Don't tell anyone that I'm reading anything decent. (It's a BOOK giveaway!!)

I’ve met many great people through this little blog of mine, and I’d like to introduce you to one of them today.

Her name is Sara J. Henry, and she is an AUTHOR: a real live, book coming in the blink of an eye, author!!

We met online decades ago, and then in real life last fall as she was driving through Oregon on her way to Vermont. (Her sense of direction is questionable.)

Now, as you all know I am very picky about what I read. I will not read ANYTHING that has won an award, or is written by someone who thinks too highly of himself. And if I even hear a whisper about the word Pulitzer, I run to the other side of the bookstore.

Sure, I stalk Stephen King, have every book he has ever WRITTEN, quote his “On Writing” so often people think I’m on his payroll; but he’s the exception to my “I only read crap” rule.

Until today.

Sara sent me an advance copy of her novel “Learning to Swim.” I loved it.

Her writing flows in such a way that makes it a pleasure to read. I was hooked from the beginning, and loved it! And now I hope you will, as well.

I offer the hook, “If I’d blinked, I would have missed it. But I didn’t, and I saw something fall from the rear deck of the opposite ferry: a small, wide-eyed human face, in one tiny frozen moment, as it plummeted toward the water.”

I am able to offer TWO signed copies of her book. In order to win, please do one of the following:

1. Send a card in the mail to someone who needs a lift. Snail mail, you remember that, don’t you?

2. Tweet about this giveaway. (And flap your wings like you’re flying when you do.)

3. Tell me a funny story about Valentine’s Day and kids. Or you. Hell, just make me laugh.

4. Leave a comment letting me know if you did any or all of the above for an entry.

You can enter as many times as humanly possible. I will have Munchie choose the winner sometime next week!


Bragger said...

Last year on Valentine's Day, Hubby and I picked out cards for each other in the grocery store. We read the cards and then put them back. Then Hubby pointed out the flowers he WOULD have bought me if he had been so inclined. It was great! No expense, and no one's feelings were hurt.

I will certainly send a card in the mail. I'd like to send one to YOU, if you'll provide me with your address! (And no, it's not so I can become a scary stalker type.)

Gigi said...

Three out of four ain't bad. No funny Valentine's story pops into mind - but I AM sending a snail mail card this week (despite this give away), I'm off to tweet it RIGHT NOW and I'm commenting.

I, too, also only read "crap" - not that this book (or any book I read) is crap - it's just that I've learned to distinguish between what is read-able and what is literature.

PS - I LOVE Stephen King too!

Actuary Mom said...

On my first valentine's day with my now husband, he didn't think it was a big deal, didn't get me a card, and didn't call me until 9pm that night because he had a busy day. I was in college and living in a dorm and constantly checked my mailbox for the notice I got flowers. I did not. I got an e-card.

Actually on second thought this is mostly depressing, and not really funny at all.

Sharon Rose said...

I learned something new about you tonight. I never knew about your "preference" to books. Well, now. . . ain't that special?

I am so glad I didn't sign you up for Oprah's book club. That could have caused a real wedge in our friendship.

I have already reserved a copy of Sarah's book at the store. I'll get one in 2 weeks.

However, I do send cards in the mail, when I am "called" to do so. (I know, you get that)

The funniest Valentine Story I can think of is when my Mom was in the hospital in 1974 having my little sister. My Dad stopped and bought a box of chocolates and a large bouquet of flowers. He, being a minister, stopped at the room of a parishioner on the way up to the labor and delivery floor. An old man he was visiting said, "Oh you didn't have to do that for me."

The old man was serious.

Dad didn't want to hurt his feelings. Thinking quickly, he gave the man the flowers because he knew my mother loved chocolates.

When he got to the room with the chocolates, my Mom thought it was cruel that he brought them to her because she couldn't eat chocolate while breast feeding and had just told my Dad that two weeks prior.

What nervous Dad would have remembered that? I mean really. It proved to be the joke about love and romance for the rest of their marriage.

