2/23/10

Naps are for the weak...

(This is my mother, Annabelle, with HER mother...)

Have you ever had a premonition? Oh, I know we’ve all had feelings now and then, like when your heart starts being unusually fast when an ambulance goes by when your TEEN is DRIVING somewhere in town. But I am talking about spooky feelings.


It was late in February on a snowy evening that I began to have one. I had been spending my nephew’s birthday with my sister and her family. They had tragically lost him a few weeks earlier and Sassy and I had gone back to spend what would have been his 17th birthday with the family.


We had an emotional few days, and on the night before I was to leave we gathered for the birthday dinner with loved ones. After dinner, while standing on a deck that he, his father and brother had recently finished building, we released 17 balloons filled with forget-me-not seeds and wishes of love and heartache into the crisp winter night.


That night, a storm blew in. It was a wicked nor’easter, and was predicted to dump quite a lot of snow along the eastern shore.

I was scheduled to leave the next morning, but had a nagging, nagging, horrible feeling that I wasn’t to go. It woke me up over and over during the night, and wouldn’t loosen it’s grip upon my fearful heart.


I’m not talking about a bad dream, or being afraid. I had a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE feeling that I was NOT to drive the next day.


Well, I listened to that voice. I was stranded for a few days as the storm came in, caused quite a bit of chaos as people who were to picked up here and there were not- but as soon as the decision was made I felt a great weight lifted.


I have learned to listen to my feelings.


Once, when I was 25, my widowed mother came to visit me in California. We spent a fun-filled, crazy week shopping at every Goodwill and Thrift Shop in the greater San Diego area. We giggled, we laughed, we ate TONS of Mexican food, we raved over bargain purchases, and held each other for seven glorious days.


When we dropped her off at the airport for her flight back to Orlando, I watched in the car as her plane took off. Suddenly, I started sobbing. I cried my heart out, and my friend looked at me incredulously.


“What are you DOING?” he asked.


I continued to weep… and finally managed to say, “I have a horrible feeling that I’ll never see her again.” He laughed.


And less than two months later, my 48 year-old mother was dead.



Yeah. I tend to listen to those feelings.


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61 comments:

x said...

I have goose bumps. But, on to brighter things - YOU ARE AWESOME! YOU ARE GREAT! YOU ARE FABULOUS! (that's me trying to lift up hormonal you) :)

cheatymoon said...

I have that sort of thing happen all the time. I am so happy to be in great company.
Thanks for sharing such an awesome story, VM. xoxo

Mildred Ratched said...

You know the really sad part? Some people never listen to those gut feelings or premonitions. I'm glad you got to see your mother before she passed away and have wonderful memories of that week together.

Jules AF said...

Wow. I don't have those feelings! BUT. I did go to my parents' house randomly for a weekend, and my grandpa ended up dying, and we had his funeral right then. It was such an odd coincidence.

Mrs. E said...

You give me goose bumps. I get those feelings, too. And I am usually right. I listen when that voice tells me to take a different way home.

PS. So glad that your last memories of your mom are such happy ones!!

Anonymous said...

Wow that is powerful. I always listen to those feelings, and this was a great reminder to continue doing so, thanx my friend;)

Anonymous said...

That's too creepy to think about.

Secretia

Dee said...

God this gave me the chills! I've had a couple of dreams that have come true, and it still freaks me out just thinking about it.

Keyona said...

Wow. That was powerful!

Sandee said...

That's your guardian angel that's telling you/protecting you. Many people can't hear their guardian angel. I can hear/feel mine too.

Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)

Everyday Goddess said...

Wow! And I read your cards??

Actuary Mom said...

wow. brought tears to my eyes.

SheilaC said...

wOw..... I have no other words...

SheilaC

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Ooooh, that just gave me chills!! Thanks for sharing it!

ChiTown Girl said...

I'm so glad that the last chunk of time you spent with your mom was filled with such awesome memories. Sadly, some people's last days with their parents entail them watching them endure pain and suffering.

