Last night’s conversation with Bitchy (18); keep in mind, I had a COMPLETE hysterectomy last summer, but that’s another blog entirely.
Me: I’m feeling a little crampy, or something. It’s weird.
Bitchy: How can that happen? You don’t have a vagina.
Me: Honey, it was my uterus they took. I have a vagina, and believe me, it still works. Just ask your dad.
Bitchy: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (running away screaming.)
Ha. I just love to gross her out.
158 comments:
This is hilarious.
That's disgusting!
No, not the post. That's funny.
I just looked down, and you have
SEVEN HUNDRED NINETY-SEVEN followers!!!
Holy hell woman!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Best.Conversation.Ever
Classic and cruel, I love it!
She really stepped in it this time.
Lol, very good, guaranteed to disturb 'em!
Yup - mention you have a sex life and they run screaming from the room.
Well, it works for me, anyway.
BWAH!!!
Everyone knows moms don't have sex... Well, maybe once or twice to reproduce, but they sure don't LIKE it...
Haha oh my gosh VM! HAhahhahhahaha her reaction was definitely one I'd have if my mum said that to me! Hahahhaha you made me LOL (I never write lol unless I'm actually lolling!) Always great for a laugh.
Hilarious...this reminds me of a similar conversation with my daughter a few years back while riding in a car and she was so grossed out she jumped over the front seat into the back
Nice to know there is still a way to reach teens!
Brilliant! Now if we could only find a way to have that conversation at the breakfast table. Exxxtra gross points!
It is a lot of fun isn't it? Hell all we have to do is start kissing and my 18 year old is grossed out.
Lordy! You do have 797 followers. I THOUGHT I WAS UP EARLY!! Do you people sleep??
I had a hysterectomy Jan 5th this year. My 15 yr old.. had taken a pix of my belly button and drawn a smiley face on it.. Just last night she showed me on her cell phone, how she will look at that when she's blue..
I have crampy issues, too. Monthly still. Explain that! The doctor can't.
Oh.. At least you have a hubby that knows (and I'm laughing out loud right now at what exactly you meant by ...) .."it still works. Just ask your dad."
I know mine still works.. Just ask Gigi over at Lelo.com OMG!! Can't believe I said that!!!
God bless the good dad who knows that 'it' works! Does he have a brother?
Oh.. Also, the belly button pix serves as a reminder/distraction of the abdominal incision a few inches below it -that GROSSES her out.
Excellent work. You may consider yourself done for the week.
LOL!!
Bitchy just doesn't realize how the free material she's collecting for when she has teens!
Ha ha! Yep, that'll do it! :-)
Behold the power of pussy.
797, 798, 799, 800... Now how in the heck did you manage to get all those followers? Amazingly wonderful!!
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
You are a girl after my own heart! Nothing is more fun then grossing out the teens!
Utterly hilarious. Once when I was small (and a complete tomboy) I asked my grandmother why women had to have breasts (I think I used the term "boobs"). I was just hitting purberty and considering my grandmother's ample chest, I was already annoyed. "They are there to feed babies," she said me, to which I immediately demanded to know why they weren't just cut off after they weren't needed anymore. My grandmother laughed.
OMG--I am cracking up! Very, very funny stuff~
Ewww. Blushing and hiding eyes. I'm with Bitchy.
I'm 34 years old and MY parents still tell me stuff like that!
Old people sex is way worse!
Love It!!
She so deserves it!! So much fun, after they have been grossing us out for years!!
Awesome. I can't wait for those "embarrass your kid" years!
OMG...laughed right out loud in the office, everyone staring....good one!
I love it!
My older daughter and I have an unspoken deal. I pretend she's not having sex and she pretends I'm not either. (and I bet I'm having more than she is! heheheh)
So glad I'm not the only one. Had a conversation with my daughter and her friend while shoe shopping two weeks ago. The friend was commenting on dd's feet being much smaller than mine. She told her friend she took after her father and I had to add that it's really not true what they say about the size of a man's foot. THe girls are 26 and still were grossed out. You just have to do that sometimes!
That is too funny!!! right now my daughter gives me the "look" if I mention "boobies" - yup...she finally got some!!! {what is sad..she will probably have a better rack than mine!!}
LOVE YOUR POSTS!!!
Rick, LOL.... you kill me.
And Debbie, I bet they are phantom menstrual cramps, like when you get a leg amputated. Really!
lol, that's great!!!
LOL!!! Baby, I love you!
Fabulous! Simply FABULOUS!!!!
this post =full of win!
Hey, I gross my 18 year old daughter out with parental sex talk too and I don't have a uterus either! Small world!
She soo deserved that.
Throwing in some stray comment about a vibrator works also...
NICE! Doesn't top when I walked into my mom's room (I was about 16) and saw a condom wrapper thrown hurriedly onto the middle of the floor.
"At least we're being safe" my mom said.
Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!
ha! perfection! it's why we have kids!
