I finally found the perfect partner. (And she looks remarkably like ME.)

It’s taken me three years and plenty of frogs to make an amazing discovery.  (It also took dozens of little observations to allow myself to see to the big picture.)  My perfect partner?  Well, she’s about 5’2”, a bit bruised and battered, walks with a slight limp, is tons of fun and a tad quirky.  (Here’s a hint- she LOVES vodka.)  

Yeah, it’s me. 

I’ve held true to the belief that in order to live life and perhaps along the road find a kind and loving companion, you have to say “yes” to certain invitations and give people chances –and hopefully they’ll give you a chance.  (I also have to put myself out there and initiate invitations myself!) While I have been a bit jostled in the process, I’ve also laughed and smiled on many more occasions. 

At this point in my journey, I like these particular qualities in myself:

1.     I do NOT own a Harley, a Honda, or a Yamaha motorcyle.  Sure, many people LOVE them; I’m just not one of them. (I fit into a tiny, tiny group of divorced people who did NOT run out and buy a motorcycle. Frankly, that group consists mostly of women…and we MIGHT, however, have a few more pairs of shoes.)
2.    I did not move in with anyone a week or a month after ending a marriage.   I am also not living with the person I am trying so very hard to divorce.  (Call me crazy, but that’s not appealing…)
3.    I do not post ten year-old pictures of myself on various dating websites, nor do I claim to be ten years younger than I actually am.    (Believe it or not, you sometimes can tell a person’s true age…)
4.    I do not want to date anyone ten or fifteen years younger than me.  Really, I don’t.  (If you don’t know the names Bobby Sherman, Davy Jones, Gilda Radner or Boz Scaggs, we might not be compatible.)
5.    I don’t have “the love of my life” hiding in the closet somewhere ready to come back to me whenever he feels like it. (Frankly, I’m waiting for the love of my life.)
6.     If I ask you out on a date, I won’t sit at the bar and watch the TV monitor the whole time.  (Sweet Cheezus, I know why some men are still single.)

At this point I’ve decided to plan a lovely evening with myself.   And you know what?  I might even splurge on a new pair of shoes…..


Unknown said...

Debbie, another prized piece of writing_from your heart. Simply, loved your thoughts; although not divorced, I am still "single," and can relate on many levels .

You should be writing for The New York Times, Cosmo, Glamour, and frankly writing a book all your own!

Sister, Beverly

Unknown said...

I think you're my soulmate :)


lisahgolden said...

From the newly-divorced, thank you for the laughs and a good dose of honesty about what it's like to be out there.

Brian Miller said...

hey you, if you are going to date yourself, make sure you do it with style...smiles...you are going to be alright VM

SkylersDad said...

I continue to be amazed at the guys who are treating so poorly, and who should be doting over you in all ways.

And I feel like I have to apologize for my gender yet again.

NancyI said...

Don't forget how long you held on, "hoping to make it work". These are guys who some other woman, whom you would probably like, finally gave up on.

Gigi said...

You know, I'm pretty certain that once you realize that you are your own best partner and begin to measure "potentials" against that - you will quickly weed out the undesirables and hone in on those that meet or exceed your standards.

And as for the new shoes? Well, you know you have my blessing!

leggs said...

Yep, four years of widowhood and a year of Match.com under my belt entitles me to say that you are not alone. I certainly understand why these jokers are still single, they can't even write a decent profile or pick out a photo that a female would be remotely attracted to. Shirtless, pudgy middle aged men on Harley don't get me hot. Do they get ANYONE hot, for goodness sake? Let's just collect shoes and forget men!

Scope said...

It could be worse.

HE realize his mistake and try to come back.

Marissa said...

Treat her right--I hear she's a keeper!

lisa said...

You could always get a couple of cats, and then no one will doubt you are happy alone!!

lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chris H said...

ONYA girl! I hope you got new shoes too.

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