Keep listening to those feelings!!

CaneWife said...

Oh wow. That's some powerful stuff.

Brian Miller said...

speechless...but if you ever have those feelings, please tell me...

Anonymous said...

I try to listen to those feelings too... the ones that creep up the back of my neck. The night before a good friend passed away a couple of weeks ago, I knew when I went to bed the night before that I would awake to a message saying she had passed away, and I did.

DI
The Blue Ridge Gal

Fragrant Liar said...

You absolutely HAVE to listen to those little voices screaming out from your gut. (But really, why are the voices coming from THERE?)

I love that photo of your mom and grandmom. I believe I've seen it before, but I just love old photos anyway.

Anonymous said...

Those feelings are smart. I get them, too, at times. It's like God's version of OnStar.

Unknown said...

whoa... deep. Seriously.

and a little bit creepy.

Anne said...

When I was 17 and getting ready for school I heard on the local radio station that there had been a fatal car accident that morning. I said a prayer, just then, asking for strength for the family of the deceased. Turns out... it was a boy I had been 'going with' for a few weeks (aka - writing notes, talking on the phone, etc.), so the prayers I sent up were really for me... well, and his family too.

Yep, I listen too.

SkylersDad said...

That is pretty amazing, I have not had a feeling like that, and am not sure I want to.

Sue said...

I believe in my heart that you should always "listen" to what needs to be heard. Sometimes it isn't the greatest message playing in your head, but I've always felt it is in my heart and head for a reason! Your mom left you way to young, but she is in your heart daily!
Take care, Sue

Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

when i have dismissed those feelings, i have regretted it big time. hugs.

Anonymous said...

I think as women we are given intuition for a reason. Good for you listening to yours. Too often we ignore it for whatever reason. On an unrelated note, that picture reminds me of pictures we have taken at the Elks Lodge, am I to assume your family are part of the BOPE (Best people on Earth) as well??

jessica said...

so we become more and more alike with each post!! i'm psychic too!! i have those feelings and try my hardest to listen to them. i have changed plans due to nagging feelings also. nothing has ever been proven, no trains that i should have been on that crashed or accidents on the road i would've taken, but i trust those feelings and listen to them nonetheless. i'm so happy that someone else feels that way and doesn't think it's crazy!! (i'm not crazy ocd lady or anything. this happens once in a while and i listen and am happier for it!)

Vodka Logic said...

Wow that is weird and good thing you listen.

Did you get to see your mother again? And if not what a great way to spend your last days with her.
xx

anymommy said...

Never, ever ignore those feelings, I agree 100%.

Mellodee said...

My mom used to get premonitions from time to time, but I never have. But I believe in them and if I ever do have one I'm pretty sure I won't ignore it!

Darkwitless said...

Yeah!! The badge is back!

I comment very often (if ever!) but dang girl, you deserve the badge!

And AMEN to listening to that little voice. I joke with friends that i am a 2 by 4 upside the head, neon sign girl in a world where God whispers. But if you listen, you can hear!

flutter said...

trusting yourself will always serve you well

Joanie said...

You are way too spooky!!! Cool, but spooky.

Paige said...

I get that too.

So are you having one of those feelings to make you post this?

anon said...

You lost your Mom when she was only 48 years old. I'm very sorry for that loss, that must have been incredibly hard, you must have been fairly young yourself, probably just hitting the age where you really know just how great your Mom really is.

Your Mom looks gorgeous in that picture Jackie O, classic good looks, and a fun, sweet smile.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

Powder

Anonymous said...

Oh, that gave me goosebumps!

mo.stoneskin said...

I get the whole ambulance thing. And now I have a precious little daughter I've become even more sensitive.

Beth said...

As well you should listen to those feelings.

We had a similar thing happen when we were suppose to go to Bermuda for a vacation. It was before you had to have a passport but you had to have a certified birth certificate. Well, we didn't realize that my husband's birth certificate wasn't certified and he (therefore, we) wasn't allowed to get on the plane. The whole time, I had a weight on my chest about the whole trip (and I love to travel) and felt relieved when we couldn't go. The group we were going with ended up getting food poisoning and one lady almost died. I really think that premonition was spot on.

