Dear Tightwad, (I mean the Blessed One…)
I thought I’d fill you in on all the fun things that have been happening here at home. While this working away from home during the week has done wonders for our, um, marriage stuff, it’s been a bit challenging doing the single parent thing. (Although my friends seem to think I’ve been doing it for years.)
First, the Golden Boy shattered the ceiling light in the stairwell that leads from the kitchen to the basement. It seems he really IS taller than the stairwell, and when he tripped towards the bottom his hand went up to catch himself and it shattered the huge bulb into a million pieces. I wasn’t home at the time, but after he realized he wasn’t hurt, he actually cleaned the mess up HIMSELF! With a SHOP-VAC! I still can’t believe it.
Second, Sassy began the week a scary, screaming, emotional wreck. I won’t go into the sordid details, but whatever you do, do NOT mention the letters PMS or look her in the eye. She’s finally back to normal and thanks to the mind-erasing machine she has built into her psyche, she doesn’t seem to remember treating us like crap all week. We’ve got about three weeks of peace until it starts again.
Third, my car died a smoky, screeching death in the center of town yesterday. Yeah, the university students are back. No, they haven’t finished the construction on the main street that goes through downtown. Standing by my car in the middle of that chaos while waiting for the tow truck was a treat. Did I mention it was raining yesterday? Did I?
Oh, and when you get home today, can you take Golden Boy aside and tell him it is NOT a good idea to try to show his mother the various places on his body where hair is growing. There are some things I DON’T need to see. Ever.
You probably won’t see me all weekend because I’m finally allowed in my classroom and will be working my *** off to put it back together. Wait, can I have your keys? I forgot - I’m vehicle-less.