"You don't have a vagina"!?!?! OH MY GOD, I'm dying!! HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Lol, that is too funny! Poor child, I have one of those 18 yr.olds too! ; )
Haha.
Yup, I still freak out if Mom mentions sex with my Dad. One time I found KY Jelly sitting on her dresser and I about gagged.
tell her you didn't have a vaginaectomy! this is too funny!
smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
tell her ferme la bouch! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ps
Totally awesome!
I have a 19 year old ... I know all too well how they can be.
I absolutely adore grossing out my teenage daughters (15 & 16).
My concern is that it will ultimately cost me a fortune in therapy for them.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hilarious. Totally.
Though admittedly I'm SERIOUSLY CONCERNED about her freakin' BIOLOGY education...WTF?????
OMG... love it... I would totally say something like that... but if my MOM said that? I think I would have to throw up a little bit...
You entertain and frighten me with your candor. Well done.
You and her are now even.
Excellent. Bwahahahahaha. That's a great big GROSS for an 18-year-old.
Have a terrific day. :)
I don't think I have a vagina. I have to look. Be right back.
I'm with you. Especially when they come barging in unannounced.
Oh, Vodka Mom ... you're bad. That's hysterical!
you just made my whole freakin' day...for real. MY.WHOLE.DAY.
Don't they still teach sex-ed to students in high school? I'm pretty s sure I knew the difference between a vagina and a uterus... somehow I suspect she does but just wanted to make some snippy comment to you...
perfect response ;) lol
That is damn funny. There is a definite big difference between a uterus and a vagina. He he
LMAO! My seventeen year old son ran into me in the hall one early morning... I was wearing pants and a bra, but no top yet. He insists that I have brain damaged him for life. Geez... and it wasn't even one of the sexy bras.
Found it.
Niiiiice! I like your style.
I can't wait to gross my kids out! They are too young,but I am going to try to remember that line!
Love it! Hope you're feeling lighter today.
Teachers have vaginas??? Really? I think I may have been called one a couple of times! :)
Check out my granddaughter's kindergarten graduation picture and post on The Renaissance Chick today! Wish you could have her in your classroom in "Oregon"! :)
Malisa
Kaching! That's for all the times they gross us out, keep up the good work!
I'll have to remember that one. Thanks for the tip.
ewweee!! You know I don't like talk about bodies or innards!
Guess Mz. B wouldn't be a bit interested in watching you do your Kegels then, hunh? :)
Yeah, that would do it.
Who does she think she is? Jesus?
i, too was spayed. best present i ever gave to myself. just tell her it's like a bat cave now. for batman. :)
and HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
dirty. i love it.
Don't you love the peace and quiet once they run away from you screaming locking themselves in their bedrooms??
Absolutely perfect!!!
LOL I was here :-))
Hilarious as usual.
Fabulous. I love you.
Not quite there yet, but looking forward to grossing out my teen in the near future!!!!!
Haha time for a martini!
OMG!!!! You still have sex??!!!
That must drive your kids crazy!!!
Wait. You have 3 kids. So you've had sex 3 times, right?
I love to mess with teenagers...it's what makes them worth having around. And being someone who's gotten rid of three of them and still has a six year old, I will do it all over again. :)
Split Incision? Ewwwwwwwww!!
I cringe just thinking about it!
It was all Bitchy's fault!
Grannie
Does she confuse mastectomy with vasectomy too?
I'm with Bitchy - that's just WRONG mommy!
I found something while visiting my parents last summer that I really never, ever wanted to know about...so this doesn't change as you get older.
Ow. My dad passed in 2002 at the age of 78, and in her grief shortly after my mom talked to me about their intimate life in recent years. [nothing weird, pretty mainstream, but private] It was at the same time sweet and touching, but also way TMI.
It was a weird feeling. I was glad to know that they shared such a deep love, but I also really didn't want that in my head.
eeeeeeewwwwuuh! (just like a teenager would say)
AWESOME!
and how interesting it would be if hysterectomy=no vagina...hmmm...
Seriously she thought you didn't have a vajayjay anymore? THAT is hilarious!
That is freakin' hilarious!!!!!!! Thanks for the laugh!
LOL!!!
That's got to be the best part of being a parent. I can't wait to gross out my kids =P
You. Are. My. Hero!
That is priceless!
Ha ha ha ha ha aha ha.......... , I can't stop laughing!
That is fabulous! She so deserved that. Did you tell her you have the pics to prove it?
Awesome! I'm using that on my 15yr old. HA.
Too funny!
That's fabulous! Good to know you can still grab her attention!
Definitely an asked-for-it.
Always good to be reminded that your parents still get jiggy with it!
Why should it gross them out that we too have a life!
haha, that is SOOO funny, I loved your come back.
Just to put this out there...that will gross out your daughter at any age. No kid wants to think about their parents "doing it." That calls for a case of mental floss. Hilarious post though!
LOL! I think it is still a bit scary to think yo9ur parents did it.
You rock, you're hilarious!
Oh yeah...that is a great tip. Bet it works tenfold for our sons. LMAO!