Lynn Kellan said...

Wow - I'd say that you definitely have a touch of ESP! I'm so sorry you lost your mom and nephew when they were so young.

WeaselMomma said...

I agree. Sometimes you just need to follow your gut.

Lori P said...

Whoa. Great story. It's so good that you and your mother had that time together and about the weekend with your sister, who knows. My thought is that she needed your presence there. I love your stories.

Marinka said...

Oh, honey.

Anonymous said...

Ha. I told my husband "I have goosebumps", and then saw the first comment. Eerie.

I'm moving to Hawaii next month, and as happy as I am, I have one of those terrible nagging feelings, too. My grandmother is so upset by it and convinced that she'll never see me again she told me to "pretend she's dead already". It's eating me up. :(

Carolyn...Online said...

Oh sweetie. I'm sorry. That's heartbreaking.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your losses. This is proof positive that we have to listen to those gut instincts.

Anonymous said...

This gave me the chills. We get these for a reason. I'm very sorry to hear that about your mother, but it was a blessing you got to have a great visit with her....

Susan Higgins said...

Captivating post. I love these sorts of stories. You are wise to listen to your gut.

I had one of these experiences recently too.

I had to go to the bank and get my Uncle's check to pay his nursing home bill. I do it every month. Last Friday I had planned on leaving for the bank around 11:30. Suddenly I got really hungry, I needed lunch before I went out; I was feeling dizzy! I got to the bank an hour later than I had planned because I stopped to have lunch... good thing.

The bank was robbed around the time I would have gone inside with my demented mother so that we could get Uncle Al's money to pay his nursing home!

Laura said...

Your are much stronger than mine, but I too am like that. Sometimes it takes months for me to figure out why, but yeah I have those two. I learned to listen to myself and believe.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh, you brought tears to my eyes, seeing her beautiful smiling face, the same age I am now...
I try and listen to my gut and have been telling my kids this for years. I think it's actually in our genes to do this; cave people no doubt survived literally that way. But time has taught us to ignore our instincts. Luckily, some of us have stronger ones. I'm glad you listened to yours.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

My prayers go out to your sister and the loss of her son. What a sad story. Yes, you must listen to your feelings, you are truly hearing from God. I have not had any feeling that strong. However I have had several experiences with signs from my mother after she passed away. I am so sorry about your mother passing. I know how hard it is. Take care & God Bless.

Stereos and Souffles said...

I cried leaving my grandparents house one Sunday on my way back to college only 4 hours away, I just had a strange feeling. They went up North a month later to visit my Aunt and my grandfather went into a coma while there. I hopped a plane from school hoping to make it there before he passed. I was on the plane almost there and saw the most amazing sunset out the window. I looked at my watch and cried because I knew I wasn't going to make it in time. When I did finally land and was greeted by family, they told me he had passed and I asked what time. Same time as that wonderful sunset.Makes me cry just telling the story.

被リンクサービス said...

This is the way that people grow up.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I honestly believe that some people are more "tuned in" than others. Obviously you are one of those and this gave me chills.

Old Time Cindy said...

Dropping by from SITS. Quite an interesting and emotional filled post. Blessings to you and family...
Cindy at Lakewood

Anonymous said...

The picture alone is worth way more than 1,000 words!

Red Shoes said...

Bless your heart... at least you have made the connection to those 'feelings'... that something... someone... is communicating with you... and as you said, we just have to learn to embrace it... understand it...

~shoes~

Merrily Down the Stream said...

as well you should. hugs

Reading Rosie said...

There is really nothing stronger than a woman's intuition. I often find that "nagging thought" to be the voice of God.

Lynn said...

As you know, I have learned those lessons too!

Dalia (Generation X Mom) said...

Wow, I do believe in this. Don't ever ignore it.

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