That didn't make me laugh. It probably won't you either. And, let Munchie choose someone else.

I'll keep sending cards as I am "told" and I'll tweet about this give away.

Everyday Goddess said...

Valentines Day? Well, this year I'm spending it with Jon Stewart. Yup! The JON STEWART. I'll let you know more later, unless you can come to NYC, you can join us!

Sara J. Henry said...

Me, me, me, pick me! Oh, wait, right, I wrote it. (But you bet I'll be tweeting about the contest! - and everyone, it would be great if you tweeted or Facebooked it ... to help even more people discover the wonderful Vodka Mom). A zillion thanks to her for running this contest, and for reading and liking my novel. She's truly a marvelous lady and I'm very lucky to have her for a friend. Note: I'll sign the books for the winners, and personalize them as desired.

Joanie said...

OK, you saw my blog post about the books I've won and how much I love books! I'd love to get my hands on this book. Although, if I don't win,I'll get it on my Kindle (If it's available on Kindle).

I don't think I have a funny Valentine's Day story. Just a very sad lonely one that I won't tell.

No Tweeting for me. I had an account, but deleted it quite a while ago.

Melissa E. said...

I do not tweet. However, I'll be sending a card out first thing tomorrow.

The only funny Valentine's Day story I can think of is how my son tried to fit three of those dark chocolate Dove Hearts into his mouth at the same time. Made quite a funny mess.

I'd love to read this book. A recommendation from someone who usually only reads crap means A LOT to me. I could use a good book right about now.

Kyddryn said...

I'd send a card but I can't afford postage.

I don't tweet in public - I was taught that it's rude. ;-)

I don't have any funny V-Day stories...but I COULD tell you a joke. It made the surgeon who performed my c-section laugh out loud - WHILE he was performing the surgery! So, joke: Why don't witches wear underwear?? So they can get a better grip on their brooms. Badump-bump.

This here's my comment - you can decide if I met the criteria.

As for the darling little choice-maker...if I may...I grow organic catnip and may have some to spare...just sayin'...

Shade and Sweetwater,

Amy Sue Nathan said...

I tweeted! And my funny Valentine story is funny in the aww sense, not the ha ha sense.

When I was married, one year my husband was away at a conference over Valentine's day. I got a dozen roses on that day, and a different color of a dozen roses for four days after that til he got home.

Not sure if it was love or guilt but at the time it didn't matter and it's a good story even though he ended up my ex. Frankly, I'm not sure he was away alone, but that's not funny aww or funny ha ha so I'll leave it out.

Brian Miller said...

alright...always up for a book...so i will be back tomorrow when i can think straight...

Ginny said...

tweeted http://twitter.com/momof2dancers/status/34472456282439680

Sodermoto said...

See I knew I was waiting to send all my son's valentine's to his grandparents in Utah for a reason! I hope they all enjoy them... I even traced his hand print so they can get an idea of how BIG he is getting! :)

Moxymama said...

I will send a note out in the mail tomorrow. I promise! :) I would love to read this book. Always looking for a new author. THanks for doing the giveaway.

Anonymous said...

Hey, this is my first time here..:))
But believe me, what a blog!! Inspiring in every way...This is your first post I have read, but I enjoyed it word to word...
Its so nice you really encourage talents...so many don't do that these days...
I am not a voracious reader, but I enjoy little reading...I am gonna get my hand on this one...It sounds enticing...:)) If possible, do cross my blog too...am more a poet, than a writer...great day!
Keep blogging..will keep following..

Unknown said...

Okay, I'm off to see if it's available in Kindle format. A recommendation from you doesn't come easy so I figure it must be good.

Cora said...

As a matter of fact, Scope and I have a card we are planning to send to YOU. We just need your new address. Can you send it to me, purty please?

Does that count as an entry in the contest????

As for a funny story, it's early morning here and I'm not fully awake yet, so I'll have to get back to you on that.

duffylou said...

