Sure they tell me everything, but can't they just ignore me like every OTHER child does to their parent?

Dear Sassy,

Let’s re-cap the most spectacular and memorable moments of that long mother/daughter road trip that nearly killed me; shall we?  (Because I adore lists, I’ve managed to whip up a top five.)

5.  I know that you’ve suffered hearing loss after those bazillion ear infections, and that the hearing loss only seems to come into play when I ask you to DO something, but that doesn’t mean you have to BLAST the music while we are in the car, for six straight hours.  (And now I am the one that is suffering from hearing loss.  What?  WHAT????)

4.  Yelling at me every time I asked you nicely if you wanted a meal is no way to prep your mother for the “I need a mani” request. Here’s a hint- you can acquire much more with sugar than with, oh, let’s say yelling.   (And tossing the nail polish I handed you on the couch only sealed the deal.)

3.  Laughing hysterically on the beach about so many things was the best way to get your mother to forget #4.  (That was the best money I spent all vacation.  Still wiping eyes…)

2.  Discovering that you had NOT spent the night somewhere in Mystic on Tuesday night but that you were actually sound asleep in the middle of the air mattress that had seriously deflated in the middle of the night was a  major (comical) relief.   The fact that we had already gone to Starbucks thinking you were somewhere in Mystic and failed to take you was not, in fact, comical to you.  (Which was unfortunate, cause we laughed our @$$es off.)

1.  But the piece de resistance surely came when you decided to play me your favorite song on your Ipod which was connected to the car radio on our ride home. And then you insisted I listen to the words.

However, I must say that you are probably the ONLY twenty year-old daughter who has the balls to blast  “Bouncing on my @ick” while her mother is in the car. 

(Yes, you totally trumped Golden Boy’s singing Justin Timberlake’s “@ick in a Box” to me while on the way home from the pool.   My ears are still burning.)


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

One of my favorite parenting memories was on a road trip home from a water polo tournament with three boys and two girls. They played musical iPods and they felt okay with blasting, "My Dick Is . . ." We all laughed.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hahahahaha.... I can't believe she did that... and you didn't wreck the car laughing!

Looks like a great trip-- from the lobster, massage and the quality time driving.


shrink on the couch said...

Reminds me of a couple years ago, my girls were singing along to, "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" and me turning off the music and asking "what does she mean by a disco stick?" My girls giggling and me shocked that they knew what the song was talking about.

Brian Miller said...

smiles...hehe...sounds like a fun time on the beach...and with the mattress incident...lol...

PippaD said...

I'm forever going to be thinking about you listening to the words of *that* song. ROFL.

Michele said...

Can I give you a ray of hope?
On a 60 minute drive to the airport my 26 yr old son put on "his music". The first song must have been inappropriate because he promptly switch it to another song saying, "mom, you don't want to hear that one."

Sue said...

Here is a hint my friend. I want to break it to you gently though. It does NOT get any better as those kids get older! Repeat, "it does NOT get any better as those kids get older"! Then they have little babies of their own, our grand babies. And although those precious babies melt our hearts, our kids "teach" them ways to torture their poor old Mama! And least us not forget, I have to work with my kids at my store. . .sigh!

Take care my friend,

Anne said...

Goodness... even though I have read all three of the 50 Shades books, I was not ready for the lyrics of that song. Luckily my sweet teen has not yet started to venture into that musical scene yet... it is bad enough her singing along to country sex songs...and they are rated G compared to that!!!!

Cate O'Malley said...

sounds like quite the memorable trip!

Japolina said...

Road trips are like childbirth. You will soon forget the bad and only remember the good.

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Unknown said...

New follower here - love your blog -
and btw, the first time my kids made me listen to Dick in the Box I peed my pants - I thought it was hilarious!!!
But then again I am from the days of the original SNL cast - so I may be biased to that show and it's humour!!!