7/6/09

He didn't stand a chance...


I just spent a couple of days visiting my little brother. Although he’s now 45 years old, he will always be our little “garcon.”


He’s the youngest of three – the son my parents were thrilled to finally conceive. We were living in the south of France, while my father served as a JAG officer. When he was born, the nurse in attendance announced to my mother (who spoke not a WORD of French) “C'est un garçon ! Un grand garçon!” Which I’m pretty sure means “big boy!” For years to follow my older sister and I would relentlessly tease “garcon” by insisting that the French “gendarmerie” were going to come for him when he was 21 to take him back to France.


This is the brother who also sold “peeks” into the bathroom keyhole when my sister and I were taking baths in our teens. He always received more money when my sister was the star. (She was more “blessed” than I.)


This is the brother who tried to teach our large white rabbit “Snowflake” to climb a tree when he was in kindergarten. Unfortunately for the rabbit, he didn’t give up.


This is the brother who put his arm through a glass door during a fourth of July party not long after Snowflake’s Memorial Service.


This is the brother who buried his father’s ANTIQUE TOOLS (that he’d inherited from HIS father) in our quite expansive back yard. Many were not recovered. In fact, I don’t think they found ANY of them.


This is the brother that would hide his poopy underwear in the closet so that our mother wouldn’t know he was pooping his pants in second grade. Unfortunately, the smell almost KILLED her one day when she attempted to clean said closet. It took a fifth of vodka to revive her.


This is the boy who would catch tons of fish in the backyard canal when we lived in Florida, and release them into our pool. (Along with the snakes, baby snapping turtles and objects we have YET to name.)


This is also the young man who lost his father when he was 14, and his mother when he was 21.


Brother - I am so very sorry that K. and I were not there to guide you through your grief. I was wallowing in my own sorrow and trying to find my way back after being cast adrift on that lonely sea of heartbreak. I didn’t even realize that I was not the only boat out there.


I love you more than words can say – and I hope you take comfort in the fact that mom and dad are surely proud of the man you have become. K. and I are very proud.


You are an incredible man, and yet when I look at you, you know who I see.


The boy who killed Snowflake.




73 comments:

Kathy B! said...

I wish that I had a brother or at least a son... the swimming, wiggling crap that I am pulling out of our pool would best be handled by a male :)

Anonymous said...

My brother does things like that all the time! And it's SOO annoying! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I forgot to say, that we call him Mouse. Because when he was little and we held him in front of the mirror he couldn't say his name right and instead he said Mouse! He's now ten years old and can perfectly say his name...We still call him Mouse and he gets VERY annoyed (especially when he's in front of his friends).

Michel said...

Vodka! Your post made me tear up and then laugh out loud. Very well done.

However, in his defense, why wouldn't Snowflake just pay attention and LEARN!? It would have been easier for all involved, frankly.

2 Brits, 2 Yanks, 2 Dogs said...

I think your brother might be related to mine.

mo.stoneskin said...

Rabbits are such lazy bastards.

KrisGC said...

Those boys, they are mischievous aren't they, but dispite all that they do as children, they do grow into men we can be proud of huh?!

Julia said...

we never really grow up...you are just the "realist" writer ever. i know that brother loves you. and i am sorry you all lost your parents at an early age.

Boozy Tooth said...

I only spit slightly more saliva at my laptop over the last line than I did about Snowflake's memorial service.

Dadgummit, you are a freaking riot. How you can write a post about your brother and make it so funny and moving and heartbreaking at the same time is beyond me. It's a gift, I tell ya. A gift.

Roshni said...

I'm sorry too that you all lost your parents so early...and I totally understand that you still don't forgive him!!

Formerly known as Frau said...

I think you had a brother of all brothers! I always wanted one, I come from a family of five girls. You really had to sleep with one eye open with that one?

Anonymous said...

Awwww.... what a sweet post. Come by and see my latest, VM!

Unknown said...

Touching and funny all at once!

You can't blame yourself though for nopt thinking about him and his feelings. Grief is an awful creature and affects many in different ways. You did the only thing you knew how ti in order to get through it all. That was to take care of yourself. There is nothing wrong with that and I hope you have released some of the guilt. Surely he has no ill feelings towards you

cheatymoon said...

Teary and laughing at the same time... darn you, VM.
Very nicely done. I'm sure your brother is just awesome.

Irish Gumbo said...

A lovely and touching tip o' the hat to your bro. He's a lucky man!

"The Boy Who Killed Snowflake" - could be the title of Tim Burton's next movie!

WeaselMomma said...

It sounds like your house was never a boring place to be while growing up.

Anonymous said...

A moving and humorous tribute to your brother. Thanks for sharing it.

And I'm sorry you lost your parents at such a young age.

Teacher Mommy said...

I, too, blame Snowflake for being such a slow learner. Survival of the fittest and all that.

Unknown said...

Frankly Vodka Mom,my computer is getting sick and tired of me spitting coffee all over its keyboard every time I read your posts!

Agree with Irish Gumbo about Tim Burton's new movie title, for sure.

The Gaelic Wife said...

Snowflake! His Rosebud?

Unknown said...

You took me from laughter to tears in a New York sec. Well done!
Loved the part about antique tools and the poopy underwear.
Will we ever get the details of how Snowflake passed?!?!? My imagination is running wild.

Crazy Mo said...

That was hilarious. My little brother sold peep show tickets too. Obviously it's a guy thing. Your brother must be cringing with the poopy pants story. Good one. Revenge is sweet, ain't it?

Mrs. E said...

You make me laugh and cry at the same time. I'm not sure how someone loses both parents at such a young age and survives.

Anonymous said...

you are blessed to have a good relationship with your brother.

