Helpful hints for people who eat feet.

Tip number 423 for mothers of teenaged girls:

423. When you’re doing dishes and your daughter walks in with her girlfriend, check to see if there are any STRAGLERS coming in. Odds are great that her new “fella” will sneak in a few moments later as quietly as a stealth bomber, and overhear the following comments.

“I’m SO glad Jack had the nerve to come meet me! Not like that OTHER loser, what was his name? Anyway, he doesn't LOOK creepy, he's SO CUTE!!! And…”

Right about then your 17 year-old daughter MIGHT shout out, “MOM, mom, mom, MOM!!!”

When you turn around and see him standing there sheepishly with his hands in his pockets, don’t be surprised.

And WHY am I so shocked that my foot fits so easily into my mouth these days? (It's a perfect fit.)

tip jar.


Marinka said...


Stefanie said...

That is classic. It's what we do. Embarrass them. We can't help ourselves.

♥ Braja said...

I hope you painted your toenails. Bitch Red.

Joanie M said...


I recently found out that my youngest has a boyfriend, at school. They've been an item for about 4 months now. Everyone had orders NOT to tell me. Why, you ask? Probably so I won't try to sabotage it, like she tried to do with my relationship with John. the kids KNOWS that paybacks are a bitch!

Bano said...

Guess she'll remember to announce additional visitors next time! :)

Alix said...

Yeah. I hear ya. My mouth is an 8½ B.

ChiTown Girl said...

oops. tee hee!

Dr Zibbs said...

Just so you know my sweet 12 year old daughter is now a 13 year old. And the craziness has begun.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Think about it this way, the people who eat their feet more need odor eaters less. They may need a mint though..

3 Men and a Lady said...

Oops. Well, I'm sure she had one coming so I guess you are even.... er.

Mrs. E said...

That's a good one! Aw...she had it coming!

Kellyansapansa said...

Wow - imagine what you could have achieved if you had TRIED to embarrass her!

Steven Anthony said...


elzimmy said...

So good to know what I have to look forward to. My husband is anxiously awaiting the first boyfriend visit...NOT.

CrazyAssMomma said...

lmao. im gonna use your blog as a how-to manual in a few years.
my eldest is 10. and i have a 4 year old too.
both girls.


also, if you have time... theres a lil somethin for you @ my blog :)

Tara R. said...

Oops! What wine (or vodka?) goes best with foot?

The Muse said...

join the club..trust me, it is a fab bunch of glam gals!

Keyona said...

Well it'll even out sometime in the near future.

Mainly a midwife said...

At least you didn't say "what a jerk that guy Jack is". Way worse.

Anna See said...

oops. been there too many times myself.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You're funny.

phd in yogurtry said...

With all that salty talk, no doubt those feet are pickled!

The Wifey said...

My father said "Yo, yo, G-man what's up?" when he met my first boyfriend (whose name started with a G).

You really can't get much more embarrassing than that. The dads are always the worst. Don't sweat it, mama. ;)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Oophs! They'll be talking about you at school tomorrow :-)


Beth said...

If you didn't embarrass her, you wouldn't be doing your job.

NorthWestLondonGirlInTheCountry said...

Perfect, can this apply to girlfriends too??x

Brian Miller said...

at least you have gotten your true feelings out of the way and can now get on to a healthy relationship. lol.

i just wish i could remember to wipe my feet before i put them in my mouth.

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm trying to work this out. Your mouth is foot-shaped or your foot is mouth-shaped?

Secretia said...

Yes it happens! The side effect is that the straggler knows what is important to you and is put on notice by the event, it's not all bad!


Lori said...

Ooh been there. Except, I oddly get pleasure out of awkward situations like that. THEN I feel bad.

CatLadyLarew said...

But of COURSE there's going to be a young swain waiting in the wings to hear those words!

Divine Mrs D said...

Ouch! Amazing. :)

Stopping by from SITS

Lizzy and Elle said...

ha ha

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Kathy's Klothesline said...

Always remember ........ A closed mouth gathers no foot .......

The Blue Zoo said...

I cant wait to embarrass my boys! Guess Im a mean mom.... lol

mepsipax said...

Mmmm foot cheese. That's just nasty. Ah... my son is not old enough for me to embarrass him in that way... yet.

Mocha Dad said...

When my daughter is a teenager, I expect that I acquire a taste for foot.

JulieBouf said...

Aren't you just entitled to make comments like that? Isn't it like, the only perk of having a teenage daughter? Kidding of course. Gar! I rue the day my daughter becomes a teenager.

Awake In Rochester said...

It happens to the best of us. At lest you have clean feet. ;)

Brenda Susan said...

Ha! You were at least able to remove said foot long enough to laugh at yourself & let us all laugh at you too! Yay for you!

AJ said...


thanks. I can't wait until my kids are teenagers. Most of my embarrassing things are lost on my kids.

kanishk said...

At least you didn't say "what a jerk that guy Jack is". Way worse.

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