Tightwad + Sick Golden Boy = A M.E. S. S.
Note to Self:
When Tightwad offers to stay home with what we THOUGHT was a very sick Golden Boy, you might want to leave this list.
1. Do NOT let him go anywhere NEAR a phone. Odds are great that he will call me 26 times during the day; once during our morning centers to tell me that he just saw a slicer/dicer that doubles as a juicer on the Food Network that would be PERFECT for me. (The upside is- this class can now sing and dance to the first two verses of Beyonce’s “Put a Ring On It”.)
2. Do not let him drink RED raspberry tea in his room where he MIGHT spill the WHOLE MUG on his off-white carpet. (Yeah, I know. Ten years ago I was stupid.) Oh, and don’t let him leave the carpet cleaner by the front door, I might get suspicious.
3. Make sure that ONE of you boneheads puts the dogs out when you’re home. (I now understand why the carpet cleaner is by the front door. They don’t call me Vodkamom for nothing. And can’t anyone light a candle in here for God’s sake?)
4. Venture upstairs from the basement at least ONCE during the day to witness the carnage/tornado/explosion that was caused by one sick boy. And a naughty, naughty dog.
5. Sick, smick. Did we even take his temp this morning?
That’s all I can think of for now, but don’t worry – it’s only 5:00 and I haven’t even VENTURED downstairs.
I’m a little afraid.
(And had I known he was staying an extra DAY, I wouldn’t have had that little going away party for him last night after that kids went to bed. And by going away party, oh, well, never mind. I’m too tired to explain.)