3/13/10

It's a Cover Girl giveaway, and a billion dollar prize.


I haven't been myself lately, for reasons I'm not quite ready to share. I know this is quite unlike me - this blog is basically a diary of my life. I like to write daily, and usually it's something that has happened to me, my darling children (and I use that term loosely) or the children I so lovingly tend to each day.


I'm not feeling witty.

I'm not feeling funny.

And I can't for the LIFE of me remember any funny stories from my childhood. As someone in my class said recently, "Mrs. Smythe, is your brain working today?"


While I've been wallowing in something that feels unfamiliar to me, I was emailed by the LOVELY women from Cover girl. Remember when I stalked them relentlessly at Blissdom only to find them NEXT DOOR to me in that gargantuan city disguised as a hotel? REMEMBER?

Well, they have proven that they have impeccable timing, and have offered up a fun giveaway for my readers. It's a lovely distraction from this tenuous time.

They are giving away FOUR Smokey Eye kits from Cover Girl! These are guaranteed to make you feel better, even if you are SO depressed that those little blue pills your ob/gyn gave you for your hormonal imbalances aren't working. And even if you are trying to separate two teenage girls bent on world wide destruction, at least you'll look GOOD. Visit here, and tell me which one you would like.


What do you need to do? NO fancy schmancy (sorry suzy) running to and fro.


Just make me smile.


Restricted to a bazillion comments per person. I'll keep this contest open until Monday, and will have Bitchy and Sassy pick the winners in some incredibly witty manner.



(Well, if you DO twitter, and you DO pass the word, I MIGHT throw in a free dog or two. They do NOT pee on the floor when you get home from work on Friday afternoons.)
Bookmark and Share

90 comments:

Alix said...

You not witty?

Sha. Right.

Alix said...

Am I entered?

3 Men and a Lady said...

I think I like the natural one. And Bitchy & Sassy I have a very handsome and single 20 year old brother that I'd be willing to part with for a winning pick.

VM, I hope things lighten up for you... I don't like when you're sad.

3 Men and a Lady said...

Did I just pimp my baby brother for free makeup? Ooops.

It's this economy.

koopermom said...

I've never tried a natural smokey eye.... I'm intrigued!!

Mrs. E said...

OK. This is just hard. You are the master and I bow to you.

However, in the interest of greed:
The latest from a 1st grade class in our area. Little man wanted to lead prayer after a classmate died in a car accident. Not funny, I know--but the teacher felt on shaky ground anyway so went for it. And here is what Little Man prayed:
Awer fadder, who awrt in hebben, I fogetted your name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, and I can't member any mawer.

The teacher felt quite relieved. It was hard to complain about that one!

B & S--I just stop in to see what you two and golden boy are up to. And I always remember what B & S really stand for!! Your mom is full of it, isn't she?!!

Scope said...

Damn! And here I went and used the "where's the voting button" joke yesterday! When today it would have won me the Bold smokey eye?

Now what's a dude I supposed to do about eye makeup for his wedding?

Midwest Mommy said...

I am going with the natural.

Mom24 said...

What do you get when you cross R2D2 and the Invisible Man?

R2 C Through!

My 9 year old and my best effort for a smile.

I'm very down too about things I can't figure out how to resolve. This joke made me smile when he told me about it, maybe it will make you smile for a second too. I hope so.

I love the natural shadows.

Midwest Mommy said...

Wait that didn't make you smile....
the CAB RIDE where you almost got me killed!

Michele said...

Eye shadow? That was nice of them. I can't remember the last time I had time to put on eye shadow. If I had to pick one I want to say glamorous but at my age the best I can do is natural.

Cora said...

Ooh! OOH! I think I like the natural one. Or maybe the bold one. I guess it depends on my mood and I'm not sure what my mood is yet because I just crawled out of bed. *yawn*

As for making you laugh, dammit, I think you're asking a lot. I'm planning a wedding, a cross-country move, an $8000 court battle for my kid, and my refridgerator just died leaving me with no food in the house except those evil Girl Scout cookies which are starting to give me the jitters. I can't think of anything funny either.

.... Ummmm....

Cora said...

Okay, I think I've got one:

My two year old niece walked up to me and told me she liked my cock.

Yes. My cock.

"What?" I asked.

"Cora, your COCK be BIG and I like it!" she squealed.

....uhhhhhh....

....okaaaaaaaaaay.....

Then she pointed at the wall and I learned the awesome power of the letter "L"

My clock. My CLOCK is big.

Well, thank God!!

