It's true- laughter IS the best medicine. If you haven't visited Marinka, then you haven't lived.
There are people out there, mythical creatures, who delight in helping new parents. All under the guise of friendship. II don’t know what kind of scam they’re running, but I wish they’d knock it the hell off.
Because when I was a new mom, many years ago, these people descended upon me and fed me load upon load of unadulterated bull&@^@.
See, my daughter was a terrible sleeper. She’d wake up every few hours, not crying, but sort of chatting. It was almost as though the 90 minutes that she’d slept from 7:30 until 9:00 pm were enough to sustain her and although she’d fall back asleep eventually, she’d be up before 6 am for good.
And instead of being truly compassionate and saying “sorry you got a sleep freak child, Marinka, how about I treat you to a Starbucks or anything else you may want” these “helpful” “friends” would lie and say things like “she’ll grow out of it!” and “by the time she’s a teenager, you won’t even remember this!”
Well, my daughter is now almost a teenager and let me tell you something: She is still a freakishly early riser and I still remember every bitter morning that I had to get up early when she was a toddler.
As a matter of fact, the only way that I will ever forget her sleeping habits is if I have a stroke or early onset dementia. Both probably caused by errant sleeping habits. (Just kidding, sweetie, if you’re reading this! I love being your mom and wouldn’t trade a second of it! Except those super-early morning seconds, of course. They are totally up for grabs!)
But seriously. Let’s stop Pollyannaing new parents. Being a new mom is hard. Yes, it’s wonderful, too, of course, and none of us would trade the experience for the world, but sleep issues can break the best of us. Let’s acknowledge it and stop sugarcoating it. Yes, new parents, you’ll get through it. And there is help out there (thank you, Dr. Ferber!) But you’ll have flashbacks forever.
