I'll see your medium and raise you a warrior..

As I stood in front of my mirror this morning, I looked into the eyes of the woman I have always wanted to be, and I was thankful.

I sat on my bed, and my thoughts suddenly went back to that night several years ago when I was shaken to the core.   You remember, don’t you, that day that I finally took my friend’s advice and went on a visit to her medium? 

I shared most of what happened that day, but never the one thing she said to me as I turned to leave. 

The medium, a gorgeous woman who lived in a beautiful mansion above the country club, informed me at the outset that she only shared “good” stuff during a reading.  She was working with angels, etc., and insisted again that she only tells a “client” the good stuff.  I was a bit relieved at that cause honestly I did NOT want to know when my own appointment with the grim reaper would be.

She shared all kinds of things, and I said very little about myself.  In fact, I only confirmed or denied any of the information she was offering me. (And honestly, there were some aspects about my life, and marriage, that I had not shared with anyone; not even my very closest of friends.)

When all was said and done, we laughed, talked about something light and I stood to leave.  She said my name sharply, and I turned. 

She looked at me and grasped my hand.  “I have to say something.  I’m sorry, but I really have to say something.”  She looked me in the eye. 

“You HAVE to get out of this marriage.  Repair some things, do what you have to do, but GET OUT.  Do you understand me?”

I looked at her, shocked, and nodded my head. 

Today, when I stared into the mirror I smiled.    I have fought a tough battle...but even with the scars here and there, I am happier than I have been in a long, long, long time.  And, I can finally say, I am proud of the woman who is walking away from the battlefield.

(Hear me roar.)


jessica said...

Amazing. I'm talking about YOU. For those who think it's "easier" to stay:
Even if court and custody and money and property disputes become a new factor in one's life, those things don't last forever. A court appearance is about half a day, a miserable marriage is forever... well, unless you get out. Get it.

Also, there is nothing worth more than being able to wake up in the morning and decide for yourself how this day is going to go. Yes, unforeseen circumstances enter all of our days and sometimes determine that it's going to be a crappy day but if you have a miserable spouse, it's guaranteed to be a crappy day.

The sun almost always shines and the birds almost always sing- isn't it great to finally be able to hear them?

Brian Miller said...

smiles. i am glad you have found yourself in the after VM...

Vodka Mom said...

The sun shines every damn day. EVEN when it's raining.


Scope said...

That must have spooked you.

And it reminds me of this joke:

Q - Do you know why that Patricia Arquette TV show was called "Medium"?

A - It was neither "Rare" nor "Well Done". :-)

Kathy's Klothesline said...

It is hard to admit defeat when a relationship dies. This is my third marriage, but we have been married for 37 years. Took three tries, but through it all, I became the person I am today.

Congrats on finding contentment.

The medium? I don't know, I can't say that I discount her perception. I have seen strangers and just known intuitively that the man was a wife beater. Or that the woman was sleeping with another man. I am ususally right. I don't think I am "gifted", though.

Japolina said...

I'm sure it has not been easy but doing the right thing isn't always easy. Wishing you peace, love, happiness and vodka,

Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

so proud of you, vodka!

Just Two Chicks said...

I've never been to a medium before, simply because I don't want to know. I guess that's my "avoidance bubble" in full force. Good or bad, I'm like a little kid, covering my ears and saying "la,la,la,la" over and over until I'm sure I won't hear a thing.
The wife went to those in the past... before I came along. I guess after me, she decided there was no reason to go anymore, but she said hers was always right on the money, so to speak.
I'm so happy you were able to remove yourself from your marriage. I don't know anything about it, but my personal experiences with my own marriage, taught me that no matter how terrible, it is incredibly difficult to remove ourselves from even the most dangerous situations when we have children, and when the person hurting us is someone who was supposed to love and cherish us.
When I started blogging, I had just found something out about my ex-husband, making my first post about him!! Not the plan, but I've found in this space a wonderful place to put my fears, tears, laughter, and craziness, not to mention a wonderful place of inspiration from people like you!!! :)

Anonymous said...

You know that I love your medium stories. Some of my favorite people talk to dead folks.

So glad you have peace in your life right now. It's awesome to realize that you're on the other side of a tough spell, isn't it?


Mellodee said...

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

-- Wm. Shakespeare

Sheila said...

SO happy to hear that 2012 is starting well for you. Remember, God loves you and thinks you are perfect...and so do we!

Wendy said...

"Sha Bam" indeed! =-)

I love you VM.
Have from the first time i read one of your posts.

You're worth it. I'm so happy for you.
(Sorry it's been so long since i've posted...)

Wendy said...

... i meant "commented" - not "posted"!
[rolling eyes]

Rima said...


You totally rock, VM! Seriously.

Jill said...

It has been a true pleasure to have seen all the changes in you over the past few years ... since before I met you at BH ... to now.

Happy new year. Happy new YOU.


Stephanie said...

I read you but rarely comment....this one gave me goosebumps. yeah you!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Good for YOU!
xo jj

Jen said...

that is the best thing I have heard all day!! Yay to you, and it can only get better from here!!

p.s. wanna go on a double blind date??? lol

Angela said...

You deserve all the wonderful things in life; love, laughter, joy and someone special to share it all with, hoping 2012, is the year when everything good happens!

Anonymous said...


SkylersDad said...

That must have been quite the moment! I wonder what a medium would say of my life...

Anonymous said...

Good for you, VodkaMom. Sometimes you have to save your own life. I did it long ago, and am eternally grateful for the life I enjoy now. (not that it didn't take some time, stress, and serious effort on my part)

We only get one go-round on this earth, and there aren't any shiny prizes for making martyrs of ourselves when it's over. Carpe diem because it might be the only one we get.

FRANNIE said...

High Five, girlfriend!

Six years ago I made the same decision and I can honesty say I've never been happier. :)

phsymom said...

Good on you. Sometimes you have to do things you never thought you would to make your life your own and be happy.

Michelle said...

My brother is in third interviews with a bigwig airline company in Oregon. Hoping, HOPING he gets the job so I can come out and meet you. If I pass the criminal background check, can I volunteer just to meet Frank???

Slcobb311 said...

I stumbled upon your blog and I hope to God I can find it again another time! Wow you are fun and an inspiration. I love the stories and the bogs. You are strength personified. GO YOU VM!!

Sharon Rose said...

You are one amazing warrior, beautiful, lovely, confident, with a roar that can be heard from Oregon all the way to Indiana.

I am so happy for you. You really have done your homework!


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