(Okay, fine, I know you're not rolling on the floor laughing. Just tell me you cracked a smile - even a small smile - and I'll be happy.)

Joanie M said...

I love giveaways but my oldest kid works part-time for Ulta and she gives me free shit all the time. So I'll pass on the contest.. this time!

Now if I can just figure out why my computer will not let me use that Fandango gift card after I went to the trouble to get a new printer, life will be good!

Jenny Brown said...

OH...decisions, decisions....I think I'll go Natural!

citymouse said...

Hope things are looking up... sometimes it just takes time. I totally feel your pain about B & S, but for me it's 3 teenage boys that are bent on world wide destruction or at the very least my undoing.

I would totally love to win the natural look kit.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

OK, entry one for me comes with a plea -

Please help me enlarge my beady little eyes, so that I no longer look like I was bred within my own bloodline.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

OK, entry two finds me explaining why I think I like the Glamorous collection best -

Because when you work with women that insist on taking a dump while talking on the cell phone in the office bathroom, you need subtle reinforcement that your life is indeed Glamorous.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Entry number three from me is where I explain my need for the Natural collection -

Because I am of an age where anything other than pale, neutral shades make me look like an aging tranny. Not fabulous.

Houseonahillorg said...

YAY!!! (so excited I can not speak!)

Snappy Di said...

Would love the Natural color... I love Cover Girl Products anyway and actually use them. Can't leave the house without putting a bit on.

Sorry about your funk. And, oh.... please keep the pee pee puppy to yourself.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Sam said...

I would like the glamourous look. And I too am willing to donate two handsome fellas to the cause. Check out my blog to see my two college boys. At the very least they may be new facebook friends. One is extraordinarily smart. I mean super-genius. The other is extraordinarily handsome. I mean all my mom friends think say so, loudly and often. In fact right now I will post a super pic on my blog just for you all to check out. A little eye candy goes a long way!

Anne said...

S.P.R.I.N.G.~B.R.E.A.K. is just around the corner. If you are at all like me that will bring you a big 'ole smile.

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

My littlest boy, not so long ago would sometimes switch his F and B sounds. Imagine my surprise when he came up to me and mournfully announced: Mama, I gotta beaver.

Poor little thing! :D

just making my way said...

Two guys walk into a bar.

Second one should have seen it coming.

I'm a total make-up whore. I think I would pick either the natural or glamorous, depending on my mood.

Lots of big vodka kisses!

Steven Anthony said...

well I think my eyes are just fine without smokey makeup, so I will pass on the contest:) but I will be sending happy thoughts your way my friend.

peace

Jessica said...

Sorry you're so funky lately but totally understand. I would prefer the natural but honestly, I'll take whatever anyone else doesn't want!

I teach pre-k and just put up a Tattle Turtle so the kids can tell it all of the things I don't want to hear. On the first day a girl told the turtle on a boy who knocked her tower down and the boy ran over, pushed her out of the way and screamed at the turtle "SHE'S LYING!!! SHE'S LYING!!"

Jessica said...

Sorry you're so funky lately but totally understand. I would prefer the natural but honestly, I'll take whatever anyone else doesn't want!

I teach pre-k and just put up a Tattle Turtle so the kids can tell it all of the things I don't want to hear. On the first day a girl told the turtle on a boy who knocked her tower down and the boy ran over, pushed her out of the way and screamed at the turtle "SHE'S LYING!!! SHE'S LYING!!"

Jessica said...

Sorry for the double post- here's another tattle turtle tale:
There is a boy who is wandering around the class taking toys from the other children's hands saying "so, tell the turtle."
I don't think the turtle is working.

Jessica said...

I have a 6 yr. old girl, a 13 yr. old boy and a 15 yr. old girl. I have not killed them yet. don't I deserve something just for that??

CaneWife said...

I'm in a funk, too. It makes it hard.

I'm all for the dogs, though. Whether or not they pee. I can work with that. My husband might try to kill me, but I can work with that too.

Last night, we went to dinner and my 2 year old was up past his bedtime. They were getting his ice cream, and my mom said "You're getting a suprise."

He looked at her and said "Cupcake???"

He was not disappointed, either way.

Hope things start looking up. :)

Jenina said...

hey VM,

I'm not feeling myself either...I haven't blogged for months....but I do read yours faithfully!! oh and I also started reading "The Rules Of Life" by Richard Templar today!

ps. i'm geographically too far away to win this kit:-(

me in the pink said...

