We held our 2nd “Plenty of Sardines” meeting last night at the local watering hole. While three of us are official members, the other four attendees were conscientious observers adding their insights and hysterical laughter. (To the proprietor of said establishment and the customers in our immediate area- we apologize for our hilarity. We don’t get out much.)
Before we share the new amendments to our “must not do” list for potential suitors, I would like to admit that we’ve all had at least two or more very lovely dates with nice gentlemen from said website. (But that’s another post entirely.) That means that at least one out of every thousand sardines would be worth keeping on the ship for further review.
However, if you do any of the following, you can be sure that you’ll be thrown overboard. (With a bazooka.)
1. Please do NOT email me if you know that I work with your ex-wife. And if you end the email with a “please don’t let Trudy know that I emailed you,” you can be guaranteed that I will.
2. Do not email me if you’re old enough to be my son. Ew.
3. While TV dinners and Reeses cups might sound like a delicious meal, and it sure would be nice not to have to cook, I don't recommend that as a first date. Ew.
4. Please do not for ANY reason tell me that you’re covered with hair and hung like a gorilla.
I can’t even go on after that one. I’m still laughing hysterically while trying to picture what that might, in fact, look like.
Ew. Ew. Ew.