3/23/10

Whose idea was the bunny????


The top 5 reasons why I had a headache last night.

1. During afternoon centers Jack didn’t make it to the bathroom in time and peed all over himself, the floor and part of the wall. Then, after we ran to get the change of clothes, extra socks and undies from the nurse, another child went in and slipped on the “water” on the floor, and HE needed to change.

2. Sally and John were calling each other bitches at lunchtime. After intense questioning, it was determined that only John was calling people bitches. Sally only says “shit”. Her mom lets her.

3. David had a SEVERE meltdown during free play, laid on the floor kicking and screaming, and said he hated school, his teacher (HUH?), his whole class, and his cousin Larry. After PLENTY of crying and sobbing, I finally got the bottom of the story. David wanted the horned dinosaur instead of the long neck that Zack was willing to part with. David, in the meantime, had been in three time-outs since he walked in the room this morning. Things were clearly not going his way.

4. The class bunny (who roams the room freely) managed to get on top of my teacher desk and promptly chewed the special new crayons I had purchased for an activity on Friday and sh** all over Alan’s behavior chart. David had brilliantly kept the teacher pre-occupied.

5. The teacher tried unsuccessfully to locate a recipe for RABBIT STEW on the computer because she THREW IN THE TOWEL and took them ALL outside for recess at 2:00. However, after getting 25 children zipped, one girl buttoned, locating Laurie's missing glove, and forcing several repeat offenders into the bathroom, we only managed 14 minutes outside.


I might have lost the battle today, but the war rages on. Oh, and as David walked out of school today, these were his words.



“This was a great day, wasn’t it Mrs. Smythe?”



Whose room WAS he in today?



67 comments:

idgtm said...

That sounds about right for a Monday. I got rid of our bunny and settled for a hampster.

WeaselMomma said...

You don't get paid enough and I hope that you keep a flask of vodka in your desk.

Cheryl said...

Sorry, I just saw your signage over there on the right about the gazillionaire. It's not like this wasn't funny enough without that!

Ain't kids grand?

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

Thought my day was crazy . . . but you win!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I totally get where David was coming from. Once I bave a full-on meltdown, I always feel better.

ChiTown Girl said...

I love reading posts like this because it reminds me that I'm not the only one whose life is like this!! Thanks :)

Marg said...

This is why I could never ever ever be a teacher, I would always be on the vodka, but I do love your tales of the classroom. It sounds like a lovely crazy place.

GraceesMommy said...

giggle...ok..this blog deserves a double giggle. ♥

Scope said...

I spent all day fighting a devilish computer issue before finally having a "d'oh" moment and resolving it. Last night. At 11:30.

And I wouldn't trade you jobs for DOUBLE my pay. Well, on second thought, I could by a lot of Prozac with the extra scratch... Triple it and you've got a deal.

Scope said...

And now I will have the line "spear and magic helmet" from "What's Opera Doc" ("Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! Kill the WAB-BIT!) in my head all day.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Little varmints...

ironicmom said...

I love the potential symbolism of bunny crapping on the behavioral chart.

I'll stick with my Junior High students. At least they get cutting sarcasm....

Happy Tuesday!

mo.stoneskin said...

Rabbit stew can't be that hard. All you need is a pot, some water and a heat source. Why don't you give the children a cookery lesson. Bwhahahaaha.

The Boob Nazi said...

The bunny looks like bunnicula in that picture. I'm scared.

She Who Sasses said...

O.M.G........

Secretia said...

You have a fun job and I think you love it.

Secretia

Notes from a Broad said...

LOL, I bet this was Just Another Monday for you.

Call Glen Close, she has the Rabbit Stew recipe :)

chau, Candice

Middle Aged Woman said...

You might be surprised to learn that it takes a room of sixth graders just as long to get ready! I can count the number of times they were ready in five minutes on one hand.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i hear you can also fry them up. the bunnies that is...

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoo

sounded like a good day to me! ps

Joanie M said...

Of course it was a great day for David. He was the one wreaking all the havoc!

3 Men and a Lady said...

LOL-ing at the 2 calling each other 'bitches'. Kids these days!

Alix said...

Sally's mom ROCKS. Let's all get together for cocktails.

Ace said...

I'm sure the teachers here had a wild day yesterday if the behavior on the bus was any indication. Little buggers were all jacked up on something. Not much better today. Some days I can't shoo 'em out the door fast enough. I can't even imagine having to try to teach them something.

Brian Miller said...

i guess alan's parents had no questions how his day went after seeing the chart...lol.

Steven Anthony said...

not much to say...just cant stop laughing...lol

Beatnheart said...

Sounds like a nightmare..No wonder I'm not a teacher..I don't think I could cope.

CaneWife said...

Oh, my. I don't think I could do it. You know, because I would want the horned dinosaur.

ReadingRosie said...

Snorting with laughter!!!!

Grace's Mom said...

Note to self: Never volunteer in Grace's kindergarten classroom on a Monday.

I'm with David. Sounds like you had a GREAT day.

viridian said...

