9/23/09

Here we go again...


Dear Golden Boy,

Now that you are in the middle school, I expect you to do several things yourself. FIRST, remember your &$@& homework! You are no longer in a building where your mother has a key to enter at all hours of the night to retrieve a stray paper here and there that you might have forgotten.

SECOND? I refuse to email your new teacher ONE MORE TIME. If you can’t get your act together at the end of each day to bring home what you need, you’re gonna have to pay that piper yourself. My piper coins are ALL USED UP.


Yeah, about that yelling match last night? If you EVER talk to me like that again, I will smack you so far into next week that you won’t even know what DAY IT IS.


And when I say, “Please get out your backpack and do your homework.” You better say “How high??”



I have a headache.



Love, mom

92 comments:

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

It is way too early in the school year for this level of frustration, isn't it? At this rate, I'd suggest buying stock in Stoli RIGHT now so you can at the very least benefit monetarily from the vodka consumption in your future.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Wait a second.... did I honestly just get the first comment in on this post??? I can't believe it! I'm doing a little happy dance over here in England just for YOU, Vodkamom!!

Scope said...

Well, you wanted his older sisters to be role models fro the boy...

Alix said...

Oh no! Not a smidge of tarnish on GB! I want to cry for some reason.

"How High?" LOL Hilarious.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Is he too young to pour you a drink?

Vodka Logic said...

Do you have cameras in my house?

Yvonne said...

awhhh, remembering THAT transition with fear and trembling! Middle school brings a whole lot of DIFFERENT circumstances.

Like

Girls...

and hormones!

I started talking about how the zipper worked and that it should stay UP! haha
except to pee!

Rick Daley said...

My kids are in kindergarten and second grade, so we are still spoon fed homework by the teachers. I know eventually this will change, and frankly, I can wait.

FRANNIE said...

I remember yelling...'You have ONE folder, put EVERYTHING in the ONE folder!!'

8th Grade and he still can't find anything. GGAAHHHH!!!!

Where are the olives? It's five o'clock somewhere.

Keyona said...

Sassy: Where's golden boy?

Vodka Mom: I slapped him into next week, he'll be back on Tuesday!

LOL!!

Keyona said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lucia said...

Vodka mom...I'm right there with you...where's my clamato I could use a ceasar!

Deb Thaxton said...

-->Oh no, Golden Boy better get it together before he gets a new nickname too. Good luck!
~deb
www.websavymom.com

Wendy said...

OMG You where so at my house last night!

Scobberlotcher said...

I see what I have to look forward to in a few years. I love how my kids think the floor is the best place for a backpack. :)

phd in yogurtry said...

I feel your headache pain, VM. I, too, have a homework forgetter, a book misplacer, a leave-my-stuff-everywhere child. Since she takes after her scatter-brained mom, I'm not a lot of help where modeling desirable behavior is concerned. eep. make that, bleep.

CSY said...

you know, I had this very same argument with my middle schooler...the difference? Mine is a GIRL! Oh I am SO not looking forward tot he rest of this year. Love you, VM!

Under the Influence said...

My middle schooler had the audacity to text me this morning telling me to bring him his book and he even gave me a deadline time. My response? "I can't."

We'll see how it goes when he gets home.

Ice Queen said...

Golden Boy was yelling? I refuse to believe it. The world must be ending.

dizzblnd said...

Already? Usually I don't have that shouting match with "The Boy" until at least the 3rd month of school.

I say you smack him on a daily basis just for general purposes. When he asks what was that for.. you can simply reply "for being a male"

Good luck sista!

Craig Glenn said...

I donnot get it. I nevver lessoned to my parants and I nevver did anny of my home work and I turnned out just fin.

Craig

CatLadyLarew said...

Let the games begin! Bwahaha!

Mary Anne said...

Oh, it is WAY too early for this, and I'm having the same battle with The Girl. She BEGGED to keep up with her keyboard lessons, and then BEGGED to add violin at school (which hasn't even started yet) and PROMISED to practice without whining. I thought my head was going to explode last night after the fourth or fifth time I reminded her to practice and hearing "But I'm so tiiiiirrrreeed."

Mrs. D said...

Tell him he's in middle school now and it's time to man up!

Kris said...

oh boy...

Anne said...

My "Ruined" one... the youngest girl sounds like she could be related to GB. -A younger first grade version... loses $%!^ all the time... have to call her teacher... my girls are at my school too... except for the middle school one... she's graduated from me... but at least she is the responsible one. (so far)

KJ said...

HUH...I never read "stuff about you" and assumed you just had the 2 girls...now, that I know you have a boy too...I see how we are so alike! (And what I have to look forward too...) HA!

Kathy B! said...

I have one who just started middle school as well. It's a pretty big kick in the crotch!

for a different kind of girl said...

