8/18/09

No thanks, I don’t need change...


When you FINALLY find the old family butcher shop, tucked in the middle of NOWHERE, OREGON, there are just a couple of sights that might shock you.

It won’t be the many ANIMAL HIDES hanging from various rusty nails throughout the tiny cavernous windy rooms that the store inhabits.

It won’t be the smell of freshly butchered, um, cow – I hope. I couldn’t quite tell WHAT meat it was as I peered through the somewhat cloudy and overloaded meat case.

It won’t be the HUGE fella behind the counter with a blood stained apron and what looks like a huge MEAT CLEAVER in his hands.

It won’t even be the sign on a large hunk of what appeared to be pate that said “PUDDING MEAT”. (Now THAT was appealing.)

The biggest shock? When you ask for change for a $20 and the woman reaches deeply into her UNDERWEAR to find her wad of cash.

“Um, well, never mind! NO!! I didn’t really need any.”


And don’t let the screen door hit you as you RUN from the store, holding your precious jalapeño hot dogs.


Wait, is that dueling banjos I hear????


66 comments:

CK Lunchbox said...

I know you were in Oregon, but it made me remember that there was a Big Foot sighting not far from were you live in PA. No kidding. Yes, Paddle faster!

Irish Chicken Soup said...

I think I would have left the hot dogs. Who knows where they decide to put the buns for warm, safe keeping. O.o

Baglady said...

I sincerely hope it's her bra and not her knickers. No one wants change that comes from anywhere near her badly packed kebab!

TexasRed said...

Yikes!!

Amy said...

I just came by here after a recommendation from Pastor Sharon.

After reading this, I have suddenly become a vegetarian. Oh My! I can't stand the sight of raw meat or the touch of it. And when I got to the part about the money, I had to go "spit" and take a bath and wash my hands before I could come back and make a comment!

DON'T EAT THE HOT DOGS!

Vodka Logic said...

I will stick to the supposed civilization where I live, thanks.

L xx

Deb Thaxton said...

-->At least you didn't ask for change for a dollar!

www.WebSavyMom.com

Grand Pooba said...

Ewwwww! When you say underwear please tell me you are talking about her bra!

PippaD said...

You know I am so glad that it was you and not me. :)

anymommy said...

Ominous banjo picking plays as I run screaming from your blog. Wait? What was that about feeling queasy over at my place ;-)

Brian Miller said...

and you are feeling pretty lucky for having survived until you look at the half eaten hot dog in your hand and realise...she probably made the hotdogs after giving someone change...

A Mom on Spin said...

I can think of no funnier retort than !

KMcJoseph said...

Mmmmmmmmmmm...pudding meat!

Snappy Finger said...

That's a scary movie... the toothless guy sort of reminds me of a few people in this area... OOPS... okay, Virginians.. just kidding,,, LOL (maybe)

Snappy Di

Kathryn Magendie said...

*LAUGHING!!!!*eyewwwww

My son lives in Portland, OR.....

Deb said...

gee thanks! i was just about to eat and now suddenly am not so hungry anymore.

Sandee said...

Well you are in Oregon. Don't get angry now...I was born and raised in Oregon and couldn't wait to move.

Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

Pollyanna (formerly the Laughing Idiot) said...

Ewwwwwwwwwe!

I totally agree on the hotdogs though - there is nothing like natural casing hot dogs from the butcher shop. When I was a kid, the butcher always gave a raw one that we ate while our parents were ordering their meat for the month.

Kat said...

She pulled the change out of her KNICKERS?????

Jan said...

OMG, if I didn't know better, I'd say you'd met my sister.

Yeah, I have one of THOSE families.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Well, money is called green not only for its color, but for the fact that something green could possibly be on money taken from a person's crusty undies.

(I have no idea where I'm trying to go with this but I hope it grosses someone out.) ;)

Suzy said...

Meat pudding, who wouldn't want some of that?

LPC said...

You just said jalapeno hot dogs and underwear in the same post. I don't know if I can survive that.

Hit 40 said...

I would have said that I suddenly do not feel well. Please keep the hot dog and give me back the $20. This would have been a good day to diet.

Tammy Howard said...