Do you want Hasenpfeffer (Rabbit Stew): http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Hasenpfeffer-Rabbit-Stew/Detail.aspx
or Maltese Rabbit Stew http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Maltese-Rabbit-Stew/Detail.aspx
????????

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

eeks!! Sounds terrible. But, I wonder what cousin Larry did!

Alle said...

If this is a normal Monday I commend you for serviving everyday life! =)

Malisa said...

Oh, my gosh, this post made me laugh today...and I needed to laugh! One of Lurch's very young doctors was visiting today and I started listing off his honors and activities in high school. He stared at me and then saw my computer and accused me of searching for the information on the internet. Nope, I explained honestly...I just know kids. You are wonderful, Ms. Smith! :)

Just Words On A Page said...

I want you to know I not only choked on my lemon water is came flying out my nose when I read about the kids calling each other bitches over lunch.

Oh my god you crack me up.

Keep it up, I needed to laugh today.

from my front porch... said...

David obviously suffers from short term memory loss.

Di

Dawn said...

I remember now why I DON'T have a class pet! My class is enough of a zoo without one :)

CatLadyLarew said...

Ha! Sounds like a pretty normal day to me! (If I have to help one more kid pull their too tight boots on, I'm going to scream!) Yeah, it was a good day.

Anna See said...

bless your heart. you need a nap. and a drink.

only a movie said...

Sounds like a normal day to me too (we have one student who always smells of pee- it's a constant battle).

You have a bunny that roams your classroom freely? No wonder your students love you so... xo

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

They have a different frame of reference than we do..

thanks for the smile today vodka

Krystal Grant said...

Absolutely Hilarious. As a fellow teacher, I totally understand what you went through today. Keep your head up and like you said...the war wages on.

just making my way said...

With the free roaming bunny thing - do you just find bunny shite everywhere?

Nothing like deserving that martini!

Paige said...

You do know that you really are one of the few people that make me feel like I do not have the most bizarre life in the world, dont you?

You top me almost every day. Thanks!

peewee said...

HAHAHAHAHHA! Every item made me totally laugh. hey, at least it wasn't a BORING day.

I used to steal other kids snacks when I was in 2nd grade. So at least you don't have to deal with ME.

Wild Child said...

Actually, I'm kind of envious for your day. I have every respect for the energy and multi-tasking kindergarten teachers have to have. I've seen both my kids' kindergarten classes and I've always left in awe of the teacher.

However, after the week I'm having at work, I really wish I was dealing with children. Adults can be awful to work with and it's even worse when they too act like kindergarteners, and yet you have to treat them like adults, not like the children they are acting like. Even worse when it's your boss.

Joy said...

just a little tidbit from the book that i will read today in library:

A SOLEMN WARNING TO RABBIT LOVERS:

A bunnny nibbles all day long,
A bunny doesn't think it's wrong,
He nibbles mittens, mufflers, mops,
He only pauses when he hops,
He nibbles curtains, lanp-cords and shoes,
He only stops to take a snooze.

Sofa pillow, ribbons, rugs-
He takes a mouthful, then he tugs,
Galoshes, boxes, books, and string-
A bunny nibbles everything.

Thought of you when I read this..hmmm..didn't mention the other end! The other end is why our bunny has a lovely deluxe hutch..in our warm and snuggly barn.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Thanks so much for the follow!:)
I'm your brand new follower!
Betty xx

Everyday Goddess said...

I don't like Cousin Larry either!

At least David has a bright side mentality. It will serve him well through life.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Gotta love perspective! ;)

Suzy said...

I think it's time to teach college kids. They only pee on themselves when they're drunk.

SmartBear said...

Coming from a school counselor...it's so funny to read your perspective! I don't get called in for the naughty words and for the pee. I just get called when they start throwing chairs or running out of the building. And the behavior chart? I can just picture one of my Kind. teachers handing that to me and saying "the bunny shit on it." That's great!

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Gayle said...

Seriously, what is up with class pets anyhow? Kids have allergies. Duh! And there some kind of circulating air system to send those hairs to the whole school. Just teasing...but really, I used to wonder how the front office secretary could bring her birds to school to hang around her desk while my son was allergic to feathers (and I had give her 40...yes 40...of my birds when he was diagnosed). Hello. He wasn't just allergic at home??!!

Kill the rabbit.

Sue said...

Yeah, my mom lets me say shit too, but I try not to do in in school settings....

The Local Cook said...

Ha! I had a bunny as a child. I remember it chewed my clothes and pooped a LOT. My sister is a teacher . . . maybe I should get a bunny for her class ;-)

Sara said...

Thank you for being a teacher, and a good one at that.

I would not have lasted 30 seconds in that whole scenario.

Oy.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I sure hope Alan's behaviour wasn't as crappy as the bunny thought it was!

And kids seem to have very short memories for things such as really bad days. Or else, their viewpoints are extremely skewed.

Kirsten D. said...

Oh dear. I have a lot to look forward when I'm a kindergarten teacher myself, don't I? ;) And even stories like these can't dissuade me!

Nej said...

You deserve a medal....or a trophy....or maybe both. :-)

Maggie May said...

this was awesome!!!