His Sweetheart said...

oh, that is so sweet :)

Bobby G said...

GREAT post! Happy bday bro!!!

Mango Girl said...

Very nice post...we should all be so lucky to have a brother like that, or a sister like you.

For Myself said...

Beautiful. Now as a grown man he understands you were all paddling furiously in that sea, each in your own way.

It wasn't your job.

But protecting Snowflake may have been... Just sayin'!

Everyday Goddess said...

Your family must have been a great place to call home. Maybe not for Snowball though.

thatgirlblogs said...

I wish your brother would kick my brothers arse.

zelzee said...

Brothers certainly do make growing up more interesting.

Susan said...

He was pooping his pants because he was so afraid of the gendarmes coming to get him!

Loved this post!

Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) said...

Why can't rabbits climb up trees???

Louise | Italy said...

nice post - i have tears in my aperitivo...

LPC said...

Ah, brothers. My sister and I used to switch the salt and the sugar when babysitters came. Making my brother eat sugar on his spaghetti and then promising we had fixed it and making him eat salt on his strawberries. He's a psychoanalyst now. Do we get credit for his brilliance? No. Huh.

As Cape Cod Turns said...

Ahhhh, brothers. At least he let you stay with him and it sounds like you survived your vacation!

That Janie Girl said...

Snowflake Killer, huh?

I think I saw a wanted poster for him the other day in the post office.

The Girl Next Door said...

I have missed your amazing wit and ability to make me laugh and cry within 30 seconds of each other while i have been on bloggy break. I think perhaps he is the "blessing in the thorns" I've heard about? He truly did some class-A tricks as a youngster! So happy for you that you have a great relationship. Brothers are awesome.

Stepfanie said...

Awesome Blog!!! Stopping by from SITS!

I'm having my first giveaway, it's a Personalized Mommy Blogger Tote, enter at my blog at www.stepfaniestimeout.com

The Seeker said...

I always wanted a slightly older brother. So that I could date his friends.

Anonymous said...

Poor Snowflake.

Maggie May said...

God you killed me there at the end. To have lost both parents by 21.... I can't imagine.

Desert Songbird said...

Heh. I can relate to your brother. I am the youngest of five daughters, and believe me when I tell you that after my parents died, I gained four mothers. My 20s were a real challenge.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Well, the old "Is craziness created by nature/nurture" debate can finally be settled. Definitely genetic. :)

Keyona said...

I never know whether to laugh or cry.

LegalMist said...

laughing and crying at the same time...

PhilB said...

That is so sweet! It makes me wish I had older sisters that would have tortured me.

I probably would have killed snowflake too...haha

Great post,

Phil

Maureen at IslandRoar said...

Aw, I missed out on so much by not having a brother. Very touching tribute.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the smiles and glimpses at memories so similar to my own. I am the oldest of four, the only boy being the baby. So many of my own childhood memories mimic yours. More importantly though, so does my love for my baby brother and I am desperately proud of him. He turned 29 this year.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Snowflake sounds like such a pansy-ass.

Sue said...

Your brother sounds like my youngest of my three kids, two daughters and Bryce. When he was little, I too could go on and on about the stuff he did. I loved the story, the part about your parents, and then about Snowflake in the end was bittersweet.
Take care, Sue

Adrienne said...

I thought my little brother was pesky, but at least he didn't kill any bunnies.

buffalodick said...

We didn't call each other "brother" or "sister"..we referred to each other as the "competition"....

Expat mum said...

Aah - that almost brought tears to my eyes!
BTW - vodka doesn't smell does it? I know that because I fainted on a flight to Mexico one time (long story) and the stupid flight attendant was wafting a miniature vodka under my nose to try to revive me!

The Renaissance Chick said...

Awwww! How sweet! You do love your brother after all! Don't you just love boys and their antics? This was a very special post for a very special bunny killer!

Malisa

Fragrant Liar said...

That brought a bunch of big tears to my eyes. Especially the part about Snowflake. I have three brothers just like that.

Sweet of you to acknowledge your bro's pain, girlie. I'll bet he needed it, even if he may have said he didn't.

for a different kind of girl said...

I wish I'd have known of the reviving powers of vodka last year when I was uncovering mysterious underwear packages in my young son's room!

This makes me equal parts sad and glad I have only a sister!

Ann Imig said...

Such a great tribute.

Lynn said...

This is my first visit to your blog. A kindergarten teacher will NEVER run out of stories to blog about!
Coming back!

The Mind of a Mom said...

First time I have heard of a man killing a bunny by trying to put him up a tree... LoL
Happy B'Day to your bro

Joanie said...

lol

Okay, the killer of Snowflake...the poor guy. Will he ever live that down?

♥ Braja said...

I'm on the old man's computer. Just sayin'.... :))

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Suzy said...

Yes, you did have company.

This was such a funny post. It's possible your brother killed MY rabbit Christopher as well.

tamilyn said...

Sure, I start to cry when I read how proud you are of him and that your parents would be proud THEN I read that you will always look at him and see the boy that killed Snowflake. Yes, then I started laughing. You tell such good stories!

Pseudo said...

How did I miss this post? It's beautiful and poignant and funny all at the same time. Loved it.

BTW... Can you read the posts by Anonymous? Chinese?

Barrie said...

Ahhh..you are quite the family! I would love to attend a reunion....with my camera!

Elle said...

Obviously, a defective rabbit. Loved your post.

Jeanne Estridge said...

My little brother sold my dad's antique silver dollar collection to the kids in the neighborhood for a quarter apiece. (Not gifted at math, that boy.)

He was 12 when Mom died....

Vodka Logic said...

A beautiful post... you are lucky to have each other

Notes From ABroad said...

I Love This SO Much !
:)

C

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