8/17/09

It's a nice day for a white wedding...


This is why I can't wait to go back to work...

My little friend Janie has been inviting kids to her wedding for about a week now. I decided it was time to have a class discussion, as it was happening during our whole group lessons on the carpet.

Me: "Janie, exactly what are you doing?"

Janie: "I am inviting people to my wedding to Johnny."

Me: "But, I thought you were marrying Jack."

Jack: "I decided I didn’t want to get married."

Me: "Good thinking, Jack. Now, Janie, back to the wedding, you DO know that we are not supposed to get married in kindergarten, right?"

Janie: "Well, my mom and dad got married when they were 3 and 2 years old."

Me: "I don’t think that was when the REAL wedding took place. But, you go ahead and ask them about that tonight."

Janie: "Actually, I am marrying Johnny AND Jack."

Me: Well, unless you live in Utah or Texas, I don’t think you can legally do that. "

Johnny: "HEY- Jack and I are making a run for it!"

Cassie: "And, another thing, Janie was kissing the wall…"

Sally: "She was practicing."


Me: "Listen carefully boys and girls. ONE – there are to be no weddings in kindergarten. TWO – there is no kissing in kindergarten. THREE – well, I can’t remember, but I’m sure I’ll think of a number three shortly.


Okay, now what were we learning about?"


72 comments:

Scope said...

We were learning that Janie will be trouble when she hits about 17!

that one girl said...

CLASSIC!!! I can't wait to hear the things my little one comes up with when she is able to talk...oh and btw...i saw you got a new coffee pot...you are officially dead to me....mine broke this morning

WeaselMomma said...

Good thing none of the kids had to bring a shotgun.

dizzblnd said...

so when is the appointment for the chastity belt fitting? Soon I hope. It should grow with her!

Life of a Stepmama said...

That is hilarious! Her parents better be keeping an eye out, where do kids come up with this stuff?

midlife slices said...

Texas?? Excuse me??? I think you have this state confused. Everything is bigger and better but we don't double dip.

Middle Aged Woman said...

The only marriage in my son's K class was when the kids decided to have a wedding for the letters Q and U, because they were always together anyway.

adrienne said...

There is no kissing in kindergarten...I was surprised to find myself saying that line a few times, too.

The Mind of a Mom said...

I remember when The girl was about 3 and she was going to marry "Ryan". Funny how little girls think marriage is a wonderful thing ~ thank goodness she is over that... LoL

Anne said...

Number 3 is that there will be none of that in FIRST GRADE either!

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Aw, makes me recall my elementary school crushes. They never liked me back, though.

Christy said...

Practicing kissing a wall! Hysterical! I love those kids!

mo.stoneskin said...

3) No kissing walls in kindergarden?
4) No alcohol in kindergarden
5) No smoking
6) No gambling

Tammy Howard said...

My daughter was a very vocal gay advocate in kindergarten. Our neighbors were gay and she was asking about families and one thing led to another and what she got from it was that girls could marry girls and that she could have a wedding and be a beautiful bride without bringing boys into the picture at all. The other girls all thought this was a great idea, too, when she talked it up big. I expected my phone to ring off the hook that night, but it didn't. :-)

Laoch of Chicago said...

: )

Keyona said...

Just goes to show that we have to watch what we say in front of them munchkins! LOL!

Rick Daley said...

So Jack and Johnny ran off together leaving Janie alone at the altar to either retaliate by hooking up with Cassie, or become the female version of the 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Kris said...

Haha so funny! I remember in elementary school having troll doll weddings (it was the 90's). My boy troll doll got married to this other girl's girl troll doll. Oh the things kids do! :o)

Fer*Cambe said...

No weddings in kindergarten what kind of cruel dictatorship are we running here Vodkamom...

Sandee said...

We are learning that Janie will be in trouble long before she's 17. Yikes that's some gal. The boys have it right though since they are making a run for it. Bwahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

loveandbooze said...

I remember getting married in the sand box. with a cheap ring that turned my finger green, shortly followed my a divorce!

*sigh* ahh... Those were the days...

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Oh no...that's too funny...

Alicia said...

lol...love it!! my 5 yr old son came home with a girls phone number last year....REALLY?????!!!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Three: Don't kiss walls in public. People will talk.

confused homemaker said...

It's about time the kids learn these things, what do you want them to until 1st grade or something?

Sprite's Keeper said...

That's it. I'm sending Sprite to you for a year when it's time for her to enter kindergarten. I hear the three year old room at her daycare has weekly weddings and she already calls this one kid her "boyfriend". Help!
xoxo

Brian Miller said...

thats awesome. logan got married a few times in k garten last year. ha.

Maggie said...

No kissing till your 30!! LOL!!

Travis Erwin said...

You just had to dis on Texas.

Captain Dumbass said...

"Get thee to a nunnery!"

only a movie said...

No kissing in Kindergarten? Sheesh, you guys in Oregon are so strict.

jen said...

i hope beyond all hope that stella's kindergarten teacher has as much fun as you do ...
3 full months of being away ... kinda makes you (shhh...) eager to get back to work and hear more kid-isms. i can't believe i just said that.
i have a truck full in my memory ... i swear i will write these down someday.
maybe this year.

The Peach Tart said...

That Janey is quite the fickle one. No wonder Jack Johnny and Jack made a run for it.

Suzy said...

They're growing them smarter and younger these days.

Mrs. C. said...

Jones kissed in kindergarten and had to pull a red safety card. In his defense, he was only kissing back...

buffalodick said...

At least she didn't wear leather! Didn't these kids used to be kids?

PippaD said...

The little ones in my daughters class like to play on the roundabout (Merry-go-round?) where they "age" up to a point where they can get married (whilst swinging round still) but they still run away from each other as soon as the ride is over!