It's like you're standing in my kitchen! This discussion happens in my house every morning before my son heads out to the middle school, and is repeated every afternoon/evening when we do the rundown of what he's forgotten, what he needed, how he had to be responsible, on and on and on. One month into the school year and I'm exhausted already!

Brian Miller said...

lol. what week of school are you in? middle school is definitely a different animal all together. i definately dont look forward to this. how high, lol.

TexasRed said...

Guh! sounds like the beginning of a long year. Hoping for the best.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Next week, eh?

So, is it a back-handed slap? How far do I have to lean back before swinging?

that one girl said...

OH VODKA MOM...DO I HAVE THE MOST PERFECT POST FOR YOU ON MY BLOG TO-DAY.

i promise you - read it. thank me later.

Julie said...

My baby started college today. Sigh.

Yo is Me said...

AAAARRRRGHHH!!! it KILLS me!! why don't they turn in their homework?? WHYYYYYY???? it's finished! it's complete!! TURN THE THING INNNNN!!!!

and signed forms? nice. you turned in the football form, but you didn't turn in any other form. how did THAT happen?

whew. thank you. i needed that.

Sue said...

Oh, how I so do "NOT" miss those days! Good luck with Golden Boys new school year! I remember the days of driving all over the neighborhood chasing my own Golden Boy down because he had an orthodonsist appointment he didn't want to go to. Of course, he if a bracket broke on his braces, he would just remove them with plyers! Again, I so do "NOT" miss those days! Take care.

Cookie Crums said...

And here I though preschool was rough! :)

Secretia said...

Like you say, repetition is the only way to train the children. Eventually they will learn anything if it's put in fron of them enough times.

Secretia

The Good Cook said...

Why are you taping my conversations with my children?

Gayle said...

Teachers hate me.

Bernie said...

I haven'theard the phrase " hit you into next week" for so long. One of my friends used to say that all the time and maybe I did too. Sometimes it was to New York. Sounds like life goes on much as it did back in my century. I loved it.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

My eldest is in 8th grade this year and he doesn't care too much about homework and all that, more like he comes home and starts acting as though he's my hubs and telling me what to do. And then rolls his eyes when I remind him who the heck he's talking to. I smacked mine up the side of the head last night, and he got all big eyed and stared at me like "OH!!" I think I'm gonna do that more often, maybe once a day just to keep him on his toes and see how fast he can duck......lol

Cora said...

Yup. Kids. Somehow I think they're all cut from the same cloth, don't you?

Kathryn Magendie said...

Lawdy - those days are over for me - mine is 30 and married and expecting a first - yayyyy! yayyyy! *laughing*

Love this from below:

"Those obstacles and tragedies -- they don’t make you who you are, they REVEAL who you are."

WeaselMomma said...

Parenting joy. I got tired of being called from the classroom "Mom, I forgot my _____, can you bring it to me.
I brought it to him, but wearing a bathrobe and pig tails and gave him a big smooch while waving to all of the 6th grade class. Problem solved.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Golden Boy, you better do what she says. I'm just reading it and I feel like I'M being lectured! She's that good!

Michel said...

reason number 452 for me not to have kids. Thank you!

Char said...

oooh, and black and blue does not look good with golden--even if its into next week. LOL

The Peach Tart said...

Oh honey I remember those days. I feel for you but they will pass except then the spawn turn into teenagers which is worse. Perhaps you should buy some Vodka stock.

mo.stoneskin said...

Take him out of school and put him to work in the fields?

Lynn said...

Exhausting!
Those days!

Captain Dumbass said...

I saw some foreshadowing of that last night. It wasn't pretty.

Suzy said...

It is time to start packing a flask into their lunches.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Wait a minute? Is MY son living at YOUR house?? I thought he was off at college, but clearly you are describing him to a T...
Wish I could say it gets better. He's almost 22.

Desert Songbird said...

*heavy sigh*

I feel your pain. Every bit of it. We could trade sons and not even notice a difference.

*heavy sigh*

Ambiance in the Attic said...

Me too, me too with a 6th grader. In fact we just had another teacher conference today about lost homework. He was also coming to class late and spending too much time away from class to use the bathroom. We found out he even told a couple of teachers he ad a medical problem and needed surgery. That's whay he was so long in the bathroom.
What next?

Expat mum said...

It seems to take them forever to adjust to middle school doesn't it? My middle schooler is still trying to convince himself and everyone else that school hasn't really started up again. Grr.

Oh My Goddess said...

Ugh!

Steven Anthony said...

ha...arggg ;) how high;)

Not The Rockefellers said...

Sing out Sista!

Do I ever know this song...
I am also the world's most annoying cuckoo clock

Is your homework done? How 'bout that homework? Squawk!!

It's all about the time management with my kid.

Peace - Rene

staceyjwarner said...

Yeah, I've had days like that with a six year old...my main battle? -His Room! Thanks for making me laugh.

Lisa said...

