9/10/09

Sewing is not good for your health


Dear Sassy,


I don't care HOW many goals your score or HOW many games you win, there comes a time when you need to turn your brain on and THINK.

When I come home from a LONG day in kindergarten, and an even LONGER night of meetings, do you think I'm in the mood to HEM A PAIR OF PANTS? Have you forgotten that my idea of hemming involves duct tape and scissors? Surely there is SOMETHING in your closet you can wear to dress up before an away game- can't you rifle through Bitchy's stuff she that left here when she moved on campus?

Also, can we PLEASE remember to do all the laundry that you need for the game at least a DAY before??? Running the washer and dryer at midnight is not something I wanted to be doing on this first full week of kindergarten. (Have I told you I have 25 students? Have I told you that five don't speak English? Have I told you I told you that my feet hurt?)

Oh, and please tell your little brother that interjecting the fact that he left ALL of his homework at school during our little screaming match did not improve my mood. I'm sure I didn't mean to bite his head off, and if we look very, very hard we might find it before school this morning.


Yeah, it's a new year- but it's the same old crap all over again.



Now, can anyone out there sew??????

79 comments:

slouchy said...

oh dear oh dear oh dear. if it's any comfort, things are as chaotic over here. everyone's cranky...

♥ Braja said...

Can't the MAID do it??
:)

lisa said...

This sounds all too familiar. :)) Now that she's a Field Hockey star, she can delegate hemming to the "little people."

Lori said...

Ah, the familiar sound of "love is in the air" during back to school transition. Something we all look forward to each year.

Michele said...

Isn't there a Bible verse about teaching a man to fish? Maybe it's time to teach a girl to sew...do her own laundry...cook...and most important...make a decent vodka martini.

Em said...

Two words baby: Liquid Stitch

It's like Super Glue for clothes.

Awesomeness.

mo.stoneskin said...

It's a new year? Bloody hell, I thought it was September. And while you're mending hers would you be able to mend mine too? Duct tape would do fine, I'd be happy with that.

dizzblnd said...

Sew?? What are you nuts? That involves sharp objects, patience and co-ordination. The first object, I am not allowed to posses. I simply do not have patience OR co-ordination needed to perform such a horrid task. Sorry 'bout your luck.

Did you find your sons head yet? If not, I have one laying around here somewhere. LOL

Rick Daley said...

I can so...so what!

Tortuga said...

Sounds like my house last night. 9:30 and my dear daughter decided to inform me that she had unfinished homework.

Grrr....

Tammy Howard said...

Back to school! Yay!

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Just be glad she's wearing clothes. Things could be worse - you could be this girl's mom...

Scope said...

I think Golden Boy was trying to take one for the team, and save his sister in your little discussion. He was trying to be a galant knight.

Does that spin help any?

Organic Meatbag said...

Kindergarten? Wow, you really DO need that vodka!

Melinda said...

Hand her a bottle of Mighty Mendit and tell her to do it herself.

The Peach Tart said...

I definitely say duct tape

Adriana said...

You need to buy the iron on stuff. Fusible interfacing or something. It works wonders and even a teenager can manage it.

Cora said...

Pfffft! Forget sewing, I'm liking the duct tape idea - waaaaayyyyyy less time consuming.

And as for the non-English speaking students, I've been there. I used to be a pre-school teacher and I had a set of twins enrolled who only spoke Spanish and had never sat at a table to eat (their mom found it less messy to have them stand in front of her with their mouths open like baby birds while she placed little pieces of food into their mouths for them.) That was quite a year. Best of luck to you!

Angie Ledbetter said...

I sew with your method of scissors and duct tape, plus the use of the stapler now and then. If desperate, there's a little laundry place that does alterations down the street.

PS Your check for the birthday horn tootin' is in the mail along with the gumbo on dry ice. Hope B&S don't get to the mail first! :D Thanks for putting my ugly mug up on your sidebar!

Elaine said...

Is this the same Sassy that made you cry (along with Bitchy) with the wonderful birthday surprise just a few short days ago?? I guess they were not short days, right? Bless you!

Middle Aged Woman said...

I'm not much for sewing, but I'm hell at whacking. Send me the kids.

Alix said...

Oh VM, you do make me giggle. I so wish I could write poignant letters to my kids the way you write yours. They are so lucky.

Ever find that head?

Lisa@Pickles and Cheese said...

I hate repair sewing! If a button falls off more than likely that garment is headed to the Goodwill. Fabric glue is a wonder product but I am not pulling it out at midnight either! So funny and familiar. Thanks for the laugh!