Tomorrow I am sending my parents their Valentine anniversary card in the mail. They will be married 63 yrs this Valentine's Day. Actually, it's a Valentine card that I've hand written, "anniversary too", in black script. So snail mail and white trash over here!

FYI, if any of you are in the greeting card business, there have only been two years I was able to find a Valentine anniversary card. You'd be surprised how many there are.

Ingrid said...

My effort to make you laugh...cuz I really want that book!

Me: Holden, did you just put a booger in your mouth?!
Holden: GROSS MOM! I don't eat my boogers.
Me: Well then what did you put in your mouth?
Holden: my toenail.

I think he might be Frank.

Two Demented Dames said...

I'll put it on my kindle list. I love getting suggestions for books and if someone highly recommends it, I'll usually purchase it. It's not like authors are out there buying bentleys so I "support the arts" or as my husband would say, "I support my habit." collecting books.
Good luck Sara
Susan - www.swimbeauswim.blogspot.com

Danyelle said...

My husband brought us home early valentines last week. He brought my eighteen month old a box that looked like a blue dog. It made her day, she carried it around acting like it was barking and waited two days before she ever tried to open it.

Angie Ledbetter said...

#1. Mailed a note, a king cake and something to a person who'd lost his home in a fire.
#2. I flapped and facebooked.
#3. Need a laugh? Work for it -- hit my blog for a few phone funnies.
#4. Comment made.

Now -- hugs and xxo. I've missed being here, but going AWOL for a while was nice too. :)

PS? The secret decoder word is NOT funny -- "dogess." harumph!

Cookie said...

I have a few books that I have benn meaning to read. I''ll have to add this one to the list.
Can you believe I still don't have a twitter account. I know, the world is really missing out ;) Where do you find the time?!

Cid said...

I think I read about this book on another blog but they weren't offering a copy. As for Valentines stories, mine involved a secret admirer when i was in grade 10 and a group of my friends and I had a secret club called the Unicorns. That year i got about 5 or 6 cards addressed to the Unicorns c/o me. I never found out who the sender was until a few years ago and in my forties. It was my Dad, the best secret admirer ever.
P.S. My favourite Stephen King book is "The Stand"

Cid said...

P.P.S I think I will send a anonymous card to my Dad because he is so wonderful and single again this year.

Scribble said...

Here's my funny Valentine story. I want the book!

Last year on Valentine's Day, 2nd Grade:
Tony is in line waiting for a drink of water. I notice he has a small heart pinned to his shirt.

"Oh, Tony. I see you've got a heart on."

I cringe. That didn't sound right. But, Tony is pleased that I've noticed his heart.

So, I relax...until I hear the laughs from the fifth graders lined up across the hall.

LiBBy said...

My only child was born on Valentines Day AND it was my due date! That is undoubtedly the last time my body was reliable and on time for anything.
I am sending out a card and a paint by number kit to someone who's laid up after surgery and sending an apron to a friend in Canada. I sang like a bird with his tail on fire on Twitter. Now I just have to figure out a way to bribe your cat......

Thomas Lowery said...

Snail mail! wow! Reminds me of a Guy Clark song called Analog Girl. Check out the lyrics for a good laugh.

Fantastyk Voyager said...

How exciting! A book contest!!

I absolutely forgot Valentine's Day one year because I was so busy getting ready for my son's First Birthday Party the day before. My husband conveniently reminded me all the time about it afterwards.

Oh, I'm not a bird- I don't tweet! ;P

Tammy said...

Well I tweeted & yes I did flap my arms, just for the fun of it. I didn't send a card, but I did send a pair of handmade mitts to lift a friends spirits. My funny story is when my dog, Eli got into a bag of Pop Rocks and ran backwards through the livingroom trying to get away from the popping sound in his mouth

Sarah said...

I have 2 snail mail cards ready to go. Don't tweet and am not really sure I want to, but know one of these days it will make me feel old and out of touch that I don't so I will figure it out then.

Don't have a funny story per se just what seems to be to a very appropriate valentines gift coming my way.

