carolyn...Online said...

Maybe Bitchy is like the Highlander. There can be only one.

KMcJoseph said...

Bitch bitch bitch...

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Ruh roh. Do you think they could have utilized the "bump" utility on their iphones and switched personalities instead?

Mimi Lenox said...

Lord, you crack me up.
Brilliant writer you are, even if it's little bitchy letters from Mom.

Oh Lord, you crack me up.

SweetPeaSurry said...

Great Gatsby you crack me up woman.

How about Bitchy-less and Bitchy-Too?

Just in case ya know?

Blessings!

merlotmom said...

Oh god, NO. Please, NO! My oldest is 13 next month and I'm...so...scared. Someone hold me.

Joanie said...

Would I still be called Bitchy if I admitted to harboring occasional "attitudes" toward my parents? I mean, I don't SAY anything or scream aloud, but I often hear it all echoing in my head.

The thing is, I still dearly love my parents. But damn if they don't still know which buttons to push sometimes.

that one girl said...

bitchy and sassy....B&S...BS...BULLSHIT!

ONE NAME - TWO PEOPLE - SAME PERSONA...WORKS FOR ME....

(and if they don't respond to the new moniker just crazy glue their lips shut while they sleep...that should clear those screaming fits right up!)

Captain Dumbass said...

Can I name one of my son's bitchy?

flutter said...

you are a freakin saint.

Alan Burnett said...

That's lovely, that is.

PippaD said...

I'm just off to call my Mum to apologise for being me from the age of 12-20 something...

Pastor Sharon said...

Sounds like that moment when you hear the choir in the background singing in one unified voice: "Ahhhhh"!

A Mom on Spin said...

Well let's see. . . there's always moody. . . broody . . . witchy. . .teary. . . pouty. . .cranky. . .and little shit!

Organic Meatbag said...

Bitchy and sassy? I would be "gassy"...hahahaha!

kanishk said...

I can't imagine raising teenage girls! Boys are bad enough...


Work From Home

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I see my future in your posts...

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