Wow.

I WANT to have something to say...

I MEANT to say something...

But all I've got is...

Wow.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

I was going to make a joke about Jalapeño hot dogs coming from mexican bulls, but...nah, too easy.

I would be a little concerned about the origin and history of those hot dogs, however. Yikes.

Midwest Mommy said...

And you still bought the hot dogs? Ewww! lol. Guess what I got in the mail today :-)

That one girl said...

Yeahh, uhhh, that's why money can freak me out. I mean, I've heard my share of money falling in poopy toilets and the owner reaching down to retrieve it...

Sara said...

That brings a whole new meaning to the term "coin slot".

I'll pass.

SkylersDad said...

When i was a kid growing up, my old small town butcher taught me to eat raw hamburger on saltine crackers.

I kid you not...

ModernMom said...

I'm willing to bet they are the best hotdogs you ever eat!
Small toen butchers are the best:)

Pastor Sharon said...

This has to be the best diet plan I have ever tried. I just can't get the YUCK out of my head!

Lee Ryan said...

Hey, she had to put her quarters and dimes somewhere!

Beth said...

Maybe that pudding meat is the leftovers when customers hurl after getting change....

laughingwolf said...

well durn, maw, thunk ye waz in kaintuck, there ;) lol

Mango Girl said...

That is how she makes a living, without actually asking for tips!

OMG! How disgusting!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Just don't ask the cashier to "open the til". :-)
xoxo

Alix said...

You shore have a purty mouth & squeal like a pig.

That's all I got.

that one girl said...

i have no words

The Renaissance Chick said...

Deliverance is the only movie I watched that literally made me sick. I threw up! When we moved to East Texas, Lurch and I kept humming Dueling Banjos! Lots of trees and backwoods folks! :(

Malisa

The Grandpa said...

I can't stop laughing long enough to leave a comment. Beautiful, gorry post.

Twenty-Something said...

OH GOD! I was not expecting that!!! GROSS! I would have run as fast as I could to the nearest civilized town!

I thought this stuff only happened in movies!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I don't know if I would ever be able to eat pudding again...

Jenni Jiggety said...

Day-um! I hope she washes her hands before she serves up that meat pudding!

Susan said...

She is moonlighting as a pole dancer?

Desert Songbird said...

You really DO have the strangest encounters.

b luis grey said...

I'm a NorthWesterner... We're not that backwards. Arkansas maybe but Washington and Oregon are filled with beautiful people. I'm staying away from nowhere Oregon unless I'm craving one of those hotdogs. It's got to be better than a NY hotdog though.

Joanie said...

There's just so much bad there...I'm wincing. And you wrote it so well.

Laoch of Chicago said...

Jalapeño hot dogs make it all worthwhile!

Anne said...

DREAM ON SISTER if you think there is ANY recognizable part of a cow in that hot dog you just purchased. You might as well have molded some of that meat pudding into a hot dog. :-) Don't get me wrong...I love my hot dogs, but I'm thinking there may be just too much reality in purchasing a hot dog from a butcher shop.

Captain Dumbass said...

Oh my.

Frau said...

OMG!!Gross!

WeaselMomma said...

That wasn't Big Foot they sighted, it was the butcher.

Gaston Studio said...

Priceless! And since I'm from Georgia where Deliverance was written and filmed about real people in the mountains... I love the graphic!

FC said...

Yikes! Money in her underwear?!? Yeah, that's a new one!
~ FC

Sue said...

Oh please let the underwear you are referring to be her bra or corset.

Cora said...

WHAT?!?! Which town in Oregon is this?! Remind me to never travel through it.

Kelly said...

Hilarious! Reminds me of road trips to East TX to visit family.

Gayle said...

No. I don't think the hot dogs were worth it. Ewww!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Yuck yuck yuck. I'm with Hit 40 on this one. Blow that popsicle joint and leave the dogs behind.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Was there a projector TV and recliner on the front porch?

Well, shit. We may be kin after all.

Organic Meatbag said...

Are you serious? This really happens??? And what, you don't dispense money from your underwear?? Hahaha!

kanishk said...

I will stick to the supposed civilization where I live, thanks.


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