VM - I'm sorry you're in a funk. This too shall pass. I don't have anything funny to say (sorry) - I've been in a funk myself for a couple of months (comes and goes). The only thing I want to say to you, is that you don't have to always be funny (don't get me wrong - I crack up when you are). But I (and I'm sure everyone else that reads you) loves you exactly how you are - YOU. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the funny. You are the *first* blog I read every morning. Hang in there VM. I'm rooting for you.

mel (natural)

ReadingRosie said...

I think the funk you are in may be directly related to my funk...DAMN SICK OF WINTER! I need sunshine, a beach, a HOT cabana boy and endless margaritas! AND my little blue pills!

Brian Miller said...

you know...i had the funk this morning too..

Coco said...

Maybe I am a tard but I didn't see where I could look at the different looks. I will shoot in the dark and say Glamorous...cause we all need a little glamour.

I think this weather has us all in a funk. Sunny here today and I am feeling better.

Lorraine said...

Okay, this gets filed under -Things I Never Thought I'd Have to Write on a Message Pad to my boss, the elementary school principal

"Mr. Jones called to say he's sending Tommy to the office because Tommy grabbed Johnny by the breasts and twisted them."

Is it worth a little natural smoky glamour?

Christy said...

So sorry to hear you're not feeling yourself! I hope you get out of your funk soon...the warm weather is ALMOST here - and that has to help, right? Big hugs!

MahoneyMusings said...

I love the natural look.

As for funny? I've got nothing. Life's throwing me some pretty heavy bricks right now.

Hang in the VM. Hopefully you can figure out what you're in a funk about...that's the first step. I think. I mean, I know why I'm in a funk and I keep telling myself that should help. Ah, who am I kidding. I yelled at my kids yesterday and went and cried in my room for half an hour. Life just sucks sometimes.

But I really could use that eye makeup to hide my crazy right now.

Megan said...

Two small children...and a husband... are running me ragged. Only the "natural look" can save me now.

Okay, that and a mixed drink.

Oh, just got an idea. What would happen if we combined mixed drinks & make up ????? Now that would be a fun night!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I'm not feeling funny at the moment so I won't enter. Just wanted to wish whatever it is that's getting to you, away! Away, away, away I say!

Donna said...

love the natural smoky eye kit! New makeup always helps the the blues. Hope yours gets better.

Fiftiesmom said...

I would love to make you laugh, but I'm pretty down right now too. Yesterday at 3:15 (Friday before spring break) my principal calls me in to tell me that he's decided to put me in another position next year. On top of the stress of having 2 college age kids still at home and a senior next year, this sent me over the edge. But, I do have a 23 year old son that I would LOVE to send to Oregon for your girls! Hang in there, VM!

Frau said...

Vodka I hope you get back to your witty self soon...cause no pressure but you are my dose of laughter and humor that my antidepression meds don't cover. I think we all need spring here. Have a great weekend. ((Hugs)) if you need them :)

NJDecorator said...

My 17 yo son asked me today why he know lyrics to songs from when I was 17. I told him classics never go out of style. He said Beatles yes....Iron Butterfly - I don't think so.

How was that?

Suzy said...

As you know, due to my natural beauty that I inherited from plastic surgeons, I have no need for makeup.....WHEN I SLEEP.

The Green Family said...

Ok, if this video of my 4 yr old making his baby brother laugh..something is seriously wrong with you!!!

I want the natural smokey eyes...for my none natural beauty!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhKIHcXDI8c

The Green Family said...

Bitchy...Sassy...did you watch it yet???

C'mon...WATCH IT!! Ü

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhKIHcXDI8c

The Pipster said...

I love the natural look. It's 4:32pm. Is it time for cocktails yet?

The Only Girl said...

If this doesn't cheer you up, I don't know what will!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyGJXLxtVEo

rainy5982 said...

Okay so this might border on gross and at first I was a little grossed out but now it's kind of funny. My one year old has been sick all week with vomiting and stinky diapers, so Wednesday morning he had a banana to eat for breakfast. An hour later her barfs it up, but it doesn't all get out of his mouth. Before I can get my finger in there to sweep out all the banana he chews up the pieces left in his mouth and swallows them again. "Son, don't eat your vomit!" Goes right up to the top of the list of things I never thought I'd say as a parent. Knocking off the previous number one of "Son, don't lick the window!"

Michelle said...

I like the Glamorous collection.


What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you in the corner

Expat mum said...

I would have to go for the Bold look (the blue). I have permanent bags under my eyes from staying up late trying to get my teenagers to bed, and from running around after a 6 year old. Whenever I try the darker looks, I end up looking even more tired. The blue will at least make people think I get enough sleep!

