2/10/12

That damn reaper: Why does he always have to count to three?




I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time mourning lately.  And I don’t like it.



This weekend I wrap my children in love and comfort as they say goodbye to their last grandparent.  And since you all know that I’ve been an orphan for far too long, you can deduce whose mother has taken the hand of her husband and followed him Home.  And while I'm not officially a member of that particular family, my heart is broken none-the-less.


It’s amazing how grief can minimize the problems of your small world.  How it can encourage the outreaching of hands and hearts, and how it reminds everyone that all of our days here are numbered.  Wasting any of them on petty and painful emotion is simply not to be borne.


And so we bid farewell to a woman who used to cut my children’s hair when she thought it was too long.  The woman who would remind me when she thought I needed to lose a few pounds, and who would clean and re-arrange my house when visiting us when I was at work.   I say goodbye to the woman who liked to remind me about how to discipline my children, and what lessons I might be forgetting to teach them.  She also reminded us by her actions, that there were so many ways to show love and devotion- and that they didn’t always require words.


But what I think about today is that we bid good-bye to the only grandmother my children have ever known.  She was a mother to me for as many years as my own, and they each loved a completely different version of me.  And while it’s true that they were polar opposites, I learned just as many lessons from her than I did from my own.




And while we are all left here to pick up the pieces and mend broken hearts, she is soaring in heaven all the while holding the hand of the man she loved for over 60 years.  







Not too shabby, J.  Not too shabby.






22 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

So sorry for your loss. I often tell my husband that I would like for us to leave this world together. My daughter heard me say this not long ago and called me selfish! She asked how she was supposed to lose both her parents at once. I had honestly never considered her view. Still want to go with my mate, though.

Sue said...

As we get a bit older, it seems that life gets a bit more perplexing. That was a beautiful post you just wrote and I'm guessing your MIL is smiling down on you with great approval. You did her good.

Take care,
Sue

ChiTown Girl said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother-in-law. xoxox

Eccentricess said...

Sorry for the loss your family is enduring.

A beautiful send off to her, real and loving.

Sharyn said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. how wonderful to love and be loved by TWO moms in your life.

Far Side of Fifty said...

I am so sorry:(

That Janie Girl said...

Love you, and the way you love.

Amazing.

Brian Miller said...

hugs your way VM...sorry for your loss...losses...and know there is a back side...

Gigi said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm sending lots of hugs to you and your family.

SkylersDad said...

There are no words, but I am holding you tightly from far away.

NotesFromAbroad said...

I am sorry for your loss but glad that you had her for the time you did.
This is the part about being a grown-up that really sucks ... all the people we viewed as the grown-ups are growing very old.. they leave us .. and we never feel like we won't need them.
Sending love from far away .. <3

RottenMom said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.
This is so beautifully written.

Pastor Sharon said...

Ah, how death does remind how small other things in life become.

Sweetie, I am so sorry for this loss. Losing the last grandparent, that is hard. Hugs to your babies. Hugs to you who have lost the other mother.

Love you,
Sharon

So. Cal. Gal said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss...again. : (

My year of loss was 1981. The only grandma I'd ever known (the other one died when I was a year old) passed away in June, then my favorite uncle died unexpectedly in September.

I feel for ya, sweetie!

anymommy said...

I'm so sorry, Deb. And your eloquence in the face of grief is gorgeous.

Anna See said...

I am sorry, Debbie.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Sending hugs to you and your family.
xo jj

Angela said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was a very special person, you were lucky to have her in your life. I hope your children are doing okay.

Gia said...

Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss :(

Trina said...

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter 2 weeks ago Saturday and then her best friend's dad died last Monday so I am on pins and needles because I think it all comes in threes too. Hang in there!

Shannon Colleary said...

Hello sweet lady -- thank you for your elegant eulogy of your mother-in-law. In 2011 we lost three grandparents. They weren't perfect, but they each touched us uniquely. I feel the pain of your loss and the grace that's come after. xo

Roshni said...

so sorry. hang in there.