Sprite's Keeper said...

I can't sew, but thanks for the duct tape idea!
xoxo

phd in yogurtry said...

Dressing up before away games? What is that about? We just wore our uniforms and sweat cover ups.

I CAN hem pants but it's one of my least favorite things to do. (If she can swing a hockey stick and score goals while she's at it, she can hem pants, too.)

Christy said...

I can't sew either - I'm so jealous of these people who can, and who make beautiful clothes for themselves...glad you're loving your class this year!

CK Lunchbox said...

Two words: Fabric glue

Deb Thaxton said...

-->I used to duct tape the hem of my school uniform A LOT back in the day. To the point, it was ironed each week as well.

http://www.websavymom.com

buffalodick said...

I'm handy with Duct tape, and know how to operate a safety pin... after that- not so much..

Mommaloo said...

It's so nice to know that someone else's house sounds like mine!

Zip n Tizzy said...

I know how to sew, but even I hate sewing a hem!!!

Se habla Espanol? Or Mandarin, or Cantonese, or Tagalog???

Frau said...

Staples....or duct tape! Who sews today?? NOBODY! Good Luck maybe there sound be lunch time cocktails in your school this year.

Babe in Babeland said...

Sewing is no fun...I WISH I was good at sewing, but I'm not. One day. Ha. And maybe one day I'll learn how to knit and crochet, too. But not likely!

Steven Anthony said...

stich witchery...all u need is a hot iron...always works for me:) its like sewing for dummies

Ekanthapadhikan said...

I can't sew either and I don't have children to be sent to school. But ye. The duct tape idea sounds good.

Ekanthapadhikan said...

Hi! I'd like yo know your thought on this - http://truthabtmeself.blogspot.com/2009/09/new-face-of-hiduism.html

Brian Miller said...

i remember trying to learn to sew...luckily i still have all my fingers. lol.

Vodka Logic said...

We have a great tailor in town and he isn't too expensive.He could use the business he has two sets of twin. Email me if you or anyone wants the number... lol

xx

Christine said...

Can't sew but I can do wonders with a safety pin and a stapler.

darsden said...

hem tape that can be ironed is my best friend :-)

Madge said...

i sew. but let me tell you. my two have been home sick ALL WEEK. today they are well enough to do make up homework.

i. am. going. to. kill. them.

Madge said...

i sew. but let me tell you. my two have been home sick ALL WEEK. today they are well enough to do make up homework.

i. am. going. to. kill. them.

Desert Songbird said...

Well, I don't work outside the home, but I DO volunteer at school three days a week (sometimes four), and I'm a PTSA committee chairperson, so I feel SOME of your pain. Luckily for me, I've been back at it for four weeks now, so I've had some time to adjust. Already, though, we've had misplaced homework, forgotten tennis shoes for PE (twice), and an absence day due to illness. Ugh. Another year, same ol', same ol'.

Sue said...

I made curtains once with a stapler! It worked quite well, I don't have the patience to sew! I love the washing machine wars at your house, brings back such fond memories of my own children attempting to kill each other as they bounced off the washer and dryer! Take care.

Sue said...

I made curtains once with a stapler! It worked quite well, I don't have the patience to sew! I love the washing machine wars at your house, brings back such fond memories of my own children attempting to kill each other as they bounced off the washer and dryer! Take care.

Sue said...

I made curtains once with a stapler! It worked quite well, I don't have the patience to sew! I love the washing machine wars at your house, brings back such fond memories of my own children attempting to kill each other as they bounced off the washer and dryer! Take care.

SkylersDad said...

Can't swe, but I can sure as hell Do Re Mi!!

Notes from Noël said...

You have such an exciting life! We use a stapler for curtains, pants, etc. but Em left a suggestion to use Liquid Stitch. I will definitely check it out.

How many more days of school left??

Expat mum said...

Here - pass them this way. You may not get them back for a week but I can sew!

Sue said...

I can sew if you want me to visit, however, I do like the quick and effectiveness of duct tape and scissors!

Sorry about Golden Boy's head. That will teach him not to forget his homework!

Jen said...

I can sew, but I don't hem pants! Pain in the patootie! Take 'em to the cleaner, they usually do that...

Anna See said...

will sticky tack work???

we're trying to get our groove over here, too without my killing anyone.

Crazy Charm said...

I agree with the stapler suggestion. It worked wonderfully when I blew my pants out last year...both times :)

anymommy said...

