11/19/09

Proud Shmoud....


As most of you know, we live in a college town here in Smythe, Oregon. The local high school here has about 3,000 kids enrolled. Sure, that’s a lot of kids- but most of the time it does feel like a small town.

Each year, all year LONG, we read in the paper about the incredible accomplishments of many of the seniors that are seemingly PHENOMENAL.

Here’s what I’d like to print.

Sassy Smith, daughter of Tightwad and Vodkamom, is the proud recipient of the, well, um, nothing. Her parents are very proud of the fact she’s never officially been arrested, and has brilliantly outmaneuvered the police on several occasions when they’ve appeared at “study meetings” she might have attended.


Although she’s never been a girl scout, she did spend a year participating in the brownies, which netted her parents, and extended family members, a bazillion boxes of cookies, some of which might STILL be in the back of their freezers. It also earned her a weekend camping experience that we try not to bring up. She has not volunteered to help the homeless, the hungry or the huddled masses, because she’s been too &#% busy playing field hockey She was offered a chance to work the Special Olympics, but she respectfully declined. Yeah.

Although she’s not being considered for ANY scholarships, her parents are working feverishly to find a way to ship her to college as far away as possible.


and it's all out of love.



57 comments:

Anne said...

I think she should get an award for being gifted enough to be born into such a wonderfully normal family. :-) Now that takes talent, right?

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

That's plenty of reasons to be proud. Normal is the new genius, dontcha know? Hooray for Sassy!

The Wifey said...

Be very proud. Someday I would love to be one of those moms with the bumper sticker that says,

"My Daughter Kicked Your Honor Student's Ass."

It's something to aspire to, I think. ;)

Kat said...

I think being average is underrated.

only a movie said...

She might surprise you yet. :-)

G said...

I think I missed something here. When did you move to Oregon? Last time I knew, you were living in Pennsylvania.

LadyFi said...

That's a lot of love, and brownies...

Mrs. E said...

I always thought our children should receive awards for surviving in homes with inexperienced parents who only 'kinda' knew what they were doing! Bless their hearts. And the fact that they sometimes want to return to the nest speaks volumes!!

Homemaker Man said...

There is totally a skill, even a gift, to being able to fly under the I did something special radar for your entire school career. To me it says she is comfortable in her own skin and everyone who doesn't like it can @#% off. Which is cool.

Secretia said...

Well we weren't the easiest kids in the world to bring up either, were we? But here we are.

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Normal is AWESOME.

WeaselMomma said...

I just hope you attach this letter to all of her college applications.

Jan said...

Well! I see your daughter is every bit as accomplished as mine.

I'll drink to that. Repeatedly.

Snappy Di said...

Yes, these days just staying un-pregnant and out of the hands of the police many teens deserve an award. :-)

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Oh good - that takes the pressure off me worrying about Princess Nagger's future, too. If she turns out 'normal' like Sassy, I'll do a happy dance. ;)

CSY said...

I try to tell my daughter that normal is awesome! I'm going to have to show her this post...maybe hearing it from someone other than myself seh'll listen...hey - a mom can DREAM, can't she?!?!

The Good Cook said...

I am still looking for the bumper sticker that says
"Proud mother of four average kids"...

Me, You, or Ellie said...

You see that? You see what a good job you did? Scholarship Schmalership.

Well done.

Ellie

Gaston Studio said...

Normal can be a welcome change when watching TV "news"... you still have girl scout cookies in the freeze. Can I come over if I bring my own milk?

Angie Ledbetter said...

Surely there are scholarships available to students with spazzy mothers. :)

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Sassy should date my son. He's never particularly gone out of his way like all those Awesome kids we're always reading about. But he's the light of my life and simply an amazing person. Like I know Sassy must be.

Joanie M said...

I shipped my kid to a college near you, sort of. Please, don't feel like you need to return the favor.

The Mother said...

I have one like that. I sent him to college this year, and he also, so far, has not gotten himself arrested.

Aren't we lucky?

Michele said...

My youngest son received an award in grade school for being successful at recess. We were and still are so proud. He is now a senior at Arizona State. See, there is hope for Sassy.

Suzy said...

Once when we were younger, my father said to me and my sister: I'm very proud of you girls. You never got arrested and you never got pregnant.

Uhhhh, ok.

Elenka said...

Ah, yes...I'm proud of the same type of person. DID ship him far away to college, but he came back....without a degree. Sigh.

just making my way said...

