Lessons that Bitchy and Sassy neglected to teach me. (aka Girls do NOT do these things.)

1. If you are late picking up your son to take him to basketball practice, he might be standing in the front yard writing his name in the snow. (With something yellow and I’m not talking about a pen.)

2. While riding to said basketball practice he might go on to describe an event in the bathroom that is something you do NOT need to hear described. Cheezus.

3. He might go on to tell you that he hasn’t brushed his teeth for three days. Proudly.

4. He will then ramble on for the last ten minutes of the ride about why he should not have gotten detention for pushing Jack’s books off his desk.

5. Then, as he is getting out of the car he might quickly ask you to take him to the store after said practice to get a birthday card for someone who is just a friend.

(A friend. Yeah, a friend who just happens to be his dad. He really DOES think I was born yesterday.)


Lynn MacDonald said...

Seriously? Your 12 year old was outside peeing in the snow? Hahaha... That kid sounds smart telling you everything IN PASSING. How come kids always give you TMI?

Lady Estrogen said...

Wow - pissing in the snow - that's brave in this cold. Yikes :) lol.


Betty said...

Love it! My grandsons now tell me they are going to drop a deus when they go to the bathroom for a bm. I laugh every time. They call me Bee, and I love it.

Mishelle said...

Yeah, my son is soooooo different than my daughter. It's refreshing and scary in it's own way.

He hasn't written his name in the snow - yet but I know it's coming...

I know it is.


Gigi said...

Yup, sounds just like a boy!

Sarah Garb said...

There are many bathroom-related boy things I'd be happy enough to never learn or think about. There's a whole different threshold for what does or does not require handwashing.

Brian Miller said...

comeon VM...this is not shocking at all...boys do this all the time....smiles

Joanie said...

I learned MANY things I didn't want to know about my older daughter and my son when we played "Never have I ever...." at least I was smart enough to lie sometimes.

Scope said...

I ber Bitchy has peed her name in the snow at least once. Just not in the front yard.

Cheryl said...

Taking the high road ain't for the meek. Stay strong. He needs both of you.

I honestly didn't think boys actually did that. Brian's comment leads me to believe this has been going on forever and no one bothered to tell me.

I love my rose-colored glasses.

Joanna Jenkins said...

A birthday card for "a friend". Gotta love that.
Cheers, jj

Anne said...

I tried peeing standing up...once. :-) Keep smiling...remember: Life is all a ride!

Sharon Rose said...

Sounds like some of the same things my son did.

I remember stepping out on the back patio after dark one night, just to see three of the ten boys ( who were sleeping over) standing in a row, peeing. The contest was to see who could be the farthest away for the longest amount of time.

Yes, I do believe I could have lived the rest of my life without being witness to that! And they were all at least 16 yrs. old! One was the principle's son. One was the eighth grade English teacher's son. Oh and one was the preacher's kid. . . "blushing" Yes that would have been mine!

Mrs. E said...

Ah, boys! Such a different breed!!

Anonymous said...

BOYS.......you gotta love 'em!!

Anonymous said...

PS beat me to the story! I did so love having a houseful of boys every weekend!! There was one in particular that I would catch peeing in the yard at LEAST once every weekend. I think he had a toilet phobia!
It's funny the things you miss when they are grown up!
But just think. . . boys = NO PMS!!!

ToyLady said...

Just never NEVER ask what happens to all the toilet paper.

Notes From ABroad said...

I had one of each and frankly, found the Boy to be sooo much easier ..
( the word verification is tator and that is what I call my dog sometimes.. )

Unknown said...

So typical of the male sex... doing something like that because they CAN!

abby jenkins said...

Maybe he can make a handmade card for his "friend' if the snow doesn't melt.

Awesome story, God bless you.

Maggie May said...

cheezus? ha!

Sandi McBride said...

Here via Pastor Sharon and have gone back and read a few other posts and when I wasn't shaking my head in denial that anyone else had ever lived the life I live, I was laughing at snow art...yes that is what my sons called it, snow art. You are a fun read. Gonna add you to my favorites so I don't miss a thing!

Ninety-Nine Lives said...

I have three sisters. We fight, we pull each other's hair, we paint toenails... peeing in the snow isn't something girls do.

It was quite a shock when Superman, before taking me home, told me he had to pee, then got out of the car, turned his back to me, and let loose, right there on his driveway. Granted, he lives on a farm. But still!


WeaselMomma said...

No doubt about it, boys and girls are definitely different beasts.

Did he spell his name right? You can be proud if he did.

CSY said...

My brother PAID me $10 to teach my sister to pee off the porch...I got it! I couldn't teach her how to write her name, but she got it off the porch!!!

Yes, BOYS are SO much easier than girls! I have 1 girl and 2 boys...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Rebecca said...

When my son was little my husband taught him to pee outside when they were in the backyard. However, he thought it was ok where ever we were. The park, a friends house....you get the picture.

Brenda Susan said...

My "boys" are now men, 28 & 24. They still embarrass me with their odd behaviors!

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