After losing both breasts to breast cancer in 2008 ( yes I am fine now etc etc ) I am finally get 2 perky 23 year old replacements...yup you got it on valentines day life is great isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Don't tweet, sorry.

Funny Valentine's story: My birthday is the day before. Husband showed up on Valentine's Day with three wrapped gifts - birthday, Valentine's, and a belated one from December. Opened first one - a lovely purple sweatshirt! Opened second one - a nice white sweatshirt with modern art squiggles. Opened third - an orange sweatshirt with white stripes going parallel to the ground. Just like a traffic barrel - and since I am a 38HH bra, exactly what I looked like in it. Sigh.

Not sending cards. Sending out two pair of socks and one pair of double knit mittens to relatives we visited on recent death trip. Hopefully that will cheer them up. Come to think of it, the mitten colors were chosen by husband (his relatives, and they requested bright), and they are orange and purple - guess things haven't really changed in thirty years. Another sigh.

banphriosa at yahoo dot com

Ron said...

I'm recommending this book to my wife and mother-in-law... actually, I may nab it for my wife as a surprise gift.

Okay. My story, which has nothing to do with anything but, well... Last week snow was forecasted as a "sure thing" here in Houston bringing untold delight to my 3rd grader, stepdaughter who had her heart set on building a snowman. But of course, it did not snow putting my stepdaughter in a surly mood all day. At bedtime her mom and I asked her how her day was already knowing the answer.

"It was lousy. The stupid news said there'd be snow, but there wasn't. Don't they know they lied to us kids and took away our chance to build a snowman? ...I wanna punch the f#ck outta the weatherman."

I immediately thought you'd like this one.

LivewithFlair said...

You are hilarious! I just love your blog. Here's a funny story. This morning my youngest daughter screamed out the front door (as her Dad was shoveling snow): "Dad, I want to get you a gadget for Valentines Day!" I don't think she knows what this word means, but it was funny that she thought that's what you give a Dad. I'm off to get a gadget somewhere.

Sara J. Henry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sara J. Henry said...

Hi - just confirmed this - if the winner prefers a Kindle version, just let me know - it will arrive in your Kindle Feb. 22. (It doesn't seem to yet be available on the Nook, but perhaps that will change.)

Msb said...

Sorry it's been a while. You know how it goes. How wonderful that I stopped in on a day that you mention Stephen King's On Writing! I just finished it and cannot begin to tell you how much it has helped me. I love that you love that book.

No need to count me in on your give-away. Just really wanted to say hi.

Traci said...

Came to you via Sara J. Henry's blog after reading about her book on a "Read it Forward" email.

I actually sent a card this morning to a good friend who is a recent cancer survivor and whose hubby is being a turd. Needless to say, she needed a pick-me-up.

Thanks for the opportunity to win a book that I am really really really excited to read!

Kimberly said...

On a Friday evening not too long ago, my older son and I were headed home from teenage ninja class. His younger brother was spending the night with a friend.

Although I was actually looking forward to attending another Twitter #wineparty when we arrived home, we had a conversation that went something like this:

Me: Oh, Honey. I forgot to tell you, Thing Two is spending the night with a friend.

Thing One: [grunt]

Me: We’ll have the whole night to ourselves. That hasn’t happened in a long time.

Thing One: [grunt???]

Me: We could have dinner. We could watch a movie. We could just hang out.

Thing One: Mom?

Me: Yes?

Thing One: You need a blow up man doll.

With a quick search on Amazon.com we discovered that for just $4.95 (plus shipping), you too, can own your own Perfect Inflatable Man!

After much hysterical laughter and good natured ribbing, we made it home and went our separate ways: Thing One to his TV and Xbox. Me to my #wineparty (alas, without a blow up man doll!).

I love my kid.

misty said...

I sent my best friend since grade school a valentines card wishing her a happy VDAY cus I knew it would be a hard one since she won't be spending it with her fiance this year. I hope it cheers her up.

TTUNNELL said...

Me can haz book? Me sent bff long long letter. me too late :(...

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