Looking for Mr. Charming. (Just ignore my wrinkles…)

Dear P. Charming,

I can sense you standing in the other room, patiently waiting for me to emerge from my self-induced coma.  I can almost feel your arms as they reach to wrap themselves around me, as you pull me close and tell me that I don’t have to worry anymore…that I will no longer be alone.  I sense you there, waiting quietly for me to be ready.  And I am almost there…


First, let me just tell you a little bit more about this woman who has weathered many a perfect storm.  I feel you need to know about the fragile heart that beats inside this independent façade; and then you can decide if this woman is the one that you want to love for the rest of your life.

I’ve been alone for a long, long time.   

Yes, I have three very loud, obnoxious, bratty, wonderful, incredible and talented children who I would lay down my life for in a heartbeat.   They came into this world and showed me the true meaning of pure joy and heart stopping fear, and left behind three fairly ugly scars.  My doctor took pity on me several years ago and decided to add a larger, more hideous one when she removed anything that wasn’t nailed down.  The fact that the incision came apart and required a crazy wound-vac only added to the scar’s beauty. And so while I am still 18 in my heart, this 52 year-old body has weathered several other storms.

And while I was married for 22 years, I was very alone for most of them.  I went to parent/conferences, back to school nights, sporting events, banquets, picnics, celebrations and vacations with my children, alone.   I’ve become accustomed to spending time with myself, and have long given up making excuses for why I’ve had to do this. 

I’ve spent the last several years shedding this cloak of unhappiness and fighting like hell to reach the surface of this deep, dark ocean.  I’ve felt those tendrils from the bottom reach up to pull me back down, and found myself shaking them off with strength I never knew I had.  

While I’ve been alone each night as I lay in my bed, during the day I’ve been wrapped in the arms of some incredibly loyal and generous friends.  They have shown me that I am beautiful, loving, talented, intelligent and worthy of only the best that this world has to offer.  I, in turn, have tried my hardest to show my own children that the same is true for them.

And now, as I glance around the surface of this ocean I can feel the sun shine it’s light upon me, and it is incredible.

And so, Mr. Charming, if you are strong enough to hold this heart of mine without dropping it, by all means.

Give it a shot.  (Apparently I’m not afraid of anything…)


Candy's daily Dandy said...

Bravo girl...

He's out there. I promise.

I'm living proof.

Lori Lyons said...

Awesome. Go girl.

Anonymous said...

Good Luck Vodkamom. Don't ever give up.

phsymom said...

He will find you one day when you least expect it. Through many relationships, at the age of 41, I decided to enjoy myself. To love being just me and not worry about ever being in a relationship again.

I was good. I was happy.

The very next year I met the guy. I never expected that to happen.

Maggie May said...

I know it's the most annoying advice, but I think it is true, that if you follow your passions, interests, heart, and search to live a life that is the fullest and deepest you can, you will find the right person for you. You are awesome.

That gentleman's lady said...

Hugs Vodka!

The best thing about love truly is that it comes when you least expect it. I've been lucky to discover that a few times in my life..

Don't give up on it

Unknown said...

I LOVED this post!! I think you have actually written about my life instead of yours!!

I Keep dreaming my friend somewhere he is out there.. j

Brian Miller said...

oh i know you will woo your prince...

Anonymous said...

VM, you're high on my list of the most amazing people I know.

And sooner or later, some very lucky guy is going to come along and figure out just how amazing you are. I believe in "happily ever after", and I believe that you deserve all the happiness and ever-after-ness this world has to offer.

So when Mr. Charming comes along, you tell him that I said you deserve the very best - and if he can't give you that, he's gonna have to answer to ME.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there, Mr Charming will come along and he will find you fun, witty, intelligent and beautiful!

I was married for 13 years, most of which I spent alone with 2 small boys. Then 7 years after my divorce (and after a couple of tragic false starts) my real soulmate came along by way of a blind date, out of left field when I wasn't expecting it!

You just never know what is around the corner, and you've only got to be brave enough to peek!

Jen said...

Wow, what an incredible post.

I have been reading your blog for a long time now, I dont think I have ever commented, I nearly have a few times, but cannot stop myself this time. Why would you, a famous blogger from the U S of A want to hear from a middle aged suburban woman from Australia, never mind, here I go.

