Vodka’s To-Do list for Wednesday.
1. Remind Golden Boy and the do-good brigade about the talking rules. The new rule at the top of the list? NEVER (and I mean never) say “I’d tap that” in front of your mother when watching girls at the pool.
2. Refill the snack cabinet, the drinks in the fridge and anything that is edible before the brigade comes back over. Who knew that three boys resembling stick figures could eat you out of house and home? (Yeah. I knew. I just FORGOT.)
3. Teach Junior and Munchie how to vacuum after themselves, AND make coffee. (This time remind them to use a filter – and that I like my coffee strong enough to defend itself.)
4. Beg the neighbor to let me use his John Deere riding mower. (My arms and legs are still screaming from the last push-mowing incident. Sweat is highly overrated.)
5. Hide my wallet.
Oh wait, it’s empty.
(Oh, I almost forgot. Number 6? Remind e-harmony that I am probably not interested in anyone who “figure-skates” in their spare time. I might NOT be that man’s perfect match. I’m just sayin’.)