We held our 2nd “Plenty of Sardines” meeting last night at the local watering
hole. While three of us are
official members, the other four attendees were conscientious observers adding
their insights and hysterical laughter. (To the proprietor of said establishment and the customers in
our immediate area- we apologize for our hilarity. We don’t get out much.)
Before we share the new amendments to our “must not do” list
for potential suitors, I would like to admit that we’ve all had at least two or
more very lovely dates with nice gentlemen from said website. (But that’s another post entirely.) That
means that at least one out of every thousand sardines would be worth keeping
on the ship for further review.
However, if you do any of the following, you can be sure
that you’ll be thrown overboard. (With a bazooka.)
1.
Please do NOT email me if you know that I work
with your ex-wife. And if you end
the email with a “please don’t let Trudy know that I emailed you,” you can be
guaranteed that I will.
2.
Do not email me if you’re old enough to be my
son. Ew.
3.
While TV dinners and Reeses cups might sound
like a delicious meal, and it sure would be nice not to have to cook, I don't recommend that as a first date. Ew.
4.
Please do not for ANY reason tell me that you’re
covered with hair and hung like a gorilla.
I can’t even go on after that one. I’m still laughing hysterically while trying to picture what
that might, in fact, look like.
Ew. Ew.
Ew.
