Let’s re-cap the most spectacular and memorable moments of that long mother/daughter road trip that nearly killed me; shall we? (Because I adore lists, I’ve managed to whip up a top five.)
5. I know that you’ve suffered hearing loss after those bazillion ear infections, and that the hearing loss only seems to come into play when I ask you to DO something, but that doesn’t mean you have to BLAST the music while we are in the car, for six straight hours. (And now I am the one that is suffering from hearing loss. What? WHAT????)
4. Yelling at me every time I asked you nicely if you wanted a meal is no way to prep your mother for the “I need a mani” request. Here’s a hint- you can acquire much more with sugar than with, oh, let’s say yelling. (And tossing the nail polish I handed you on the couch only sealed the deal.)
3. Laughing hysterically on the beach about so many things was the best way to get your mother to forget #4. (That was the best money I spent all vacation. Still wiping eyes…)
2. Discovering that you had NOT spent the night somewhere in Mystic on Tuesday night but that you were actually sound asleep in the middle of the air mattress that had seriously deflated in the middle of the night was a major (comical) relief. The fact that we had already gone to Starbucks thinking you were somewhere in Mystic and failed to take you was not, in fact, comical to you. (Which was unfortunate, cause we laughed our @$$es off.)
1. But the piece de resistance surely came when you decided to play me your favorite song on your Ipod which was connected to the car radio on our ride home. And then you insisted I listen to the words.
However, I must say that you are probably the ONLY twenty year-old daughter who has the balls to blast “Bouncing on my @ick” while her mother is in the car.
(Yes, you totally trumped Golden Boy’s singing Justin Timberlake’s “@ick in a Box” to me while on the way home from the pool. My ears are still burning.)