This was an email I received from a fifth grade teacher friend this morning!
I was teaching the 5th graders about the systems of the human body. Our focus was the digestive system. I asked the kids to explain the beginning of the digestion process. One student raised her hand and explained that she believed the brain was the beginning because the brain is in charge of our senses.
She said that when you see and/or smell food, your mouth waters.
I said, "That is exactly right. The extra saliva in your mouth aids in mastication. Who can tell me what mastication is?"
A very bright fifth grade boy raised his hand and excitedly said, "I know what masturbation is, Mrs. Lee!!"
There was a bit of puzzled silence and he raised his hand again and said, "But I don't know what that has to do with the digestive system."
She said that when you see and/or smell food, your mouth waters.
I said, "That is exactly right. The extra saliva in your mouth aids in mastication. Who can tell me what mastication is?"
A very bright fifth grade boy raised his hand and excitedly said, "I know what masturbation is, Mrs. Lee!!"
There was a bit of puzzled silence and he raised his hand again and said, "But I don't know what that has to do with the digestive system."
(From the "lost files". I'm still reeling from my meeting with a MEDUIM yesterday. I'll share more when I have my wits about me. Are they for real? whew. For those of you who've been out of town, here's Sassy's update.)
53 comments:
bwahahahaha
That was actually just me trying to claim first spot.
*glance*
And succeed. Give me a medal.
It is very hard to use 'mastication' in any context without causing some confusion or at least slight smiles. I suggest the word gets scrapped.
That's what happens when you teach sex ed right before you talk about mastication...
LOL that's pretty much awesome, and 10 bonus points for the kids follow up.
that's funny!
Oh man, 5th graders are awesome. And scary.
Ahahahahahaha....love that kid!
Oooh I can't wait to hear about the medium thing!! Tell us today, please!!
Aw, 5th graders. That last year of childhood innocence before everything becomes so "cool."
Can't wait to hear about the medium. I've been wanting to do this forEVER!
A little scared too...
Hmmm, mastication.....masturbation they do sound alike and I am sure there is some perverse way to make them be synonymous. Nevermind.
*spews coffee* Priceless! I'll chortle when I tinkle today.
That is too good. Kids know a little too much these days.
I think I would have been in tears trying to hold back the burst of laughter...
I have been wondering what that has to do with digestion for years.
Oh my god I'm mortified for the kid that just said that out loud in class.
of course a 5th grad boy knows what masturbation is! ha!
OMG, LMAO at this one! Agree with Mo, we should just drop the word mastication!
Can't wait to hear what the medium said; hope he/she was a really good one!
lol. a good friend of mine aspired to be a preacher, so one day they allowed him to speak to the elementary kids...it was all about fornication...and by the end they all raised their hands as guilty...yep, it wasnt what he thought it was...but it definitely changed some lives that day...
Yikes. It's lunch time. Time to go and...uh...masticate in the faculty lunch room.
Mastication vs. masturbation... both fun activities.
Love it! Can't wait to hear about what the Medium had to say I so believe in all this!
Too precious. Sounds like something I would have said at that age (I wasn't the brightest kid on the block).
Lucky for you and the class that he "raised" his hand,not "lowered" it!
Secretia
Tell your friend to start a blog called The 5th Grade Follies!
Stop reeling and start TYPING.
trying to come up with the common denominator...
Not touching that.
Heh heh, touching. Get it?
No comment. LoL! I don't think I even knew that word in fifth grade! Dang overachiever. He's probably reading his way through the dictionary or something.
Kids are so smart these days. I was in 8th grade and my friends told me about having sex. I couldn't BELIEVE my parents did that EIGHT TIMES!!! Gross!! hahaha
Cap'n, Hahahahaha!!!! Yes, I'm easily amused.
too funny!
Oh good lord. He's HOW old?? What happened to "innocence" for little kids!?
...sigh...
That kid should be moved up to seventh grade immediately! For more than one reason..
oh my goodness!!! this kind of reminds me of 5th grade when I got scaline confused with scrotum.
Kids have some funny ass remarks. :)
This is great! Once a sixth grader read organisms as "orgasms" about 12 times in his science report. Each time brought me closer and closer to a giggling meltdown/
I knew were this was going and still laughed without control...lmao ;)
see, this is why i should be a teacher. i know the answer to that question....
I can't wait to hear what the medium said!
Now I'm going to masticate.
That's easy: thorough masturbation is essential to proper digestion.
...
Okay, maybe not essential, but it could make eating interesting...
What Braja is to wisdom and spirituality, I am to masturbation! I truly am a guru! LMFAO!
LOL That's a good one.
I. Love. It. So. Much.
Well, it COULD aid in the digestive process, if you think about it...
That is hilarious - I love schoolkids. Just got caught up on all the Sassy proceedings - UGH!
Hilarious. I love it.
Damn I laughed so much.....this is brilliant. Makes me wanna spend a day with you in your school....xoxo
So... what are you guys teaching these kids?! ;)
hahahaha ooooo out of the mouth of babes!! And I'm dying to hear about your medium meeting!
Well, there's saliva...
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