He lives at our house, too. I got a call from his language arts teacher today. Friday's paper wasn't turned in. I'm sure it's not done yet. I can hear the XBox live through the floor. Time to go do my mother duty, I guess.

Maggie said...

oh my procrastination and forgetfulness. *sighs* too many kids have it and it is only the beginning of the school year!

WhisperingWriter said...

Oh man, he sounds like my son.

My son is started to get an attitude. If I tell him no, he's all, "I'm not your son anymore."

Susan said...

Um, how high does he usually have to get before doing his homework? This middle school thing is getting more intriguing all the time.

Scandalous Housewife said...

This sounds way too familiar! My now 15 year old son knows that when I threaten a "Mama Beat Down", he better bust a move!

Jeanne said...

Different kid, same conversation?

lakeviewer said...

I would have loved having parents like you when I taught middle schoolers. Way to go!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Oh, how many "if you EVER"s I've issued in my time!

Zen Mama said...

When my oldest son started middle school, the Principal called a meeting to tell those of us who were new to the middle school years, "get ready for your precious little golden children to fall off their collective pedestals."

Man, was she ever right.

She also said, let them fail - do not rescue or hound them to do their homework. Middle school doesn't count but the lessons learned in personal responsibility will carry them through when it does.

Hard to do but I'm sure with enough Vodka, you'll manage!

I'm a big fan!

Donna said...

Let me know how that works out for you, cuz it's not working for me and my Jr Hi boy. If you find the magic cure, TELL US!

Joanie M said...

I am SO glad I'm past all that crap!

And I have an empty nest!

Did that sound like gloating? um... yeah, maybe a little.

sorry.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

"so far into next week"

My mom used to say that. Just remembered when I read that.

Mainly a midwife said...

I'm trying to start that personal responsiblity stuff with my 1st grader (remember your water bottle at soccer, turn in your homework folder, where is your NEW coat, where is your lunchbox). Sometimes I feel like I'm being too hard on him.

SSP said...

i had a kid show up to rehearsal today without script - we have been rehearsing 3 days.....his excuse? he forgot it!! Man I WISH i could have slapped him into next week but I need him here tomorrow and Saturday too.....and I bet since he isn't my own kid, he;d report me and get me fired...little pecker head.....

♥ Braja said...

Did you know, vodka is REALLY good for headaches? :)))

flutter said...

wait, he has to be high to do home work?

Mrs. E said...

On the teacher end, I hate waiting for some poor soul to dig through the backpack to find one sheet of paper, wadded beyond recognition, buried on the bottom and only half complete. I can't tell you how many detentions have been spent cleaning a backpack and getting all the class papers in the correct folder. *sigh*
Pass the vodka.

Hit 40 said...

My kids both love their homework. I just need to get my youngest in the shower more often!!!

Melissa B. said...

I'm of the same mind, too. They need to learn to get their own acts together, don't they? I teach high school kids, and I still get apology e-mails from parents. What's going to happen when the kids go to college?

Elizabeth said...

I guess this is what I have to look forward to at the moment - my munchkin is still a toddler, so my biggest gripes are that he thinks 5:30 is an acceptable hour to wake up (it's not!) and that he seems to be boycotting eating meat. Stopping by from SITS this morning, have a great day!

kanishk said...

Not a smidge of tarnish on GB! I want to cry for some reason.
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Kate Coveny Hood said...

I dread this... Especially the homework part. I hated doing my own homework. Monitoring someone else's holds no appeal for me.

Gaston Studio said...

That's telling him!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Oh, Golden Boy better rope up!

Joanie said...

Have you been listening in on the convo I've been having with Little Dude? Seriously, the kid is driving me nuts with all the incomplete assignments and teachers calling, emailing me. And his dad hasn't helped much.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

Laoch of Chicago said...

Your son is involved in a small power struggle with you. The only way to really win in the end is not to play. You explain to him that his school life is his own. Nothing will happen to you if he does badly, he will only be hurting himself. In the future you will not get his assignments, do his homework or cover for him. He is on his own there. If he really believes this he may in fact surprise you and do much better.

D said...

And lastly, don't stand in the middle of the living room with your eyes shut screaming at the top of your lungs that you can't find your back pack and are going to miss the buss. Open your @#$% eyes and LOOK for the @#$%ing thing, then haull @$$ to the busstop or you're walking across town, over the river, and thru the woods to school.

Flashbacks to being a nanny for my neice and nephew. Sorry.

Sparkless said...

LOL!! Oh I so know your pain. Here they have cut out the middle school so kids go straight from elementary to high school in grade 8. Can you imagine that!
The teachers are supposed to post homework online for parents and kids to check but seems most of the teachers don't get to it until a week or two later. Grrrr!

justlori2day said...

you, me? Parallel universe. OY!

Mrs. K said...

so it gets worse? 4th grade is kicking my ass (with arguments and such coming from my snarky one)

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