3/7/10

What's In A Name???

My family has sent me to my sister's for a little R&R. (You know how much fun THAT can be! Remember The Funny Farm??)Frankly, I'm afraid they might be boxing up my stuff and selling it on ebay, but it's a chance I'm willing to take. While I'm enjoying some "sister" time, my good friend Suzy is filling in. There's nothing like having good friends. Enjoy...

By the 5th grade I knew I was not popular. Because when we were studying pioneer days, I had to choose a name from that era for a play we were doing and couldn't think of one. Excuse me but how would I know the names they used in pioneer days if I wasn't there?

"Suzy, what name have you chosen?"
(LEAVE ME ALONE LADY)
"Didn't you do your homework?"
(I DON’T HAVE A NAME SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?)
"Class, does anyone have a name for Suzy?
(MRS. ROWLAND I HOPE YOU CAN'T PAY YOUR MORTGAGE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS BUT DAD SAID IT WAS BAD)
"I have a name."
(OH GREAT, THE MEANEST GIRL IN SCHOOL HAS A NAME FOR ME)
"Let's hear it."
"Chastity."

The entire class burst out laughing. I laughed too even though I had no idea why. Maybe Chastity meant 'has buck teeth' or 'stupid permanent didn’t work.' Then yes, it was funny.

I went home and looked Chastity up in the dictionary:

The state of abstaining from sexual intercourse outside of marriage; avoidance of sexual sins; the quality of being chaste; moral purity.

I WAS IN THE FIFTH GRADE.

So I did the class play and answered to the name Chastity and knew that if I had been a popular girl I would have gotten the name Faith or Hope or Charity because all the popular girls got those names.

When Cher named her firstborn Chastity I felt vindicated. Although I recently Googled the name and found this:

Chastity is the first soundtrack album by American singer-actress Cher, released on June 1969 by Atco. It was released to promote and accompany the 1969 motion picture, Chastity. The album was a commercial failure.

I can't win.


39 comments:

Vodka Logic said...

And now Chers daughter Chastity is becoming a man name Chaz.. lol

Star Child said...

I thought about changing my name. I went through a lot of different ideas....then kinda settled on Jack Presley. Has a nice ring...what ya think?

I will keep David Samson for now.

Vodkamom, I hope you have a good rest x

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

I think Chastity is a lovely name!! Don't listen to the haters, they're just jealous of your ADORABLE picture!!

Irish Gumbo said...

At least it wasn't Nimrod, or Aholah...

slow panic said...

love the school photo! i look like a boy in mine (which i am not) you can imagine the level of my popularity.

WebSavvyMom said...

-->I knew that was you Suzy before I even read the introduction. I'm sure if you looked up that mean popular girl on facebook, she's fat and you could name her Obesity!
~deb
www.WebSavvyMom.com

Alix said...

Look on the bright side... Faith, Hope, and Charity probably all have STDs, but Chastity is as pure and clean as the driven snow. Take THAT bitches!

{wink}

Adoption of Jane said...

LOL I was gonna say the same thing as Vodka Logic... now its Chaz you really can't catch a break!!

The Pipster said...

Ditto Vodka Logic and Adoption of Jane on that one, Suzy.

Vodkamom, hope you're having fun at the Funny Farm, up at 6am with a shot of Bailey's in your espresso and a Vodka/Fresca for a nooner.

Secretia said...

I beg to differ with you VodkaMom, you did win, you are already a winner!

Secretia

Assertive Wit said...

you couldn't win for losing, huh? hahahhahaha and what were you doing getting a perm at such a young age?! LOL

Momma Fargo said...

I'm thinking a shot of Pomegranate Vodka cures everything and even might taint the Chastity...good thing you can still use your alias..Suzy...when you have to be incognito.

Brian Miller said...

my alias was Roman Michaels...

chastity, you are still cool in my book...

The Boob Nazi said...

Oh man, I was disgustingly unpopular in elementary school. I like to think I made up for that by being a cheerleader in high school.

Rick Daley said...

Oh hell, that's nothing. I've been called a lot worse than that.

Steven Anthony said...

chasity , chaz, lol, its all in a name...great post;)

The Muse said...

Names...
Ah the bane of any child who has a "bad" one....

I know those days all too well :(

LOL LOL

Frau said...

What is in a name a hell of alot!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Hey!
Did you get a free belt with that name?
No respect, I tell ya...

Good job watching the place Suzy :)

Peace ~ Rene

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Luckily about the time you hit 35, you can ask, "who's laughing now?" I would venture to say it is you.

Snappy Di said...

All I can say is... LMBO. I adore your sense of humor when it comes laughing at yourself.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Suzy said...

That permanent at the ends of my hair is left over from the 4th grade. My mom left it in too long and when I put my hair in a ponytail my sister called me The Pony Express because the tail shot out straight behind me. EVIL.

I don't know how my eyes got so dark. I have green eyes. Were they photoshopping back in the 1800's?

Thanks for the invite, Vodka. I know you need the time off.

bernthis said...

oh Lord. the shoe fits now, doesn't it? although not voluntarily

CatLadyLarew said...

Condolences on the unpopular moniker. But, remember, it just goes to show... all those popular girls were probably sluts even way back then!

blognut said...

I'm late... as usual... but I'm wondering if you were so scarred for life by this that you will not change your name to Chaz and become a man.

blognut said...

And your hair?

Heh.

Fragrant Liar said...

Suzy, if you're trying to tell me you are not morally pure? I'll never -- NEVER -- believe it!

phd in yogurtry said...

5th graders are poopie heads.

Fragrant Liar said...

P.S. Re your pic, did your permanent not work?

My mother liked to inflict Toni perms on me at a very young age. I still remember the smell! And the incredibly unmanageable curls. WHY did she put me through that?

Anna See said...

nothing wrong w/ chastity, but i bet you are sticking w/ suzy. thank for the fun post!

Christy said...

I'm laughing WITH you, not at you, right? Because that was REALLY funny!!!

Ann's Rants said...

I was Chastity in anything goes.

I had to wear a blond wig. I looked like Cher wearing Martha Rae's hair.

And it was in that get-up I met my husband.

Everyday Goddess said...

Chastity? What's that?

Juli Ryan said...

After your permanent, did people call you Brillo Pad? No? I DIDN'T THINK SO.

KiKi said...

Cute story, Suzy. Sounds a lot like my childhood! :-P

Krystal Grant said...

Hilarious. Now you can call up that girl from the 5th grade and give her a name. I'm sure you can come up with something "colorful" that she will have no problem understanding.

mo.stoneskin said...

Could have been Jezebel!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

I wonder who thinks that childhood is fun!

Notes from a Broad said...

Oh this was Good !
They called me Candy.
Yep ... think for a nanosecond and you will come up with some of the gazillion things there are to make fun of a person called Candy...until I was at least 21 and started using my full name.