3/4/13

Put on your big girl pants and quit whining. (Mother's know best. I think.)



She loved gardenias.

I remember that.

I saw a beautiful one in Trader Joe’s yesterday that I couldn’t resist.  I picked it up carefully and took it to the register. I try not to spend money on frivolous purchases, but I’ve been feeling a need for my mother’s arms and for some reason thought that having this near me would bring me a smile to my face and bring my mother close to me.

She loved wisteria; forsythia, roses, big hats, cooking, baking, canning, sewing, dancing, entertaining, smiling, laughing and a good martini. She lived life to the fullest, and reminded me each day about what it was like to be human.  She’s the one who taught me, by hysterical example, to make at least one or two huge mistakes each day (Keeps us humble, n’est pas?) and to always do things for others.

I have some days when I struggle to remember the feel of her arms around me.  I still listen, very carefully for the sound of her voice.  I close my eyes and remember her standing in the kitchen with an apron tied around her waist, cooking and laughing while on the phone at the same time.

I often wonder what advice she would offer if we were to sit on my couch sipping cups of coffee.  I know she would reach out and brush my bangs out of my eyes, and look at me with love and affection.  I know she would tell me how proud she is of the woman I am.  I would also like to think she’d tell me to stop whining; to be thankful for what I have and to get out and do someone for someone else.  I think she would.  

But I honestly don’t know.

And I think that is what makes my heart ache the most.

Because I can’t quite put my finger on what she might say.  Her voice and thoughts are a distant memory that I reach for so often, but never quite seem to touch.



But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop tying. 




(This is something Sassy sent ME.  And it made me think of my own mother.... It's worth the listen. But bring tissues...)



15 comments:

Lyn Goff said...

That Sassy is pretty sweet. What a wonderful tribute to both of you.
Lyn

SkylersDad said...

Beautiful song for a beautiful person.

Sue said...

That Sassy is a good kid and tht song is pretty special. Every Saturday night after I get off work, I stop by the Von's by my house. I pick up some dinner, maybe a Corona or two. When the checker asks for my Von's card, I ask if the phone number is okay. Then I give her my Mom and Dad's old phone number (they had a Von's card forever) and the checker will always say, "thank you Mrs. Moore", my Mom's name. It kind of warms my heart.

Take care. . .

Amy said...

Thanks for sharing.. well written and touching...

ChiTown Girl said...

{{hugs}}

Brian Miller said...

i know my wife often feels much the same in regards to her mom...

hugs...

The Girl Next Door said...

Leaving work early to go hug my mom. Because I know I am blessed to have an awesome mom, but this made me need to go get one more hug... And hugs to you.

Anna See said...

I know, Sweetie, I know. Sending you love. xoxo

Rene Foran said...

Mom is proud of you, doll
for doing as she did :)

#1Nana said...

Just wait until you have grandchildren...I hear my mother's voice when I read my old books to my grandchildren. I know I recite AA Milne poetry in the cadence of my mother.

noexcuses said...

Sassy, you are a keeper! What a wonderful tribute! Got any extra tissue?

Suzie said...

That was very sweet. I hope the flowers helped you feel a little closer to her.

Ms. Changes Pants While Driving said...

Oooof. My heart.

Chris H said...

Awww what a lovely post, and OMG... Lauren Alaina can sing!!!

luckeyfrog said...

Sometimes I feel the same way about my dad. It's been so long since I heard his voice that I've kind of forgotten what it sounds like, and that hurts.

Thinking of you!

Jenny
Luckeyfrog's Lilypad