Um, What did you Say?

This was an email I received from a fifth grade teacher friend this morning!

I was teaching the 5th graders about the systems of the human body. Our focus was the digestive system. I asked the kids to explain the beginning of the digestion process. One student raised her hand and explained that she believed the brain was the beginning because the brain is in charge of our senses.

She said that when you see and/or smell food, your mouth waters.

I said, "That is exactly right. The extra saliva in your mouth aids in mastication. Who can tell me what mastication is?"

A very bright fifth grade boy raised his hand and excitedly said, "I know what masturbation is, Mrs. Lee!!"

There was a bit of puzzled silence and he raised his hand again and said, "But I don't know what that has to do with the digestive system."

(From the "lost files". I'm still reeling from my meeting with a MEDUIM yesterday. I'll share more when I have my wits about me. Are they for real? whew. For those of you who've been out of town, here's Sassy's update.)


mo.stoneskin said...


mo.stoneskin said...

That was actually just me trying to claim first spot.


And succeed. Give me a medal.

It is very hard to use 'mastication' in any context without causing some confusion or at least slight smiles. I suggest the word gets scrapped.

The Fit Dad said...

That's what happens when you teach sex ed right before you talk about mastication...

Cowguy said...

LOL that's pretty much awesome, and 10 bonus points for the kids follow up.

SpoiledBrat said...

that's funny!

Sara said...

Oh man, 5th graders are awesome. And scary.

Julie said...

Ahahahahahaha....love that kid!

3 Men and a Lady said...

Oooh I can't wait to hear about the medium thing!! Tell us today, please!!

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Aw, 5th graders. That last year of childhood innocence before everything becomes so "cool."
Can't wait to hear about the medium. I've been wanting to do this forEVER!
A little scared too...

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Hmmm, mastication.....masturbation they do sound alike and I am sure there is some perverse way to make them be synonymous. Nevermind.

Rebecca Nazar said...

*spews coffee* Priceless! I'll chortle when I tinkle today.

Mercy said...

That is too good. Kids know a little too much these days.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I think I would have been in tears trying to hold back the burst of laughter...

SkylersDad said...

I have been wondering what that has to do with digestion for years.

Carolyn...Online said...

Oh my god I'm mortified for the kid that just said that out loud in class.

plo said...

of course a 5th grad boy knows what masturbation is! ha!

Gaston Studio said...

OMG, LMAO at this one! Agree with Mo, we should just drop the word mastication!

Gaston Studio said...

Can't wait to hear what the medium said; hope he/she was a really good one!

Brian Miller said...

lol. a good friend of mine aspired to be a preacher, so one day they allowed him to speak to the elementary kids...it was all about fornication...and by the end they all raised their hands as guilty...yep, it wasnt what he thought it was...but it definitely changed some lives that day...

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Yikes. It's lunch time. Time to go and...uh...masticate in the faculty lunch room.

CatLadyLarew said...

Mastication vs. masturbation... both fun activities.

Frau said...

Love it! Can't wait to hear about what the Medium had to say I so believe in all this!

Kate Hanley said...

Too precious. Sounds like something I would have said at that age (I wasn't the brightest kid on the block).

Masala Chica said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Secretia said...

Lucky for you and the class that he "raised" his hand,not "lowered" it!


WeaselMomma said...

Tell your friend to start a blog called The 5th Grade Follies!

Suzy said...

Stop reeling and start TYPING.

The Good Cook said...

trying to come up with the common denominator...

Captain Dumbass said...

Not touching that.

Heh heh, touching. Get it?

Meeko Fabulous said...

No comment. LoL! I don't think I even knew that word in fifth grade! Dang overachiever. He's probably reading his way through the dictionary or something.

Joanie M said...

Kids are so smart these days. I was in 8th grade and my friends told me about having sex. I couldn't BELIEVE my parents did that EIGHT TIMES!!! Gross!! hahaha

Joanie M said...

Cap'n, Hahahahaha!!!! Yes, I'm easily amused.

Geezees Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

too funny!

tera said...

Oh good lord. He's HOW old?? What happened to "innocence" for little kids!?

Sprite's Keeper said...

That kid should be moved up to seventh grade immediately! For more than one reason..

Anna See said...

oh my goodness!!! this kind of reminds me of 5th grade when I got scaline confused with scrotum.

Maggie said...

Kids have some funny ass remarks. :)

Lynn said...

This is great! Once a sixth grader read organisms as "orgasms" about 12 times in his science report. Each time brought me closer and closer to a giggling meltdown/

Steven Anthony said...

I knew were this was going and still laughed without control...lmao ;)

justsomethoughts... said...

see, this is why i should be a teacher. i know the answer to that question....

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

I can't wait to hear what the medium said!

Now I'm going to masticate.

Irish Gumbo said...

That's easy: thorough masturbation is essential to proper digestion.


Okay, maybe not essential, but it could make eating interesting...

otin said...

What Braja is to wisdom and spirituality, I am to masturbation! I truly am a guru! LMFAO!

midlife slices said...

LOL That's a good one.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

I. Love. It. So. Much.

Melissa B. said...

Well, it COULD aid in the digestive process, if you think about it...

2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

That is hilarious - I love schoolkids. Just got caught up on all the Sassy proceedings - UGH!

the mama bird diaries said...

Hilarious. I love it.

♥ Braja said...

Damn I laughed so much.....this is brilliant. Makes me wanna spend a day with you in your school....xoxo

eda said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Beth said...

So... what are you guys teaching these kids?! ;)

Tamara said...

hahahaha ooooo out of the mouth of babes!! And I'm dying to hear about your medium meeting!

LPC said...

Well, there's saliva...

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