Oh my darling.
I had some hopes that you would be in college forever. That you would live down the street with your roommates, call me every other day and beg for food, ask me to do your laundry and we would see each other so much I would complain about it.
But life changes things, doesn’t it?
I called you this morning to congratulate you on your LAST day of college classes when the other students at my school were talking about it! I had forgotten! Sure, you participated in the “five year program” thanks to your mother who insisted you major in chemistry (Didn’t the mom learn a lesson…) but the plan seems to have backfired. You are now DONE.
However, the fact that you worked your ass off with two jobs while STILL maintaining a full time student status was not lost on me. And while I won’t brag on Facebook and embarrass you to no end, words can’t adequately express how much I admire you. You are an amazing young woman.
You’re my firstborn. You’re my darling. You’re my light and my life. I am proud of everything you do, of who you are, and I embrace all that is good and adore all that is not.
And when you told me you were leaving to move to Boulder for the summer, I told you how proud I was of you and how much I supported any decision you would make.
And then my heart stopped.
I know that our lives are changing; yet again. (And there is no turning back.)
I have known this day would come, and yet I am still not ready. We have fought, screamed, laughed and cried. We’ve been enemies and the very best of friends. We have shared more than a mother and daughter should share, and are still standing and loving each other.
However, I want you to know this.
I will support you, no matter what decisions you make- good or bad- because those decisions will make you who you are. You have a journey, one you have to walk with confidence, courage and independence. Be strong, be brave, listen to your heart and your fear; it will serve you well.
But I am here. As always, I will be right here for you.
Just try not to hurt yourself. PLEASE. And always, ALWAYS trust your instincts.
As much as I adore Dateline, I don’t ever, ever, EVER want to be ON it.