I spent a few minutes after school today slumped in my rocking chair beside the whiteboard. I was exhausted, as are most teachers the end of the FULL MOON day. (You cannot tell me that children don’t morph on days when there is a full moon. Teachers KNOW.)
I started thinking about what “real” people do during the day, and the things that THEY say while on the job.
Things like, “Nurse, scalpel!”
And, “Trade the stock! Trade now!”
Or even, “Your honor, I object!”
You know what I said today? You want to know ALL THE THINGS I said at work today? Here’s what my fried brain remembers:
“Jack, please get the play dough off your head, please."
“James, we do NOT talk about C-4 or any other kind of explosives in reading groups: or any other time during our day in kindergarten. Got it?”
“No, Jack, do not make Batman masks out of the play dough."
“Helen! HELEN!!! Do NOT eat the chicken legs in the play kitchen. They are FILTHY!”
“Rachel, were you sniffing the markers again? Yes, you were! Then why is your nose purple, red, brown and green?”
“Jack, no more play dough for you! For at least a week!” (Mrs. Jackson, did he put that in his pants? Really?)
“David – do NOT crawl under the table and eat those brownie crumbs! Stop it! There is no ten second rule when the floor is FILTHY.”
“People, I am begging you, please, please, PLEASE do NOT put your fingers in your noses. We have five billion boxes of tissues in this room that NO ONE USES. Well, except me."
And my family wonders why I'm a TAD tired when I get home.