4/2/10

I trust my heart: and so should you.


We were all enjoying a typical evening at the Smythe house last night. The Golden Boy was pissed off at us for not allowing him to buy the LATEST game system that all the spoiled kids at school apparently have; the dogs were barking incessantly at people and their dogs running up and down the bike path in the 60 degree weather; and Sassy was angrily throwing clothes that didn’t fit her across the hallway in a hormonal rage.

Typical night.

Sassy informed us earlier in the evening that she and her best friend were going to attend a small (yeah, right) party for seniors at the cabin owned by one of her best friend’s family. It was a last minute thing, as the party was ORIGINALLY planned for the weekend. We have always been relieved that she shares the details of her plans with us, and we attribute this directly to our tragic loss.

We made agreements after that about rides, phone calls, phone pictures, etc. and it’s worked out surprisingly well. And by well, I mean we haven't killed each other. Frankly, it has only been recently that she’s felt comfortable venturing out with her peers. (Remember the traumatic confession? And this? That resulted in this? ) The girls and some friends had been out to this particular cabin for several “get-togethers” the last few weekends, and we knew exactly where it was located and who was going to be there. (Everyone and their brother. And a few more.)

The girls decided to take in a movie, and were going to return home and change before the party.

Then, it happened. I started feeling uneasy. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I just had an inkling, a feeling that she shouldn’t go to this one. I immediately mentioned it to Tightwad.

“I just don’t think she should go tonight. I really don’t. Can you talk to her?” (She tends to NOT try to talk her father out of anything. He can be a tough son of a (@*#&. And in cases like THIS, it’s a GOOD thing.)

When the girls returned from the movie, I heard them all talking (ahem) downstairs. I was in bed reading and listened while the girls hung out in the living room/dining room area singing at the top of their lungs and laughing hysterically at their Facebook Stalking until well after I fell asleep.


It was today that Sassy dropped the bombshell.


Guess who showed up at the “private party” uninvited and scanning the crowd?



The stalker.




It pays to listen to your heart.


Every.

Single.

Time.


56 comments:

Maggie May said...

As mom to a 15 year old (the others haven't 'started' yet... you know) I HEAR YOU. Good job, Momma.

Momma Fargo said...

See...mother always knows best.

Joanie M said...

damn! thought I was first!

Joanie M said...

Is he not supposed to come near your daughter? So, the girls stayed at your place instead of going to the cabin?

3 Men and a Lady said...

I believe in intuition 100%. Good job Mom!

The Boob Nazi said...

How scary!

Captain Dumbass said...

The Force is strong in this one...

Alix said...

What? The Stalker?

Hasn't he been executed by now? Golly, the court system sure does take it's time. Why is he on the loose, anyway?

All things being equal, Sassy made it home safe and sound. But that mother's intuition thing is mighty powerful. It should be used!

Tortuga said...

I have learned to listen to my "momma gut" and it always pays off. Thankfully my kids still listen to me somewhat. I don't know what the future will hold.

Gayle said...

Sweet Jesus...she shouldn't have to deal with this guy. Doesn't she know a guy who knows some guys who know some guys who can be the livin' shit out of him? If not, let me know and maybe I can hook you up. Go with the gut. I never do and we always regret it.

Gayle said...

Hello?? That was "beat the livin' shit". I better go to bed now.

Beth said...

I'm glad she listened to her dad. How scary!

Michele said...

I'm glad to hear she stayed home. The last thing she needs is a repeat of that time.

WeaselMomma said...

Wow. Talk about mother's intuition.

Brian Miller said...

like a bad penny...

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

It's amazing how you get those feelings. It's not easy to parent teenagers, that's for sure.

mo.stoneskin said...

I always knew you were a Jedi.

I've been waiting for you, Obi-wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.

But you holding up ok? Just about?

WebSavvyMom said...

-->Always trust your sixth sense.

CatLadyLarew said...

I've had that feeling before... I've also had a feeling of peace and serenity when I know Vlad's going to be alright, like when he had both of his surgeries.

Good for you for listening to your gut... one of the hardest, yet most important, jobs we have as parents.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Wait...shouldn't that guy be in jail by now?

Just say the word...I'm Italian - I know people who know people who can make people disappear....

Secretia said...

The stalker returned? Holy shit!

Vodka Mom said...

yes- he is NOT to come near her and I can't go into more details.



yikes.

Keyona said...

It's good to always follow our mommy instincts. Good for you!

Kari said...

Wow! I just read those previous posts about your nephew and your daughter's stalker - I'm about to cry! I'm so sorry for the loss of your nephew. Our oldest son is 16 and just recently started driving. It terrifies me! Our oldest daughter is 13 and just starting to get into the whole boys/social stuff. That terrifies me too. It's really scary what teenagers have to face today. Sounds like you are a great mom. My heart goes out to you!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

It's so nice to know that that mother instinct will almost always serve you well.

Thank God.

ChiTown Girl said...

Holy crap!!! I'm SO glad you followed your gut. AND that she doesn't argue with her daddy. Sounds like she had a good time, anyway, hanging out with her friends at your place. Why isn't that POS in jail yet!?

me in the pink said...

Holy Crap. My stomach sank when I read your post. I'm just shaking my head; I can't believe it. Thank God she stayed home. Glad you are on high alert, but that is not an easy way to go through life - stressful! Thinking about you....
mel

Snappy Di said...

