We walk a fine line most of the time- balancing the many relationships that we have all forged over the years.
We try our very best to maintain a balance with our children- juggling the screaming and yelling matches with the loving embraces and proud moments. It’s a crap shoot most days, and we pray that we succeed more times than we fail when we guide our children along their journeys. We hope that they don’t make the mistakes that we did- but we know full well that they will. They are, after all, members of this crazy human race, and we can only hope that we are around to help wipe their tears or mend their hearts.
We depend on our friends to reach down and lift us up when we fall, to wipe our tears when they flow and to laugh with us until we cry. These friends are the glue that helps us put our hearts back together when they are chipped by the everyday challenges of life. They also remind us that laughter is so good for the soul, and cures most ills.
I’ve been thinking about the other relationship that is important to us, the one that we all seek. You know the one I mean, the love one.
I’ve spent many years thinking about what I wanted in a real partner. I thought that I wanted certain important things in that partner. I had a neat list in my heart that I promised myself I would use if I met a man that was vying for the position.
I neglected to think about what that person might want in his partner. (silly me....)
I’ve been thinking about that these last days, as Mr. Darcy and I continue to find our way in this affair of the heart. I’ve thought about the kind of person that he deserves, and I’ve wondered. I’ve wondered what this man (this amazingly good man) could possibly see in this older, crazy, forgetful woman. Cause trust me, I’m no catch. Oh sure, I can be funny sometimes, and I might clean-up nice once in a while, but yikes.
I am constantly juggling each month to pay one bill or another; and there is always at least one that has to sit out the month. I have financial responsibilities that I hope will change once everything is final, but until then it will continue to be a challenge.
I have a crazy barking dog that won’t let anyone near me, and a cat that THINKS he’s a dog, and insists on sleeping on top of my legs each night.
I have two loud, remarkable, wonderful, demanding daughters who are at the top of my list of “Most Important People” and who always seem to need me to get them out of one fix or another.
I have a boy who has chosen to live with his father, and comes to see me when it suits him- or his father. I am always at the ready, because I never know when he might call for me to pick him up. (I still tend to cry now and then when my heart reminds me that he is not here. While he reminds ME that he loves me, I can’t wrap my heart around this current situation.)
I cry way too much, I’m forgetful, I’m not a great housekeeper, I’m a financial mess, I manage to get myself into one pickle after another, and I need to lose those ten (or eleven) pounds I gained after that pesky hip-replacement.
However; when Mr. Darcy looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes – he makes me feel like I’m the most incredible and beautiful woman in the world.
And that’s the item that’s at the tippy top of my list.
(It’s also the one that makes all of the yucky stuff seem not so yucky after all.)