Linda said...

Can you imagine my surprise when my almost 18 year old informed me yesterday that he got sick on his spring break trip, to the point where he actually "had to sit on the toilet". Upon being asked to clarify, he informed me that since that one Thanksgiving where we apparently were talking about how germy toilets were, he's been SQUATTING. Since he's a guy, you can imagine what he's DOING when he's squatting. Now I know why I keep needing to clean the BACK of toilet seat.

But hey, he's cute, and he's moody, and lives in the same town as B & S, so hey, wanna take him off my hands for a month or 6? I'll throw in a bunch of Clorox Clean-ups!!

Down in the dumps must be going around--I caught it too. Had to indulge in a few (dozen) girl scout cookies to even think of something funny. On the other hand, it may "kill two birds with one stone"... Natural smokey eye kit would be awesome, as would the quiet I would get from having him at YOUR house... : )

Ashley said...

I need one of these...I think the CoverGirl Smoky Eye Kit, Glamorous Look would be best. Anything to make my boring, dull a** look a little better. Thanks for the chance!


Here's a joke for ya...
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

Jen Ficorella said...

My son as I have said to you before constantly says "Sand Hanitizer" when needing to de-germ his hands. The MOST fabulous thing he's ever said follows (b and s....i'm sorry if i have no way to amuse you but this ones for your momma) :

At the age of 5 mini moose has a CRUSH on my almost 21 y/o friend Amie. On her 2nd or 3rd time visiting my house all the adults are sitting in the livingroom when he comes out from playing to stand in the middle of the floor. When turning our attention to him to see what it is he wants he proceeds to say to Amie "Come to my room and I will show you Jesus." in one of the loudest voices he's ever used for non-family. To her horror when asking me what to do I tell her he's 5 and to go with him but he's only 5 so "take it easy". He takes her into his room to show her none other than his statues of jesus (he's a bit of a fan of religion) and his angels. Once done looking at those he said they were going to watch cartoons and to sit on the bed. After getting the cartoons set up and the bed cleared he sat next to her with his hand on her leg for about 5 minutes before she could figure out how to ask to leave. I always find it so cute when kids have their first crush. Let's just hope he likes 'em a little closer to his age when he gets older or I might end up with another friend running for the hills cos as you know....jesus means a whole 'nother thing as an adult.

btw....i like the bold one

J.R. Reed said...

I completely get your not feeling witty and being kind of out of it. I've been dealing with a bit of that myself and it sucks ass. And not in a good way. Rock on my vodka drinking sistah. Shit will pass and things will get better...

Dawn said...

I took these videos of my boys eating cranberries one night...hope they make you smile :)

(Natural for me:)

Dawn said...

guess it would help if I gave you the address, huh?

http://whatsaroundthenextbend.blogspot.com/2009/09/thought-you-needed-laugh-today.html

I must have been TOO excited about the giveaway :)

Confusezzeled said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Confusezzeled said...

Your blog makes me smile when I am overwhelmed. Reading it makes me very happy that my two girls are 25 and 21 and no longer trying to kill each other on a daily basis! Just think in a few years they will give you adorable grandkids to spoil and then send home (talk about kharma being a b*tch). Of course you may end up like me and have the come back with extras (children, spouses, fiances, cats..lizards..just saying)
I like the bold best cause at 48 I need something to look young and alluring.

ms-teacher said...

I like the natural look as well. My oldest is 21 & still drives me crazy. One of these days she'll actually get a job. At least, I hope!

Melissa B. said...

I think you got your funny back...right at the end there. And just so you know, I'm a "natural" kinda gal.

only a movie said...

Hey VM, I hope you're feeling like yourself sometime soon.
I wish I had a funny for you. Here's hoping your students will make you smile on Monday. I had a crappy week last week, and the little cherubs in my classroom were the only thing that lifted my spirits.
Put me in for your contest too... I can always use some help that way. ;-)

darkwiltess said...

I'm feeling very BOLD - and so sorry to hear you are not :-(

Shooting Stars Mag said...

i wish i was as witty as oscar wilde...without the jail thing and you know, being dead already. scratch that part of it and give me the wit and I shall rule this giveaway. nah? Well, I'm a makeup sort of/kind of newbie...help me be a GIRL!!

-lauren
lauren51990 AT aol DOT com

Life with Kaishon said...

Did you hear Tiger changed his name?

Cheetah.

: )

I think I like the glamor eye. Who knows. I am not very glamorous though. I have twitter but I have no idea how to tell someone about this. I am a loser for sure!