Toni said...

You might want to tell Janie that practising kissing usually works on something softer than a wall! :-P

Sara said...

Good grief. You've got a future Mary Catherine Gallagher on your hands. She's not in trouble until she starts macking on trees.

Desert Songbird said...

Of course, by the time they reach fourth and fifth grade, the boys and girls won't have anything to do with each other, so the "wedding" problem goes away.

Hit 40 said...

Wouldn't it be fabulous if you got an invite for the real wedding?

Wifey said...

According to their timeline my 3rd grader should be divorced by now.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Lee Ryan said...

That doesn't sound too unusual. I'm waiting for the day when kindergarteners are cynical enough to include mistresses, minivans, lawyers and divorce court; a fifteen minute recess should be sufficient to take the marriage from endzone to endzone.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

And then what? They give up trying to have children after 6 hours and decide to adopt a baby from Mali because Janie can't get pregnant?

Jeanne said...

And no kissing walls! That's where wallflowers come from.

Lee Ryan said...

Plus - too much wall kissing and her classmates will not let her have a "white" wedding.

Diane J. said...

Hee, hee, hee. I'm loving this and all the replies just make it even funnier.

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

My how things have changed. I didn't get married until I was in fourth grade! I was chosen as the bride because my name was the same as the groom's mother.

Pastor Sharon said...

I remember when I was in Kindergarten. Our class had 26 children. We all came and sat in a great big circle of chairs. I would go around the room picking out each little boy I was going to marry.

By first grade, one of them chased me all over the play ground everyday giving me kisses (on the cheek). I think i got married five times on the play ground that year.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

"Johnny: "HEY- Jack and I are making a run for it!" --

Hoo-boy! What a perfectly innocent, endearing, normal comment for a child to make.

But just you wait, Vodka Mom. Before you can say "BOO!" some parent will soon be after you, demanding to know why you introduced (or allowed to be introduced) the subject of gay marriage (partnerships?) into the classroom.

This, I know from experience.

So I hope you'll say BOO right back the SOB!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

"Johnny: "HEY- Jack and I are making a run for it!" --

Hoo-boy! What a perfectly innocent, endearing, normal comment for a child to make.

But just you wait, Vodka Mom. Before you can say "BOO!" some parent will soon be after you, demanding to know why you introduced (or allowed to be introduced) the subject of gay marriage (partnerships?) into the classroom.

This, I know from experience.

So I hope you'll say BOO right back the SOB!

Moonlight Hollow Musings said...

"Unless you live in Utah or Texas"...Ha!

Malisa

katydidnot said...

oh my good lord.

SkylersDad said...

You know I still kiss the wall, and it is surprisingly good!

trash talk said...

In Texas only men can have more than one bride...and that's only in Waco! All the others have just one wife...and maybe a girlfriend.
I think they would make a lovely trio...it's always nice to have a spare groom!
Debbie

Brenda Susan said...

Better watch that little janie-girl! Dangerous! Sounds like how my mom says I was!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

"Me: Well, unless you live in Utah or Texas, I don’t think you can legally do that. "

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, you got us there!

Scope said...

Thanks for the sidebar link!

And today, is kind of school related, too.

Jennifer Juniper said...

My 4 year old niece invited me to her wedding to a nice boy named "Malfoy" (he's invisible and she claims he looks nothing like the boy in Harry Potter). She invited me via pink Barbie cell phone.

She likes to practice being married...this involves a lot of practice bitching at the wall. Well, at least she's got that part right.

Rachel Cotterill said...

When I was in Reception class (age 4-5) my school decided that there was going to be a wedding. When they asked the girls who wanted to be the bride, only two of us didn't put our hands up - so, of course, they picked me :(

♥ Braja said...

Great, so now I'm singin' whatsisname's "Nice Day for a White Wedding.." Billy Idol...yeah....that's him....

Michel said...

Great! So now they're going to elope and you're going to have to explain to their parents why you wouldn't allow the traditional courtship period of 19 years to continue.

There might have been CAKE! What is WRONG WITH YOU!?

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

This is hilarious! The kissing the wall for practice and making a run for it really make the story. You really make teaching kindergarten sound like fun!

Meandering Mel said...

Things have changed a little in Utah... (Unless you're one of the weird FLDS who make up their own damn rules.)

Hahaha, it really is funny what kids come up with. :)

peewee said...

WHAT? No kissing and Marrying in kindergarten?? First no homemade cupcakes and now this?!?! Geez. Kids just can't be kids anymore!

Hit 40 said...

No new post :-( Blogger must be off for you or school (your real job) is getting in the way.

See you soon xxxooo

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I bet you never thought you'd have to say "No wedding in kindergarten!"

Crys said...

That's funny. The boys had the right idea.

SweetPeaSurry said...

Well at least in Kinnegarten you don't have to worry about 'shotgun' weddings.

I remember playing wedding when I was younger though. I'm pretty sure I married every boy on the block, I was a hussy that way. He he he!

blessings!

Cora said...

My daughter was like that in kindergarten too - verrrrrry popular with all the boys, kissing them all at recess etc. I thought to myself 'oh sh!t - what'll happen in middle school and high school?! Will she be THAT girl?!' But nah. She's in middle school now and she thinks all the boys are idiots and walks around with her nose in a book 24/7. YES!!!!

AS Amber said...

Geeeeeez!!! What the hell CAN you do in kindergarten?

And I would just like to thank "Meandering Mel" for getting Utah's back! It's not legal here, either, y'know! Just the crazy people pretending to be Mormons do it. Not the reals ones. Just sayin'.

No kissing the wall...that's too funny.

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