When you FINALLY find the old family butcher shop, tucked in the middle of NOWHERE, OREGON, there are just a couple of sights that might shock you.
It won’t be the many ANIMAL HIDES hanging from various rusty nails throughout the tiny cavernous windy rooms that the store inhabits.
It won’t be the smell of freshly butchered, um, cow – I hope. I couldn’t quite tell WHAT meat it was as I peered through the somewhat cloudy and overloaded meat case.
It won’t be the HUGE fella behind the counter with a blood stained apron and what looks like a huge MEAT CLEAVER in his hands.
It won’t even be the sign on a large hunk of what appeared to be pate that said “PUDDING MEAT”. (Now THAT was appealing.)
The biggest shock? When you ask for change for a $20 and the woman reaches deeply into her UNDERWEAR to find her wad of cash.
“Um, well, never mind! NO!! I didn’t really need any.”
And don’t let the screen door hit you as you RUN from the store, holding your precious jalapeƱo hot dogs.
Wait, is that dueling banjos I hear????
66 comments:
I know you were in Oregon, but it made me remember that there was a Big Foot sighting not far from were you live in PA. No kidding. Yes, Paddle faster!
I think I would have left the hot dogs. Who knows where they decide to put the buns for warm, safe keeping. O.o
I sincerely hope it's her bra and not her knickers. No one wants change that comes from anywhere near her badly packed kebab!
Yikes!!
I just came by here after a recommendation from Pastor Sharon.
After reading this, I have suddenly become a vegetarian. Oh My! I can't stand the sight of raw meat or the touch of it. And when I got to the part about the money, I had to go "spit" and take a bath and wash my hands before I could come back and make a comment!
DON'T EAT THE HOT DOGS!
I will stick to the supposed civilization where I live, thanks.
L xx
-->At least you didn't ask for change for a dollar!
www.WebSavyMom.com
Ewwwww! When you say underwear please tell me you are talking about her bra!
You know I am so glad that it was you and not me. :)
Ominous banjo picking plays as I run screaming from your blog. Wait? What was that about feeling queasy over at my place ;-)
and you are feeling pretty lucky for having survived until you look at the half eaten hot dog in your hand and realise...she probably made the hotdogs after giving someone change...
I can think of no funnier retort than !
Mmmmmmmmmmm...pudding meat!
That's a scary movie... the toothless guy sort of reminds me of a few people in this area... OOPS... okay, Virginians.. just kidding,,, LOL (maybe)
Snappy Di
*LAUGHING!!!!*eyewwwww
My son lives in Portland, OR.....
gee thanks! i was just about to eat and now suddenly am not so hungry anymore.
Well you are in Oregon. Don't get angry now...I was born and raised in Oregon and couldn't wait to move.
Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)
Ewwwwwwwwwe!
I totally agree on the hotdogs though - there is nothing like natural casing hot dogs from the butcher shop. When I was a kid, the butcher always gave a raw one that we ate while our parents were ordering their meat for the month.
She pulled the change out of her KNICKERS?????
OMG, if I didn't know better, I'd say you'd met my sister.
Yeah, I have one of THOSE families.
Well, money is called green not only for its color, but for the fact that something green could possibly be on money taken from a person's crusty undies.
(I have no idea where I'm trying to go with this but I hope it grosses someone out.) ;)
Meat pudding, who wouldn't want some of that?
You just said jalapeno hot dogs and underwear in the same post. I don't know if I can survive that.
I would have said that I suddenly do not feel well. Please keep the hot dog and give me back the $20. This would have been a good day to diet.
Wow.
I WANT to have something to say...
I MEANT to say something...
But all I've got is...
Wow.
I was going to make a joke about JalapeƱo hot dogs coming from mexican bulls, but...nah, too easy.
I would be a little concerned about the origin and history of those hot dogs, however. Yikes.
And you still bought the hot dogs? Ewww! lol. Guess what I got in the mail today :-)
Yeahh, uhhh, that's why money can freak me out. I mean, I've heard my share of money falling in poopy toilets and the owner reaching down to retrieve it...
That brings a whole new meaning to the term "coin slot".
I'll pass.
When i was a kid growing up, my old small town butcher taught me to eat raw hamburger on saltine crackers.
I kid you not...
I'm willing to bet they are the best hotdogs you ever eat!
Small toen butchers are the best:)
This has to be the best diet plan I have ever tried. I just can't get the YUCK out of my head!
Hey, she had to put her quarters and dimes somewhere!
Maybe that pudding meat is the leftovers when customers hurl after getting change....
well durn, maw, thunk ye waz in kaintuck, there ;) lol
That is how she makes a living, without actually asking for tips!
OMG! How disgusting!
Just don't ask the cashier to "open the til". :-)
xoxo
You shore have a purty mouth & squeal like a pig.
That's all I got.
i have no words
Deliverance is the only movie I watched that literally made me sick. I threw up! When we moved to East Texas, Lurch and I kept humming Dueling Banjos! Lots of trees and backwoods folks! :(
Malisa
I can't stop laughing long enough to leave a comment. Beautiful, gorry post.
OH GOD! I was not expecting that!!! GROSS! I would have run as fast as I could to the nearest civilized town!
I thought this stuff only happened in movies!
I don't know if I would ever be able to eat pudding again...
Day-um! I hope she washes her hands before she serves up that meat pudding!
She is moonlighting as a pole dancer?
You really DO have the strangest encounters.
I'm a NorthWesterner... We're not that backwards. Arkansas maybe but Washington and Oregon are filled with beautiful people. I'm staying away from nowhere Oregon unless I'm craving one of those hotdogs. It's got to be better than a NY hotdog though.
There's just so much bad there...I'm wincing. And you wrote it so well.
JalapeƱo hot dogs make it all worthwhile!
DREAM ON SISTER if you think there is ANY recognizable part of a cow in that hot dog you just purchased. You might as well have molded some of that meat pudding into a hot dog. :-) Don't get me wrong...I love my hot dogs, but I'm thinking there may be just too much reality in purchasing a hot dog from a butcher shop.
Oh my.
OMG!!Gross!
That wasn't Big Foot they sighted, it was the butcher.
Priceless! And since I'm from Georgia where Deliverance was written and filmed about real people in the mountains... I love the graphic!
Yikes! Money in her underwear?!? Yeah, that's a new one!
~ FC
Oh please let the underwear you are referring to be her bra or corset.
WHAT?!?! Which town in Oregon is this?! Remind me to never travel through it.
Hilarious! Reminds me of road trips to East TX to visit family.
No. I don't think the hot dogs were worth it. Ewww!
Yuck yuck yuck. I'm with Hit 40 on this one. Blow that popsicle joint and leave the dogs behind.
Was there a projector TV and recliner on the front porch?
Well, shit. We may be kin after all.
Are you serious? This really happens??? And what, you don't dispense money from your underwear?? Hahaha!
I will stick to the supposed civilization where I live, thanks.
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