I hope you feel better soon!

CarrieAnn said...

I'm thinking the glamorous one. I totally deserve this. I had to learn how to put on eyeliner from youtube. (Three weeks ago.) Because my mom never bothered to teach me about makeup. Just like I had to learn about sex from my best friend. (In college.) I need all the help I can get.

Zoe Right said...

I like the bold.

Must be the weather..maybe we all just need to go outside.

Gettysburg Mom said...

I like the natural one.

I don't have any witty comments. However, if you could see some of the outfits my six year old daughter put together, I'm sure you'd smile!

Gettysburg Mom said...

And you know what? I still like the natural one best!

Joanna Jenkins said...

This giveaway is proof that stalking isn't always a bad thing.

Thanks!
xo

WeaselMomma said...

I would go for the glamorous because it would completely fit in with my lifestyle of being a laundry bitch, short order cook and cab driver. It would be a fit as natural as a roller skating pig.

I'm going to tweet this for you, but please, one bitch in this house is enough, so you can keep the dogs.

Jessica said...

Fifties mom: if your principal has been putting you in different positions, seems to me like you should be able to work anywhere you want! Hi-Yo!

Ann's Rants said...

Why do I think I would end up looking like I need to enter witness protection?

Smokey eyes...

RottenMom said...

I am a Natural kinda girl!

You ARE the queen of funny, but I am going to try my best to make you smile!

During a big family dinner at a Chinese Restaurant, my 5 year old nephew sits quietly and studies the placemat with the Chinese Zodiac printed on it.

When it comes time to order, I ask him what he would like to eat.

To which he replied,

"Aunt D. I think I am going to have the Horse, and you can have the Monkey Balls"

He had not a clue.

If that didn't make you smile, check out my blog! I pretty much embarrass my kids daily!

blognut said...

Here's the deal: I can't really wear the smokey eye make-up because anything darker than natural tones makes me look like a panda bear.

However, my two teenage daughters might like to fight over who gets to look like a panda bear, which will likely give me blog fodder for a few days and subject them to all manner of embarrassment. So sign me up!

Also, my verification word is "rearec" which I suspect is a slang term for the chili peppers I ate last night. (I'll be wiping with an ice cube for days.)

Sheila said...

Sorry you are down...sending good thoughts your way. Here's hoping your mom appears in a dream and makes you feel better.
I like the natural

Amber Page Writes said...

Here's something that will make you snort, if nothing else. I walked around half of Walmart today with an envelope stuck to my ass. Really, Here's hoping I don't end up on the People of Walmart.

Maybe a natural smoky eye would disguise me?

Shawna said...

Even when ur not witty, ur pretty witty! ;)
I like the natural! :)

ToyLady said...

Here's something that makes me smile. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqgEH0pztmA

Becky J said...

My son (who is a kindergartener) was looking at the book I was reading. It was one of the smut books so I am glad he's still learning to read. He said most of the words were too long for him but he found one he could read...he wanted to know why my book was talking about boobs. I sure hope he doesn't tell his teacher.

Wendy said...

I will take any of theses eye shadow kits if they make me look like Drew Barrymore!

Stereos and Souffles said...

Let's go glam, shall we?

Melissa said...

Buck up buttercup. A little absolut ruby red grapefruit vodka and fresca would perk you rigtht up. I'm enjoying the blog and would love to tart myself up with any of the options.

Gayle said...

I'm likin' the smoky eye, but really, even more than that I would like to win the dog that doesn't pee on the floor. You throw in one of those I'll send you four that do (pee on the floor) and you can dump those in your next giveaway.

Hang in there. Once mid-life is over it is no longer a crisis.

Wild Child said...

Well, it seems I missed it by a day.

My wittiness:

Well, I looked at the giveaway and the first thing I thought was, "Why do I need a smokey eye look when I have dark circles already around my eyes that I'm trying to hide that the smokey eye look is only going to enhance?"

Even so, if I can be in the contest, I'd like to try the natural. Seems a little less dark circley, don't you think? I will never look as good as Drew Barrymore.

April said...

The Glamorous and Bold looks are hot ... I totally trust Bitchy and Sassy's expertise in the final decision though. xoxo

Mexmom said...

Sorry you are feeling blue... but today is St. Patricks day, so I hope you better green today....:0

I know I'm not funny at all... but I would totally love to win the natural look kit

Amanda said...

Mother of two young boys + full time masters student = Not enough brain power to be funny. But if you need someone to smear food on you or lick something. I have you covered. Mom's need to be glamorous too you know.