I detest sewing. Aaaaand, I'm out.

Mrs. E said...

You poor thing. Man, that brings back memories...dress clothes before games and doing wash late at night so the uniforms were ready. argh! Are all kids the same??
The idea of 5 non English speakers in a K class of 25 is too many...too many kids, too many ESL. I have no complaints on my end. I'll send good thoughts your way!

KMcJoseph said...

Electrical tape...

fixes anything!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Give that girl a stapler and a big box of Tide. It's called the wardrobe survival kit.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Isn't it lovely....
chipped away at, all day, by 25 little hammers
only to come home to an axe throwing contest?

This world is your world, this world is my world......( sing it :) )

Peace - Rene

Beth said...

If duct tape can't fix it, it can't be fixed.

A Mom on Spin said...

Isn't that what God made staplers for????

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I can NOT picture you in all of these arguments with your kids. I can't! After talking with you, you don't seem to have the temperament to argue with a teenager like that.

This is all a fake blog, isn't it?

:)

Annie said...

Ugh. I hate to hem. I'd take 'em to the cleaners, though she didn't allow time for that, did she? Second best choice - in a fabric store, you can buy double-sided fabric tape, and even GLUE! Wonderful stuff in a pinch.

Nicole said...

Damn kids, they think we are supermoms or something.

WE CANT DO EVERYTHING, WE DONT HAVE AN EXTRA ARM GROWING FROM SOMEWHERE AND WE DO SLEEP!!!

I hope your weekend is relaxing and next week goes better. I have a contest going, stop by and enter. If you win it might make you feel better :)

Joanie said...

I can sew, but I'm afraid I'm a bit too far away to be of any help.

Wild Child said...

Someday, when she has a kindergartener and sees how those kids run that teacher ragged (no matter how cute they are they have way too much energy), she will appreciate you and all you did, while teaching kindergarten.

Respect for the kindergarten teachers.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Duct tape!?! I never thought of that :-)
xo

Anne said...

I sew. I hate to hem ~ however let me add that day 8 of my first year in first grade ALMOST PUT ME OVER THE EDGE. -I didn't know they wouldn't know what a plus and a minus were. -I didn't know they would be physically UNABLE to NOT squeeze my guinea pig water bottle ANY TIME they walk past. -I didn't know that wee little ones could be capable of down-right-all-out meanness. I am sure tomorrow will be better. I still think I will love it... but hell yea, I'll sew for you if you come take over these damn Kindergarten Graduates!

flutter said...

*raises hand*

Barrie said...

I'm a big believer in the hot glue gun.

Jen said...

I am totally getting you from the other side of the ditch here - i have a 'bitchy' (17) AND a 'sassy' (15) - and they have a 'little brother'(9).

I get you

I dont hem either - staples. can be your best friend.

have you got any other suggestions for surviving other then vodka??

dana said...

I still re-run my yearly 9/11 tribute post to my husband and all firefighters. It still has all the ORIGINAL comments from my readers and you are there. It's kind of a trip down memory lane for all of us, and I invite readers to continue to leave comments, year after year, as a type of "blogger reunion".

just making my way said...

Tell Sassy to invest in some double stick tape. Stuff is magic! And clearly would save our VM some not needed headaches...

Secretia Teller said...

Yes a nice vodka sounds good after work. I respect teachers!

Secretia Teller

Sara J. Henry said...

I can sew, but have stapled hems or used duct tape in a pinch.

Vodka Mom, you must enter this contest over at Quinn Cumming's blog - I can't wait to read your entry.

All you have to do is answer the question What should couples do to determine compatibility before actually dating? Best answer wins a free signed copy of the book - open to overseas entrants as well!

Gayle said...

I think the washer must lull them to sleep because I am forever washing a nasty uniform of some sort late at night. Have another vodka. Honestly, 25 kids and 5 don't speak English? Are you insane?

KJ said...

Wow! 75 comments on sewing? You hit the jackpot!

How about my 7th grader this morning she gets out the syrup, waffles and butter ...sets them on the counter... and says, "Mom, can you make me my waffles?" Really? You can do every thing but run the toaster? Hmmm..we are having toaster 101 this weekend!

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Hey... are we the same person? Because aside from the kindergarten teacher part, I am pretty sure you're me.

Secretia Teller said...

How can it be possible to teach non-english speaking children at the same time as the rest? Does that make 20 kids who don't listen and 5 who can't? Good luck!

Secretia

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