10/13/11

It's always been my lucky day.





Today I celebrate the day my life was changed forever.  I am reminded that being a parent means a lot of the things, but one of them is this: the love I feel in my heart for my child is unconditional, uncontrollable, unbelievable and unbreakable.  (Even when you ask me for a present that is absurd.)   I see her for the girl she was, for the woman she is, and for the person she is yet to be.  I know intimately all of her gifts, her flaws, her habits, her pet-peeves, and her strengths; and it fills my heart with pride.



I wrote my first-born this letter two years ago.  Forgive me, but I feel the need to share it again today.  (I will, of course, change her age.  She'll kick my ass if I don't.  She's bitchy like that.)





Dear Bitchy,

Twenty-two years ago today your entry into this world taught me the meaning of  joy. I don’t think I can adequately describe that feeling in my heart when I first laid my eyes on you. I’ve learned so many more things from you since then.


I’ve learned how to laugh from deep down in my soul. I’ve laughed at you, I’ve laughed because of you, and of late - I’ve laughed with you.


I’ve learned the true meaning of fear, and the many faces fear has: the first STEP fear; the bicycle with no training wheels fear; the dealing with mean girls fear and the watching you enter middle school fear.
But, my darling, when you turned 16, you showed my heart the toughest meaning of fear. The kind of fear that creeps into a mother’s heart late at night and grips it so tightly it almost stops beating. I also learned to live with that fear, so that you could live your life, and make your own mistakes. (That was a tough one.) I've learned to harness that fear and turn it into hope.


You’ve also taught me that no matter how many mistakes I make, no matter how many times I embarrass you and no matter how many times I scream at you – you still love me. For that, I am most grateful.
And so, on this very special day, I want to tell you this. I loved the little girl who ran away from home to the backyard when I wouldn’t make her soup; I loved the little girl who in middle school got detention for spraying perfume on Jack Sprat; and I loved the young woman who in high school learned some tough, heartbreaking, valuable life lessons. You took them to heart and paved a new path for yourself – and that made me very, very proud.


Most importantly, I love you for who you are right now.


You are a part of my heart, my soul and my dreams. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.


Happy Birthday my darling Bitchy. I love you more than you will ever know. Well, except when you have a bitchy of your very own. Then you will know........only then.



love, 

The woman who apparently embarrasses you every chance she gets.  And is @#*#  proud of it. 






(I'm also over here today- a little field trip with Frank, if you will.)

17 comments:

Kate Hanley said...

That's beautiful. I often think about how my children have made me a better person. And I've never thanked them for that.

Lynn MacDonald said...

I love this...

By Word of Mouth Musings said...

Headed over after an intro to you from Lynn at All Fooked Up ... her new 'amuse me' series is underway and apparently you are a headliner ;)

Love the letter, my Mom wished one ten times worse than me upon me, my 9 yr old is gearing up for the role.

Rick Daley said...

Wow! That was awesome, nice writing Deb!

Happy birthday Bitchy!

Japolina said...

Love this!


P.S. Is her name really Bitchy?

aBroad said...

Happy Birthday Bitchy !
I think the best gift little Miss Bitchy ever got was having You for her Mother.
love.C

ChiTown Girl said...

Happy Birthday, Bitchy!

...even IF your mom won't sell a kidney to get you that necklace you want...

Sue said...

I remember your letter to Bitchy and I still love it! As you said, one day she will have a little Bitchy of her own, and when that happens, I do believe she won't be quite as "bitchy" to you!

Take care, Sue

Brian Miller said...

nice..happy birthday to her...and my boys have taught me much and continue to...

SkylersDad said...

That is a beautiful letter. Happy Birthday Bitchy!

Karen Harrington said...

love and love and love this. Yes, when she has her own to love, she will know.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Adorable picture! Happy birthday Bitchy!

ella said...

oh, I love this. I've been writing in a journal off and on since my daughter's birth about our adventures together. Someday I'm going to give it to her as a gift. I love the idea of writing to our children.

Happy Birthday!

Suzy said...

If my mother had ever written me a letter like that I wouldn't have made so much fun of her in my act. And on my blog. And on Twitter.

Oh WELL.

Captain Dumbass said...

My oldest is just on the cusp of where I can begin to embarrass him. I'm so looking forward to it.

Gigi said...

Happy, happy Birthday Bitchy!

I am constantly amazed at what my son has taught me and all that he's brought into my life - even when he's driving me crazy

MaryBeth said...

I agree, I don't think any of us realized the love our parents have for us until we have children.
My heart bursts for each of mine.
I miss my mom everyday.
Happy Birthday Bitchy! Hope for a healthy happy year.