Yes.. we as parents need to listen when those hairs on the back of our neck stand up about danger to our children. Glad you listened to yours!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Cheryl said...

Followed the links and the words going through my mind are unfit to print. Dammit all to hell!

Hope all of you are doin' okay. I'm so glad you have people in the system you can call in a heartbeat.

Elizabeth @ TexasEbeth said...

OMG! the boy is just asking for jail time ain't he? I'm glad you listened & Sassy listened to your Mom voice. Best.thing.God.ever.gave.mommas! I'm sure y'all have followed up appropriately with the authorities.

Laura said...

Wow! Kudos to you for listening to your gut. Our "guts" are sooo important, & not just with our kids. Good for you that you trust yours, & great for you that your family has a "system" (don't argue with dad!) that works to keep everyone safe!

Prayers all around!

Notes from a Broad said...

When my son was in the 3rd grade, another mother in the school he went to started following us. For 2 years we had this stalker, I never knew when I would turn around in a store or on the street or coming out of my home, and see her, sitting there in a big yellow Mercedes with a big sh*teating grin on her face.
I went to the police, I had my "own" detective who even went to her home and talked to her.
After she stood in front of our car one day on a deserted street and waved a large stick at us, I was able to file with the police that she threatened us.
Strangely, not long after that, she moved out of the state.
It took a while for me to relax and not be on the look-out for her, but she never came back, or at least near me or mine.
Remember all of your mama bear fierceness.. every bad person has a mom too and that has no bearing on this now, you have to protect and fight for your own young now.. whatever it takes.
I hope this all ends very soon, there is nothing so nerve wracking and upsetting as constantly worrying about your child/children.
Besos..

Expat mum said...

My Queenager has a better radar than me. I tried to persuade her to go to a nearby party last year since she never goes to them. My thinking was that it was close by and it would allow her to make some sensible decisions. She decided she didn't want to go - and the party turned out to be a nightmare with drunken kids being taken away in ambulances etc. Pah!

Anna See said...

whew! so glad you listened to your feeling-- "the gift of fear." i have one bad ex when i didn't and one good one when i did...

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm glad your daughter listened. We would have had the scene from hell if we tried to pull a party okay at the last minute--though she may have had the same doubts and been relieved.

From my bedroom I can hear every siren that goes down a main road. It it's an ambulance or fire truck I have to get up and go check all the kids. And every time, I think of your nephew. It can happen.

Good luck with whatever your next step is.

Desert Songbird said...

I'm glad you trusted your instincts, and I'm VERY glad your husband (and daughter) did, too. It's so tough to give our kids independence, and yet just when you know you can trust your own kid, others come along to shatter our world.

Mean people suck. Scary people suck more.

Cora said...

Wow. Just WOW.

only a movie said...

Wow. Good for you for listening to yourself.
Also, ack.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Good job! I am so glad that you followed up on your instinct and glad that she didn't go in spite of it!

Just Words On A Page said...

Holy shit. I am so glad you listened to your heart, your gut, your 6th sense, your inner mom. I am so thankful she followed what you said. So now what. Do you think he knew she would be there? Gah!

Fragrant Liar said...

Good call.

In keeping with the Jedi commentary, Done well you have.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I was thinking about you the other day. We have a student who pulled a really scary stalkerish stunt with his girlfriend when she broke up with him. Let's just say police were at the school and he was arrested.

The girl's dad does not want to press charges. He thiks he should give the boy one more "chance." How scary is that?

Mimi Lenox said...

Oh my Lord. Always always always listen to the "something" you can't put your finger on. Never fails.

Now I need to catch up on the stalker. Stalker??? What??!
I'm behind.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Holy @#$%^&! Crap! I'm glad you listen to your instincts.

Why is that kid still on the loose. Jees-sus.

xo

Julie said...

Catching up on my blog reading, finally. Happy Saturday and Happy Easter!!!!

jessica said...

wow. so glad she stayed home. so glad you listened and so did she.

Sodermoto said...

That is scary! I am glad that you listened to your inner voice. :) Gold star for you mom!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

That's just amazing. How can they ever doubt you?

Liss said...

Eeek! Yes I have freaky intuition like that - even when the phone rings! (i.e. don't pick that up, it's going to be my psycho mother/whoops my library books are overdue)

Thank goodness you are on the ball!

Vodka Logic said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, how heartbreaking.

And great vibes you have. I am sure Sassy will listen to them from now on too..


xx

just making my way said...

So thankful you - and she - listened to that intuition. Ugh, I'm sorry this is coming up again. Thinking of you.

Otter Thomas said...

Your mother's intuition certainly served you well on this one.

LegalMist said...

That is completely creepy. Even creepier than the creepy "useless knowledge" at the botton of your web page today, which reads as follows: "Close to 20 percent of all adults living in the United States have had a cockroach living in their inner ear canal.The roach enters the ear while you sleep."
And *THAT* is creepy.

I'm so glad you listened to your heart.

I won't be able to listen to anything at night any more, as I now plan to sleep with earplugs so the roaches can't get in. Eeeeewwww!

Tammigirl said...

Amen to this! I think intuition is the single most wonderful gift a mother has. Always, always listen to your own good sense.

anymommy said...

Ugh. And good for you for listening to your intuition!

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