We walk a fine line most of the time- balancing the many
relationships that we have all forged over the years.
We try our very best to maintain a balance with our
children- juggling the screaming and yelling matches with the loving embraces
and proud moments. It’s a crap
shoot most days, and we pray that we succeed more times than we fail when we
guide our children along their journeys. We hope that they don’t make the
mistakes that we did- but we know full well that they will. They are, after
all, members of this crazy human race, and we can only hope that we are around
to help wipe their tears or mend their hearts.
We depend on our friends to reach down and lift us up when
we fall, to wipe our tears when they flow and to laugh with us until we cry. These friends are the glue that helps us
put our hearts back together when they are chipped by the everyday challenges
of life. They also remind us that laughter is so good for the soul, and cures most ills.
I’ve been thinking about the other relationship that is important to us, the one that we
all seek. You know the one I mean, the love one.
I’ve spent many years thinking about what I wanted in a real partner. I thought that I wanted certain important things
in that partner. I had a neat list in my heart that I promised myself I would
use if I met a man that was vying for the position.
I neglected to think about what that person might want in his
partner. (silly me....)
I’ve been thinking about that these last days, as Mr. Darcy
and I continue to find our way in this affair of the heart. I’ve thought about the kind of person
that he deserves, and I’ve wondered.
I’ve wondered what this man (this amazingly good man) could possibly see in this older, crazy, forgetful
woman. Cause trust me, I’m no
catch. Oh sure, I can be funny sometimes, and I might clean-up nice once in a while, but yikes.
I am constantly juggling each month to pay one bill or
another; and there is always at least one that has to sit out the month. I have
financial responsibilities that I hope will change once everything is final,
but until then it will continue to be a challenge.
I have a crazy barking dog that won’t let anyone near me,
and a cat that THINKS he’s a dog, and insists on sleeping on top of my legs
each night.
I have two loud, remarkable, wonderful, demanding daughters
who are at the top of my list of “Most Important People” and who always seem to
need me to get them out of one fix or another.
I have a boy who has chosen to live with his father, and
comes to see me when it suits him- or his father. I am always at the ready, because I never know when he might
call for me to pick him up. (I
still tend to cry now and then when my heart reminds me that he is not here.
While he reminds ME that he loves me, I can’t wrap my heart around this current
situation.)
I cry way too much, I’m forgetful, I’m not a great housekeeper, I’m a financial mess, I manage to get myself into one pickle after another, and I need to lose those ten (or eleven) pounds I gained after that pesky hip-replacement.
However; when Mr. Darcy looks at me with those beautiful
blue eyes – he makes me feel like I’m the most incredible and beautiful woman in the world.
And that’s the
item that’s at the tippy top of my list.
(It’s also the one that makes all of the yucky stuff seem not so yucky
after all.)