This is hilarious! I can just picture your daughter running out of the room!
That's hilarious. But really, why does the idea of parents having sex send the teens running for the barf-bucket? After all, if we didn't do it once in a while, they wouldn't be here!
O, that's funny.....I look forward to the day, lol.
Happy SITS day!
Ha! Love it! I look forward to grossing out my kiddies someday. As it is, they get all antsy when hubs and I kiss. Wait until they figure out what else we do.
Bwahahahaha. My teen might have fainted dead away on the spot. She can't even handle it when we kiss close enough for her to hear. Occasionally we stand by her bedroom door and make loud wet smacking sounds, not even actually kissing, just sounds like we're chewing eachother's faces off. Truly cringe inducing.
Your line was classic! I love it.
Although the snort worthy part of that conversation was her thinking they removed your vagina!
She totally deserved that one.
Visiting you from SITS Congrats on your special day.
Parents never fail to embarass! As one of my daughters would say "Too much information Mum."
LOL My first response was also "Eewww!" Guess I was reading as though I were your daughter. Too funny. :)
Have an Extraordinary Day!
Love it! It never fails to entertain when we 'enlighten' our children on the way of the world...including our world..imagine that..parents do have life after kids...somewhat! Stopping by from SITS!!
That's AWESOME!!! Totally something my mother would have done to me and I'm sure something I'm going to do to my kids someday!!!
HAHA! I love it! Very funny.
Happy SITS day!
I can see how she got the name "bitchy". ;)
So freakin' funny. I remember being 18 too... aren't we all bitchy at that age (for no good reason).
Happy FB day!
That's funny. I wonder why kids find it gross to think of their parents having sex...how do they think they got here.
HAPPY SITS DAY!!
Isn't it funny how kids today are totally open to hearing about sex...unless it involves their parents?!
~Liz
I'm so gonna use that when I have kids.
I wonder if she ever did ask dad?
I think I'm more scared that she thought you didn't have a vagina anymore! Lol, too funny!
There are a few pleasures to having teenagers...grossing them out is one of the best. LOL
LOL Awesome!
That will go down in the Rockin' Mom Hall of Fame!
Hahaha, well done.
That is hilarious. Sometimes it's so easy, isn't it?
Stopping by from SITS.
Oh, so, so awesome!!! And I have a bitchy, 19 year old and I've had a hysterectomy, too. I might just have to set her up somehow and then steal your lines!
That's hilarious! Great comeback! Happy SITS day!
Happy SITS Day! And yes, that is disgusting LOL. Sounds like something my mom would say (and I'm 32!)
Classic!
Poor uninformed Bitchy.
OMG, that is awesome. I just love it. Yanno, my mom used live to gross me out, and I am looking forward to embarrassing my girls. Hey, it's the whole coming of age thing.
Too funny........(there's nothing worse than thinking about your parents 'making out!')
I am stifling my laughter SO HARD right now (I'm at work, laughter/fun is discouraged)....omg.
BAHAHAHAHAHA I just keep laughing, thinking about the fact that she thought you had your vag removed...LOL
Ugh..if my mom ever said that to me I would die lol. Stopping by from SITS
LOL I can't wait to do these things with my daughter. Well not the hysterectomy part but the grossing out part.
I'm grossed my girls out, um, a time or two ;).
that's SO FUNNY!
Hee, hee! Score one for mom! Happy SITS Day!
HA HA HA! It's even funnier when you say that stuff to your 18 year old son! (You can really test their gag reflexes that way!)
Hilarious and totally priceless! Happy SITS day!
Oh man, I used to haaaaate it when my parents said things like that.
Hahahahahahaha!
AWESOME. :)
Nice. I'm so excited to do that to my daughters when they're older!
Happy SITS day, congrats! I was happy to see your name up there.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! That is hilarious!
Stopping by from SITS
I am SO looking forward to these kinds of conversations with my daughters. They are only 2 & 7 but still!
Happy SITS day!
SO, how much did that cost you in therapy for her? hahaha
I remember telling my Mom she was too old for sex when she was 43.
She looked at me and said, "Honey you never get too old for that."
Yeah. . . great. . . that visual scarred me. . . . $4,000 in therapy sessions later, shock treatments didn't work! hahaha
Bahahahahaha!
This sounds JUST LIKE something my mom would have said to me at 18.
Her favorite pastime? Bringing up certain sexual acts in front of my husband. Because he turns BEET RED. And then we all laugh. Everyone wins. Except him, I guess.
That was so funny. I love grossing out my kids' out.
I'm sure your daughter will never forget that one! Ha!
Very funny! She'll get good mileage out of that story one day, too.
I love it!!! I have three boys 21, 19, 17 and one daughter 16 in March...and I am always looking for new ways to gross them out...especially my daughter.
By the way...I had a total hysterectomy 2 years ago...drop me a line sometime...maybe we can share some hotflash stories! lol
TOO freakin' funny!
That is awesome!
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