On SO MANY occasions you write the words that are in my mind and my heart, but words that I cannot for some reason articulate for myself.

I am too alone and I have three gorgeous kids, two girls then a boy, although I think mine are a little younger than yours, I think the age gap is about the same.

I work in a school office and love vodka!! (we are nearly twins, lol)

I seperated from my ex (I call him his-arseholiness) a couple of years ago. It has been a long hard road on my own but i am finally getting there.

I feel that 2012 HAS to be better. It just has to. I have also felt the nearness of another, someone that i can trust, someone that can stand beside me when things get tough, and someone that may just reach out a hand to steady me when i wobble. I have never had this before, but i can feel him in my heart. I am ready.... i think..

Anyway, good luck to you, lets both keep our eyes open and see what we can find. Blessings for an incredible 2012

Jen from Aus

Lyn Goff said...

Wishing you the happily ever after you deserve!

Sue said...

May the warm sunshine keep shining down on you because you deserve every beautiful warm ray that comes your way!!

Take care, Sue

So. Cal. Gal said...

You go, girl!!!

Suzy said...

He'd better have a fucking brother or you and I are DONE.

Kristy @Loveandblasphemy said...

I'm a cynical sort and think you'd have more luck with your letter to P. Charming if you talked more about how much you love sex. :)

Anonymous said...

And we love you "just the way your are"

Far Side of Fifty said...

let's all sing together "Someday your prince will come! " And most likely when you least expect it! :)

Scope said...

If my princess can find me I'm sure your prince can be found.

Elaine said...

The greatest part of your life is yet to be ! ! !

Angela said...

Dear Vodka Mom, I truly hope that you will find P.Charming, you deserve to find happiness and to feel the love of someone who respects you and knows how incredibly awesome you are. He's out there, please keep looking and don't give up hope.

Kathryn Magendie said...

OMG Suzy's comment made me laugh and now I forgot my profound and poignant comment - laugh!

HEre's to all your dreams to come true . . .

SkylersDad said...

He is just around the corner, probably working up the courage to ask you out!

Either that or he is watching you with night vision goggles, but I chose the first one.

Love you, hugs!

Notes From ABroad said...

He has been out there, waiting all along .. looking for Ms Right ... and there you are.
Let us know when you two find each other :)
love you.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Much love to you, brave friend. I believe your man is out there thinking similar things about his hopes for a future Mrs. C.

♥ Braja said...

My darling D...thank you for your cyber, and now real physical friendship in 2011...and boy, he'd better be a prince, or we'll kick his ass from here to breakfast time....


Mimi Lenox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mimi Lenox said...

The stronger you become the harder it is to find someone of equal strength and maturity. Men our age do not know what to do with us. After living the life you've "existed" in so long, you'll have no patience for anything remotely resembling what you left behind.
It will be frustrating.
It will be discouraging.

And then one day, soon, you will meet someone willing to hold your scars and applaud your strength.
That's the one to keep.

mollyminks said...

Go Girl! This one made me cheer and laugh. You are right on with this post. I hope you check out my blog at www.thecribhub.com where you can find luxurious and affordable baby cribs, diaper bags, and crib bedding sets.

Vodka Mom said...

Kristy- how did you KNOW? That's a little surprise I'm saving for the after dinner conversation....

Sherri said...

A little birdie told me that your Prince Charming is definitely on his way and will be there shortly :)

Hugs and you deserve all the best life has to offer.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with this next chapter, VM. I'm sure he will show up sooner than later.
(Happy New Year)

Anonymous said...

Egads. I left my husband and was alone for 15 years (give or take a few short-termers). I moved myself and my two boys-twice- bought a house, two cars, started a career and sent one off to college. All on my own.

And then, PC showed! He didn't look like I expected him to, and was several years younger than I thought he'd be. But he accepted me as I was, warts and fierce, hard - won independence and all. My boys like him and I'm looking at an empty nest in a couple years anyway. So it all worked out.

And if he hadn't come along, it would have worked out too. There are worse things than being alone as anyone in a bad relationship can attest to. You stay as cool as you are.

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