Considering the type of teenager I was? I'm doomed.

DustieBottoms said...

hahaha! You know, she gets an award for being comfortable enough in her own skin and her place in your family to speak her mind without using the edit button.

Shell said...

Hilarious!

I feel the same way about the Christmas letters that people send out and think I should work on my own version of one to send out this year.

WeaselMomma said...

I have a post today that you may just get a kick out of, cause it's all about you http://tinyurl.com/ydbs64d

Kara said...

The best field hockey teams are generally from the east coast, so if she's good enough to get a scholarship for that, she's probably going to school somewhere out east. Maybe BC, Northeastern or Merrimack (I'm from Massachusetts, so I'm partial to those schools)?

otin said...

I could have only wished that my Mother sent me to a land far far away! LOL!

LegalMist said...

Your kids are so lucky to be cherished for who they are instead of made to feel like they must constantly accomplish, do, and compete in order to win your love. Normal and well-adjusted is wonderful. And "enough common sense to avoid getting arrested" is more than many people ever muster. I'm proud of her, too!

adrienne said...

You must love those Christmas newsletters, too.

SkylersDad said...

Such a glowing report usually only comes from a trailer park...

Stacy said...

LMAO. I love this post.


http://staceria.blogspot.com/
(my personal not photo blog)

Sprite's Keeper said...

Exactly why I love you, Vodka. Always focusing on the positive!
xoxo

Laura said...

My daughters would read exactly like that with the inclusion that while at said *study sessions* she effectively managed to stay drug free.

She's a Freshman at college now (Junior college) & the two girls who had the long list of achievements and went to wonderful Universities. Well, one is now pregnant & the other is pulling straight C's because she seems to have developed a cocaine habit.

Personally I'm quite proud.

Leanne (http://ironicmom.com) said...

Your post made me smile. I have twins (now 5) who get into lots of antics, most of them legal (except the time they stole pens from an office supply store). Still, I had a difficult pregnancy, so my husband and I found ourselves in love with the word "normal." When the doctor said "normal," that meant all was well. Fortunately, all still is well. Here's to parenting normal kids.

Jillian Livingston said...

I grew up totally average and now look at me!! What?? Ok, I guess that doesn't make you feel better.

madtexter (corey james) said...

That reminds me, I too have a box of Thin Mints somewhere in the netherworld of the pantry. I bought them last February when the Girl Scout Cookie Nazi Mom was circling the office looking for victims.

http://www.madtexter.com/2009/03/lion-witch-and-girl-scout-cookies.html

Midwest Mommy said...

You are so honest and crack me up! I love it!

Desert Songbird said...

We find pride where we can. *grin*

Madge said...

i remember those bragging parents at the playground when my kids were toddlers. it just seems to go on and on and on and on....

Beth said...

You know, I needed a reminder to focus on how positive it can be to have nothing. Really, I could be so much worse.

TheTruthWILLSetYouFree said...

Hilarious. It makes me think of the kid's dad who told me on the phone last year after I caught his kid cheating (using a dictionary for his vocabulary quiz) that "he had a baseball game and didn't have time to study." He never addressed the issue, just said that.

On another note: YOUR KID will be JUST find :)

Moonlight Hollow Musings said...

Texas Tech is a really good choice for you to pursue! :)

Malisa

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I can smell your pride from here.

Seriously though, thank God she's just normal. That should be plenty for people.

phd in yogurtry said...

Now, that's my kinda love.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Be wonderfully average...that way when you do something above that people will treat you like you pulled the president out of quicksand :)

Peace ~ Rene

Tamara said...

I have one of these daughters too that I'm Proud Schmoud of!! LOL Infact, years ago her first grade teacher told me my daughter was like a queen with a septor sitting at her desk commanding her subjects....yup I'm Proud Schmoud. lol
I'm loving your blog, new follower and I'm grabbing your button. :)
http://www.homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com

Kiran (Masala Chica) said...

There is something to be said about not having a Type A, Girl Scouting, President of the Student Council, Captain of the Cheerleading squad kind of daughter. Not average - she just has different priorities ;-)

She sounds pretty darn cool to me. Congratulations and Cheers!

me in the pink said...

LOL. That was great. I would be willing to bet that it would be a hit with colleges in her college essay. It is honest and true - and it is OKAY.

Joanie said...

Heh. and sigh.

SITS Girls said...

You may very well be brilliant.

I think I am in love with your blog.

T

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